Habakkuk 3

If I Were To Write A Blog Post...

2010-08-08T18:16:00.003-05:00

If I were to write a blog post, I'd like to go back to February and write about missing Savannah on her birthday and how God brought us through it and made it a beautiful day anyway. Mike and I went to Paint it Pottery in the Dells that morning and I chose a little cup and saucer to paint. I wanted something that I could use every day that would remind me of Savannah but not necessarily be about Savannah - if that makes any sense. It says JOY on the side of the cup, and around the saucer, it reads "Joy cometh in the morning" - one of those passages that I held in my heart and kept reminding myself was true.

Then we went as a family to Walmart and we let each of the children pick out some gift for a newborn baby girl. We put all the gifts into a basket and brought it over to the hospital where Savannah was born along with a note that explained that the gift was for the first baby girl born on or soonest after Savannah's birthday. I was able to find out later that a baby girl received the gift the next day and her parents were blessed by it. God is so good!

Or If I were to write a blog post, I'd go back to June 2nd and write about how God blessed us with an incredible little guy named Wilmer Markus. He is such a beautiful baby. Right now he is in that wonderful smiley, talkative stage that is such a blessing. Joy truly has come in the morning. In fact, my cup runneth over!

Or if I were to write a blog post, I'd go back to the middle of July, when I actually got to go visit my dear friend, Jewels and her family. My two oldest boys paid for a ticket, my husband took the time off of work to stay home with the children, and Wil and I set off in an airplane for four and half days of wonderful fellowship!

Or I'd go back to about a week ago and tell about the graduation party we had planned for our oldest son, Micha and how proud I am of him.

But that's if I were going to write a blog post. It probably would make more sense to face reality and accept the fact that I am not a blogger. My lack of posts over many months makes that pretty clear, doesn't it? So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...

God bless you and good bye!

Love,

Heidi

This Week's Projects

2010-02-09T20:54:00.003-06:00

I finally made up a dress this week with fabric that I designed myself. Spoonflower.com is a website where you can upload your fabric designs and have them printed for you. If only it were a little more affordable, my sewing room would be filled with my creative inspirations. :) This one is called, "Stripes and Paisleys" - (real original LOL) and is printed on organic cotton sateen. I chose the color palette to hopefully coordinate with the colorgrown cotton that I've been using, but I got the cream background a bit too yellow. Still, I really like it. :)
I used a little of the organic cotton lace I had left to finish it off.

So now I'm on a roll. I love designing fabrics. I have three new ones that I uploaded this week,

"Cross Stitch Rose Border Print" - because there just aren't enough vintage embroidered pillowcases in the world ;)

"Vintage Roses" - a companion print inspired by a fabric from the 1940's

and "In Bloom" - a pink ticking stripe with vines and hearts and flowers.

I'm thinking I want to use the border print for Easter dresses this year, if I can manage to squeeze it into the budget.

This Week's Project - Wilmer's suit :)

2010-01-27T15:37:00.005-06:00

When we found out from the ultrasound that we were having a boy this time, the first thing I realized is that we had almost no clothes around here for a boy baby. It's understandable since Jeremi will be 14 before Wil is born, but certainly something that needed fixing.

I went through my bins of patterns and was surprised to realize I had nothing for a boy there either! While I was considering running to Walmart or Joanns, I remembered my shelf of Sew Beautiful magazines. Hooray for Sew Beautiful!

I found an issue with a free pattern called "Aaron's Christening Romper" and thought in another fabric it would be perfect. :)

So I dug through my fabric stash looking for Something - Anything - suitable for a boy. I finally found some light blue gingham that even my husband was willing to accept as not too feminine. :)
The original pattern included a sort of triangular yoke which you are supposed to lay over your smocked piece and cut away the part of the smocking that it covers. Maybe it's just my laziness, but I was not willing to spend that much time smocking just to cut it away. Not to mention, I couldn't find the power cord for my embroidery machine. :) (Now before you look at the picture, let me explain that I am a very novice smocker. This is a total of three times that I've even tried. I don't even own a pleater, I just sew line after line of a gathering stitch on my sewing machine and then try to gather all the lines together. So let me just warn you that those funny little blue blobs are supposed to be cars and you can pretend that you knew that all along, ok?)

In the past I've made just a few outfits that opened at the legs for changing, and they were all flops. The snaps never stayed closed and the poor child was left crawling around with these billowy goofy looking wings hanging behind them. (Just ask my husband about the "bug pants". I don't think I'll ever live those down LOL) So, I tried something new. I used tiny buttons and button holes all along the inseam. They are surprisingly not difficult to button and unbutton. Hopefully that will still prove to be true ON the baby. :)

It was labled a newborn size, but it looks pretty big. At least he'll grow into it.

And then, my husband found me a power cord that worked for my embroidery machine after all. Who knew that a PS2 actually had a legitimate reason for existing?!

I can't take credit for the play on words. That was the title of a cross stitch design of a little car that I ran across on the internet somewhere while I was looking for little boy patterns and I thought it was perfect for our Wil. I plan to make a bib out of it.

News from the Kaether household :)

2010-01-25T10:12:00.004-06:00

Last week I had my first ultrasound. The ultrasound went well and showed us a beautful, healthy baby. God is so good! I also "peeked". LOL

We are having our first boy in 14 years!! We are all so excited and looking forward to getting to meet Wilmer. (Named after my Grampa Gartman) I am starting to do some sewing and have already had a package addressed to Wil come from my Mom and Dad with some clothes. There isn't much saved from when Jeremi was a baby, understandably. :) But Wil won't be going naked. Emilie (my 3 yo) is concerned about him being naked right now though. She keeps asking if she can give Wil his clothes and toys and wondering why he isn't born yet. I think she'll love being a big sister.

Also last week, the new Daddy's Little Princess and DLP Organics websites have gone live. I'm so glad to have them done - for now anyway. You can check them out at http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/

Juli earned herself a SPiDer nap for doing her chores above and beyond last week, so I'll be heading to Burger King or McD's with her this noon. "SPiDer" is something I've adapted from my own childhood. It stands for Special Priviledge Day. When I was little, the person with the SPiDer got to sit up front in the car if we went somewhere, dry the dishes while Mom washed (yes this was actually considered a priviledge believe it or not!) and stay up a little later after everyone else went to bed. Mom managed to do this for us weekly, which I find amazing. For my own kids, it has become something to be earned once in a while.

Here is a picture of Juli here wearing her new blouse and skirt that she made herself!

I'm probably going to be losing both of my biggest helpers for the summer to other jobs, though I'd never want them to give up the opportunities they've been given. I sat down this morning and worked out a summer schedule for the rest of the children that I think will work well. The schedule we have now, we've been using for almost a year, which is significant. I am schedule-challenged and this is the first schedule to last more than a day or two! I'm praying the new one will go as well.

Well, that's it. All the news that's fit to print, as they say. :) God bless you and have a wonderful day!

- Heidi

More Christmas Crafts

2009-12-17T09:54:00.002-06:00

I love our homemade Christmas tradition. :) Here are the little gnome and fairy dolls I made for my youngest daughter's stocking. The patterns for these are available at http://www.weefolkart.com That has become one of my very favorite blogs to frequent. :) The wooden "people turnings" are from Casey's Wood and the felts and flosses are again from Prairie Point Junction.

My husband loved them so much that he suggested I try a design of my own. We live in Amish country, so these are very fitting Wisconsin dolls. :)

I cut the "body wrap" for each doll using the Wee folk pattern from blue felt. Then I cut a longer piece of black, but only half as high for the man's pants and two strips about 1/4" wide for his suspenders. I found that my son's leather glue works very well on felt and wood. The lady's skirt was a longer half-high strip of blue which I gathered and then sewed the ends together at her back. Some glue made sure it stayed in place. A smaller piece of gathered black felt became her apron and another longish 1/4" strip was glued on, covering the gathered edges of both skirt and apron and wrapping around to the back.

For the man's hat, I traced around a quarter, and then drew a larger circle around it. I cut out both circles and used another 1/4" strip to create the crown of the hat. The lady's bonnet is harder to explain. I've made so many little girls' bonnets, that I know the basic shape of the pattern pieces and just faked it cutting out a little one. One of these days I'll try to draw out the patterns for everything.

I sent these two cuties to my secret sister as part of her Christmas present. I hope she likes them. :)

And off the topic of cute little wee folk...

Here are the finished decorated altoid tin necklaces for the little dollies in the post below. :)

Think those will light up the faces of my 5 and 7 year olds? Especially when they peek inside? I can't wait to see their faces. :)

Altoid Tin Dolly Tutorial

2009-12-14T22:00:00.007-06:00

Tina requested that I do a tutorial on making these teeny tiny dolls, so I thought I'd give it a shot. These are made to fit into a *mini* altoid tin, like the one shown here.

Start out with a 3/8" wooden bead and a pipe cleaner. I pushed one end of the pipe cleaner up through the hole in the bead, then bent it into neck, left arm, body, left leg, right leg, body, right arm, and neck. I cut off the pipe cleaner with enough room to push it up through the hole in the bead and bend the ends over to secure.

You can snip the ends of your pipe cleaner shorter if they are too long, just make sure it folds over enough to really secure the bead. Kind of ugly looking, isn't it? ;)

Start winding the pipe cleaner doll with yarn (I used wool, but I think any yarn would do.)

Keep going, fattening up the doll as much as you like. Leave a longish end so you can tie a double knot before snipping off the end.

Here it is all wrapped up. I did have a bit of trouble with some of the yarn wanting to come off the end of one hand. I guess I wrapped too close to the end. But a bit of glue convinced it to stay where it belonged.

Laying the doll on a piece of paper, I traced a dress shape around it.

I cut two of these out of my lighter colored felt. (I purchased my wool felts and my matching embroidery flosses from Prairie Point Junction.)

Separate two strands of floss and thread a needle, matching up the ends and knotting so that you have four strands to sew with. Start at the neck and sew the top of one sleeve with a blanket stitch. Run your needle through your stitch before pulling tight and do this twice to make "knot stitches" knotting off the end. Start again at the bottom of the sleeve, and continue down the side of the dress to the bottom.

Place the dress on the doll and then stitch the other side of the dress. Now rethread your needle with two strands again, this time knot one end, leaving the short end free.

Use this to make a running stitch all around the neckline of the dress. Pull tight, gathering the dress around the doll's neck and secure with a couple of "knot stitches".

Sew your thread through the bottom of the sleeve where the "wrist" would be. Leave yourself room to work when you cut the thread.

Wrap the thread and knot it tightly around the wrist, tying with a double knot and snipping off the ends of your threads. Repeat with the other wrist.

With the length of your skirt as a guideline, cut out a string of petals a little shorter than your dress skirt out of your darker felt.

Gather the top edge of the petals, place it around the doll, and stitch the ends of the petals together.

Work your way around the petals again with your needle and thread, securing them to the dress, and cinching them up tighter and tighter as you go. Finish with a few knot stitches.

Choose a color of embroidery floss for hair. Fold it back and forth on itself until you have what looks like enough for a wig. Cut a shorter piece of floss and tie it around the center of your wig. Double knot it.

Wrap first one end of the tying thread around, under and over the ends of the pipe cleaner that stick out of the top of the head. Repeat with the other thread end.

Snip the loops of the wig so that each strand of hair is separated. You can even up the ends later if you wish.

Arrange the doll's hair as desired, snipping a few pieces of floss in the front short to create bangs. Spread some glue on the bead and press the hair down into it where you want it to stay.

It's done! And it fits perfectly. Now I just have to decorate the little tins. :)

Christmas Preparations

2009-12-08T10:06:00.002-06:00

I love this season of getting ready for Christmas. All the fun traditions, yet the freedom to change them if needed or wanted. When I was a little girl, every Christmas eve we had a "Christmas tree picnic" - a special meal eaten as a picnic by tree-light on the living room floor. Mike and I adapted the tradition to fit our own family, chosing to have our Christmas tree picnic on the night we set up the tree. Traditionally that has been the first Sunday in Advent.

Well, this year, we wanted to do things a little differently. Part of it was that I wanted to do the tree differently. We've had the same pink and white and gold theme for at least 15 years and to be honest, it was getting boring - to me at least. I wanted an old fashioned tree to fit our old fashioned house. So I convinced Mike to wait a little longer this year.

Meanwhile, I started felting popcorn. I wanted strings of popcorn and cranberries, but ones that could be made once and used year after year. So I got out my wool roving and picked off little bits, squishing and squashing them in warm soapy water until they turned into something that looked quite a bit like pieces of popcorn. It was kind of fun - but slow. Each piece of popcorn needed to be squished for 5 - 10 minutes. At the end of the first evening's work, I had 30 pieces of popcorn. Only about 300 some more to go at least. LOL

I think Mike was watching me felting away and was beginning to realize it would probably be next year before the tree went up! One night he came home with a huge bag of foam bits (meant for stuffing) and some pretty red beads. They look remarkably like popcorn if you don't look too close. Within an hour or so, we had 3 six foot strands of popcorn and cranberries ready to go on the tree! It was wonderful!

I strung the felted popcorn I had done with some beads and made one strand which I put on top of the piano. As Mike pointed out, if I just do a few pieces of popcorn a night, I could have close to 1000 pieces felted and ready to go for next year.

So that opened up the possibility of getting the tree set up and decorated. Hooray! We have several birthdays to work around in December plus our anniversary, so we decided to set it up on Saturday - the 5th. The kids and I made candy canes and gingerbread men from sculpey and painted them. My son, Jeremi glued tinfoil to paper and made origami stars. I *love* how they turned out! I switched out my old precious moments angel tree topper that I bought when I was about 16 years old, for a pretty more old fashioned looking star. I really wanted candles. I've always been fascinated with the old pictures I've seen of Christmas trees with candles on them. My friend Chautona helped me find a place online to order strings of lights that look like old fashioned candles! Way cool! We decided to do as my parents did and have the picnic part of it on Christmas Eve this year.

Now there's the cookies and carols and all the presents to make. :) Our family tradition is to do a homemade Christmas. All the gifts must be homemade. It gets gloriously overwhelming at the last minute - sometimes simplifying the grandiose plans we made at the beginning, and even once in a while putting an IOU under the tree, but nobody minds. It's so much fun to create something made specially to bless that precious person. Here's one I'm working on right now. (My little girls don't read my blog, so I'm safe) ;) It's a tiny little fairy doll that fits into a mini altoid tin. I plan to decorate the tin too. I also made some little gnome and flower fairy people for my Emilie like the ones at weefolkart.com . They are so CUTE.

I am so looking forward to Christmas Eve when our youngest child will put baby Jesus into the manger in the Nativity scene and we'll read Luke 2 and open all the wonderful homemade presents and have our Christmas tree picnic.

What a glorious time of year!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

2009-11-04T09:08:00.002-06:00

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

For Today 11/4/09
For more information, see http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

FOR TODAY November 4, 2009

From my photos... - above: Amanda Grace with her new birthday dolly

...Outside my window - It's looking like it might clear up after all. It was trying to snow this morning

...I am thinking - about the next chapter of the story I'm writing. My mom and I are challenging eachother (in the spirit of nanowrimo, but not officially so - http://www.nanowrimo.org/ ) to finish our respective books by November 30th.

....I am thankful for - health, no swine flu at our house yet :)

...From the learning rooms - we're working a new song to sing for Thanksgiving. It's an old hymn called, What God Ordains Is Always Good. I chose to use a different melody.

....I am wearing - my white peasant chemise and my green and white gingham colorgrown cotton jumper

....I am creating - purple dresses for my girls to wear for Thanksgiving

...I am going - no where. The blue van is in the shop today getting that tie rod end replaced.

...I am reading - http://www.biblegateway.com/bible?language=english&version=51&passage=ezekiel+10:1-11:25;hebrews+6:1-20;psalm+105:16-36;proverbs+27:1-2 I'm also re-reading Shepherding a Child's Heart

...I am hoping - to hear my baby's heartbeat next Wednesday even though it's still pretty early

...I am hearing - the washer and dryer humming

...Around the house - Lissa and Juli are singing while they work :) Jeremi's playing with Emi, Abigail and Amanda are straightening up their room, and Micha and Terran are working on their papers due in their Literature class soon

....I am wondering about - what to write for the Rosenow (my mom's side of the family) newsletter. I just got a request this morning to participate with a family update.

...One of my favorite things - listening to my kids sing in four part harmony :)

...A few plans for the rest of the week: find all the winter coats, boots, etc and figure out what fits whom and where we're going to put them.

November 1

2009-11-02T06:59:00.002-06:00

What has not just one...

but TWO favorite meals,

tons of presents

and TWO cakes??

It's November 1st at our house. :) 5 years ago yesterday, Terran received a baby sister, Amanda Grace for his 11th birthday.

We had a really lovely day yesterday. Terran chose Chinese for his meal at lunch time. Chicken stir fry, rice, Terran's General Tzo's sauce and another less spicy sauce, egg rolls, and pot stickers. It was So good and we were So stuffed!

Then we let the birthday boy and girl open their presents. Amanda got a new doll and a stuffed horse. Terran got a big roll of craft leather and a book on tanning deer hides. Both got a package from Nana and Papa full of all kinds of things as well.

Amanda choose fried chicken, corn, and coleslaw for her birthday meal. No one was very hungry yet, but we made one piece for each person and it was very good, leaving just enough room for...

The cakes. :) Mike made a beautiful fairy castle cake for Amanda with pink strawberry cake and a dragon made of fruit roll ups. And Terran made his own ice cream cake - crushed oreos on the bottom, a quart of coffee ice cream, and crushed up heath bars on top. Yum!

One more year. It's hard to believe they're 16 and 5 already! We are so blessed!

Presentation Night

2009-10-30T07:27:00.004-05:00

Every once in a while, an informal group of homeschooling families in our area gets together for what we call a presentation night. It's kind of like show and tell. Each child who wants to can get up and show everyone something they've been learning or doing. 5 families came last night with about 30 children.

Each of our children participated with a presentation, though unfortunately, my camera died halfway through. :(

Micha and Terran, with their friend Zac wrote and performed a skit of the Biblical story from Judges 3 - King Eglon and the judge Ehud, through whom God delivered Israel.

I had to include this photo. ;) In their version of the story, the mean spirited King Eglon decided he had not yet that day taken candy from a baby. So he forced his servant to play the part so that he could check it off his list of evil things to do. (They did warn everyone that it wasn't *exactly* like the Biblical account.)

Jeremi created an animation of Noah's ark. He explained how the animation process works. (Of course, he did so in his own style - as "Abu" rather than as himself. LOL)

Lissa read the story she wrote for Vision Forum's 2010 essay contest. http://www.visionforum.com/2010

Emilie played her reading game in front of everyone. She sounds out the three letter word on each card, then finds the little object to match. Her favorite is "cat". I have to make sure that one is last so she doesn't get totally distracted by wanting to play with the tiny pink cat.)

Unfortunately, my camera died before Juli played "Jesus Loves Me" on the harp so beautifully and Abigail read a story out of her reading book complete with a voice change for the "Billy Goat" character and Amanda recited her memory work passage, Eph. 4:32 flawlessly.

I think Mike got pictures and maybe even video on his Blackberry, if we can figure out how to get them from there onto the computer. :)

It was a wonderful evening. Mike even surprised us by being there. We were expecting him to have to work late. Wonderful presentations, delicious snacks, and lovely fellowship. God is so good!

For Today 10/21/09

2009-10-21T08:25:00.003-05:00

For more information, see http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

FOR TODAY October 21, 2009...It's not even fully light yet at 8:30 in the morning. Winter is coming way too fast!

...I am thinking - I need to clean up my summer kitchen and find room for the stuff that was moved to make room for the freezer we were just given.

....I am thankful for - God's provision for vehicles. Just found out that the minivan needs a new tie rod end, but God already provided the funding.

...From the learning rooms - Abigail is reading well enough now to join in reading passages on Sunday morning!

....I am wearing - my white blouse and my purple and blue peasant skirt (LOL Would you believe I've got the same outfit on today? - 5 outfits and this one just happened to come around again today - I need to make myself something new to wear.)

....I am creating - a bonnet for a customer's rush order

...I am going - hmm I could say "crazy" but that would imply that I wasn't already there!

....I am reading - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jeremiah%2037:1-38:28;1timothy%206:1-21;psalm%2089:38-52;proverbs%2025:28&version=NIV

...I am hoping - my sister and brother in law have safe travels and wonderful experiences on their mission trip to India

...I am hearing - a couple of pine squirrels chasing eachother up into the pear tree, down and around the back porch, and back again and again.

...Around the house - Micha's making french toast (kind of a late start this morning after a late night.), Terran, Juli, and Lissa are reading in the livingroom, Jeremi's playing with Emilie, Manda's digging in the community shoe box, and Abigail's setting the table.

....I am wondering about - lactose intolerance. Everyone in my family has it. Mine's been mild enough to be in denial, but the slowed digestion of pregnancy seems to be making it much less ignorable. :(

...One of my favorite things - the smell of coffee and french toast in the morning

...A few plans for the rest of the week: sewing projects, planning what to serve on Saturday when Mom comes, hoping to start working on a few Christmas presents. (We do all homemade gifts and there are only 60 some days left)

From my photos...

Another third birthday - 7 years ago. :) Julihannah Kristine

Don't forget to scroll down to the last post and leave a message for a chance to win a copy of Chautona Havig's latest book, Argosy Junction!

Book Review - and possible prizes :)

2009-10-19T11:10:00.002-05:00

Title: Argosy Junction
Author: Chautona Havig
Publisher’s Synopsis: The romance of the Montana Rockies has a pull on Matt Rushby that he's never fully understood. Sheep, mountains, and a family wounded by the spiritual abuses of a cult capture his heart on his first vacation from the metropolis of Rockland. While he learns how destructive the church can be to its own, the Argosys discover a Jesus they forgot.

My Review: Chautona's second book to come out in print, this book was a joy to read. This work of Christian fiction tells the story of the meeting of Matt Rushby - the boy who grew up in the inner city - and Lane Argosy - ranch owner's daughter. Talk about opposites attracting! Both are introduced to a world they've never known.

First, Matt sees life through the eyes of the Argosy's who have been shunned by The Brethren, a church that they had originally been a founding part of. Seeing the way they've been treated, Matt understands Lane's reluctance to have anything to do with the Lord, but he is determined to show her what true faith really is.

Then Lane and her sweet and naive little sister, Patience come to visit Rockland and experience the inner city. "A little child shall lead them" rings true as Patience finds joy in helping the homeless and showing love to a prostitute who visits Matt's church.

Chautona does a great job of showing balance in this story. The point of separation for the Argosy family from the Brethren was over an incident with a young lady wearing jeans and she does a good job of showing how easy it is to slip over the line into legalism. Yet it would be easy to portray all people who wear dresses and long hair as being legalistic, and for a while I was a bit concerned that that could be where the story was going. (At the same time as I was sure it couldn't be, knowing the author!) I loved how Chautona brought into the story a lovely family who outwardly may have looked like the Brethren but inwardly they truly loved the Lord and others and understood the concept of Christian freedom.

This book is part of Chautona's "Rockland Chronicles". I love how each story stands alone, yet she weaves characters from one to another. (You can read one of her ongoing stories called Past Forward here: http://www.fairburytales.com/fairburytales Matt and Lane peek into that story too!)

The Contest: http://paradoxology.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/contest/ Chautona is doing a contest. If my name is chosen from those who have blogged about her book, you will have a chance to win too! Just comment on this post and if my name is chose, one of your names will be chosen also to receive a copy of Argosy Junction.

Happy Birthday to my 3 year old!

2009-10-16T14:54:00.004-05:00

3 years ago, yesterday, Emilie Lynnette joined our family in the wee hours of the morning. Truly joy came in the morning, and she is such a joy!

Here is a picture of her "cake". Emi requested chocolate cake with mint frosting. Terran made the cupcakes and the frosting for me and let me decorate it. I made fondant to create the little characters. (Some of them turned out better than others. LOL) Emilie LOVES Winnie the Pooh. She has nicknamed herself Pooh Bear and calls Micha: Owl, Terran: Rabbit, Jeremiah: Tigger, Julihannah: Eyeore, and Elisabeth: Kanga.

The fondant recipe is super easy -
1 cup of mini marshmallows squished down and stuffed as full as possible,
1 T water
microwave for 30 seconds and stir until liquidy (is that a word?)
then stir in (and knead in) powdered sugar until you have a modeling clay consistency.
You can separate it into different bowls and use food coloring (and extra powdered sugar as needed) to achieve different colors.

Here is Emilie with her cake. She loved it! :) (Terran and Jeremi decided that the Eyeore looked more like a leopleuridon. - those who have experienced the insanity of "Charlie the Unicorn" will know what that means. - you can look it up on youtube, but maybe you'd rather not know. ;)

And Emilie in her new birthday dress from Nana. (I promised my mom I'd get a picture and let her see it. Hi, Mom!)

"Behold, children are an heritage of the Lord."

Have a great day!

Trying something new and simple

2009-10-13T11:17:00.002-05:00

I've come across this "Simple Woman's Day Book" recently and have enjoyed reading the entries on my friends' blogs. For more information, see http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

FOR TODAY October 13, 2009

...Outside my window - The sun makes it look like a warmer day than it really is. Snow flurries yesterday!

...I am thinking - about a story I'm writing. I'm stuck.

...I am thankful for - God's incredible blessings - a beautiful home, land, wonderful children and husband, a reliable job for Mike, provision for our needs, and a precious little one that God is knitting within me. :)

...From the learning rooms - found a great website this morning on teaching spelling. I have children who are voracious readers. I thought spelling would come naturally. Um, maybe not.

...From the kitchen - our neighbor filled up our kitchen with apples and my mother in law blessed me with more jars. Just have to get going on making the apple sauce.

...I am wearing - my white blouse and my purple and blue peasant skirt and my warm turquoise wool sweater.

...I am creating - dresses for customers and working on a new song

...I am going - no where. :) Snugged in our warm house while we get over our colds.

...I am reading - Bible reading today: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jeremiah%2022:1-23:20;2thessalonians%201:1-12;psalm%2083:1-18;proverbs%2025:11-14&version=NLT and DragonLight by Donita K. Paul

...I am hoping - to see my mom, sister, nieces and nephews later this month!

...I am hearing - my Judy Rogers cd (a wonderful gift from a reader here!), my daughter washing dishes and the little ones playing

...Around the house - Micha and Terran are reading Ivanhoe for their literature class, Jeremi is just coming in from taking out the trash, Lissa is working on spelling, Juli's doing dishes and planning lunch, Abi's playing the computer, and Manda and Emi are playing with Emi's "Little Einsteins" toys.

...I am wondering about - our country's future. Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!

...One of my favorite things - afternoon naps :)

...A few plans for the rest of the week: apple sauce! lots of apple sauce. :)

From my photos...

I'm so thankful for the relationships between my oldest and youngest children!

Finished!

2009-09-18T17:11:00.002-05:00

I've been talking for a long time about how I was working on publishing a version of Savannah's scrapbook and about the cd project to go with it. Well, it's finally finished :) I worked out all the pages in a digi-scrap format and got it printed through Lulu.com - then added little bits of special touches - rhinestone stickers, 3-d elements, mini books - one that even has a buckle to open it.

Then I conned my sister, Cheri into helping me with my cd project.

And it all came together today - (It only took 7 months hehe) and I finished the website :) Let me know what you think. :)
http://www.savannah-rose.com

God bless you!
- Heidi

A Neat Blog I Started Reading Today

2009-09-09T17:13:00.002-05:00

I ran across a link to a really neat blog today. It is the journey of a family who buys and old Amish farm and lives without electricity etc.
http://eclecticculturefarm.blogspot.com
I imagined when we were looking to buy this house that our life would look a little bit like this. Of course, God had a slightly different plan in mind. :)
Anyway - just wanted to share a blog that I'm sure you'll enjoy!

Summer Fun

2009-09-07T09:56:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, we had one of those really hot August days that have been so rare this summer - the kind of day that makes the kids wish we had a pool - the kind of day that makes you actually consider really crazy things like going to a water park. :) Fortunately, we have creative people around here who can come up with better ideas!

Mike pulled out a large tarp and the boys set it up on a small hill with some rocks to hold it in place. Micha didn't want to go down the makeshift water slide so he was conned into holding the hose.

Going down the slide is fun, ending up in the mud at the bottom is a little more concerning!

I don't know what Lissa said to earn the extra spray. Wow, that well water's cold!

Manda says, "Whee!"

Terran comes *flying* down the hill!

Maybe that was a little TOO fast!

"My turn! my turn!" Emilie needs a push.

What a fun way to spend a hot summer day!

Catching Up

2009-08-28T16:04:00.002-05:00

Dear Friends,

What a strange and cool summer it's been here in Wisconsin. It's hard to believe it's already pretty much over! Life has been busy here at the Kaether homestead, and it's been quite a while since I've written here. So, I thought I'd write a catch up post before going on with the last two dragons.

So what all have we been doing?

Picking cherries and canning cherry pie filling.

Picking raspberries and black raspberries and making jam.

Canning up a bushel of peaches.

Shredding and freezing zucchini.

Picking blackberries and making more jam.

Picking apples and planning to make applesauce.

Watching the corn and the peppers and the pumpkins which are just about to be ready.

Figuring out when and how to harvest the pears and the hickory nuts and black walnuts.

Eating the tomatoes about as fast as they come in. :)

I feel like this is all free (or nearly free) food that God has provided for us and I'd better take advantage of it while it's here. Kind of like when God gave the Israelites manna and they had to make sure they got out there and picked it up at the time God gave it to them.

The other day, I made for the very first time, my own tzaziki sauce. I didn't plant cucumbers this year, but a friend gave me a few from her garden. We love gyros, so I tried an experiment. I browned ground beef and seasoned it with greek seasoning, then served it with homemade tzaziki sauce, fresh tomatoes from our garden, and flour tortillas (in place of pitas). I have to admit they weren't as good as the real thing, but they weren't bad at all, and the tzaziki sauce itself was so yummy!

My sister, Cheri came down from Minnesota for a weekend and we recorded a couple of songs for our new cd - now finished! entitled "Through God's Eyes ~ Songs of Comfort and Praise for the Valley".

I've also been working hard on the published version of Savannah's Story, which I decided to call, "Right Where I Belong". I just got my proof copy from Lulu.com today and it is finally mistake-free and ready to offer for sale! I am excited to see how God can use Savannah's story to bless others.

I am still not pregnant. I never expected that six months later, I'd still be waiting. But I am learning to trust (again) that God really does know what He's doing and His timing is perfect. Sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. And I want so badly for God to heal my heart in the way *I* think would be most healing - a new baby. But, as I was proof reading my book this afternoon, I read again what I said about the light and the shadow in my pictures.
"In my life there are times of darkness - wintery times. And like taking a photograph with a flash, I've tried to force my own ideas of light into the situation. Although they may seem to help a little, they lack the power to transform my life into something truly beautiful. It's just a flat copy of what could be." And I realized, that's just what I'm doing when I want to kick my heels and scream like a two year old - "It's not fair!" I'm trying to force God into my concept of what's best for me. Lord, give me the eyes of faith to see Your picture that You're painting in my life - a picture where the shadows are perhaps the most beautiful part!

I'm working on building up an inventory of dresses for Daddy's Little Princess for the Christmas season. I'm going to have some big changes coming for DLP in the new year (you can read more about it here: http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/dlporganics.html ) and so I'm hoping to make the Christmas season a little simpler this year so that I can concentrate on making the new website and getting everything ready to go. I just got my new labels - even they are made of organic cotton! - and I'm so pleased with how beautifully they turned out. (Thank you, Lisa at clothinglabels4u.com!)

I've been missing my big boys a lot as they've been working for my brother-in-law for the summer, baby sitting his children, and gone a whole week at a time. Micha comes home tomorrow - just in time to celebrate Juli's 10th birthday! Wow, does time fly!

And most of all we've been - watching the weeds and the children grow faster than you can imagine!!

God bless you all
- Heidi

Slaying the Dragons - Nature vs. Nurture / Physical vs. Mental

2009-07-09T07:43:00.002-05:00

We all look at the world through the lens of what we believe. I acknowledge the fact that my thoughts about all these dragons are biased by what I believe to be true.

1. I believe that God is in control. He is the great Physician, and every means we use for healing, needs to acknowledge Him as such.

2. I believe that God created our bodies to heal themselves. A cut closes up and grows new skin, cold germs are eventually conquered, a bone will knit itself back together, even things like diabetes and cancer have been known to reverse themselves with proper nutrition. The means of healing that acknowledge and work with or enhance that natural God given tendency, usually work best with the fewest negative side effects.

3. I believe that our natural tendency as sinful human beings is to want to live life our own way without consequences and not only that, but with perfection. We want to eat as much refined sugar as we want without acknowledging the connection to cavities and diabetes, and at the same time, have a body that looks like we work out at the gym 5 days a week. We want to smoke a pack a day and blame the tobacco company when we get lung cancer. We want to eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die - but without the dying part. And when cavities, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, and other chronic health problems become a part of our lives, we want a magic potion to take it all away. Poof! I am as guilty of this as anyone, as a simple trip to the bathroom scale would tell you.

4. I believe that our society finds it less and less acceptable to have variations of normal. Everyone must be at the same level of happiness and health, or something is considered wrong. It is already at the point where we are told that we "deserve" to live a life free of sadness, pain, fear, and anger. Why live through it and fight it for years when we can get a pill that will "fix" it now? The next step is the idea that those who don't pursuit medical treatment for their emotional dragons are in some sense neglecting and abusing themselves and those around them. We see this already happening in cases where people wish to use something other than the accepted treatment for certain health issues. There is such a need in our society to assign blame, it is not far fetched to foresee a day when doctors *require* their patients to take mind altering drugs, simply to cover themselves against lawsuits.

I realize that this worldview colors and shapes my view of things like mood disorders and mental illness. This doesn't mean that I don't see the possibility of a physical component to things like anxiety, depression, and anger. First of all, genetics probably do play a part in ones tendency to certain dragons. We have depression all through my family on both sides. I remember however a conversation I had with a doctor about vaccines and autism. She said that new studies had proved that the vaccines and their mercury did not cause autism. The genetic tendency to autism was already there. The vaccine just triggered it. Somehow she thought this argument removed any fault from the vaccine. To my way of thinking, it did just the opposite. The genetic tendency may have been there, but without the vaccine to trigger it, it would likely have either stayed dormant or been much less severe. The same is true with mental illnesses. The genetic tendency is there, but without the constant nurturing of those feelings, it would not have the same amount of power to control.

Second, mental things affect the physical. There may well be a chemical imbalance - too little serotonin, too much adrenaline, etc. Our dwelt upon thoughts and feelings can literally *cause* more or less of certain chemicals to be made. Those chemicals can then make us more susceptible to those thoughts and feelings, which then cause more of those chemical imbalances. That's why anti-anxiety and anti-depression drugs seem to work. But, like taking an aspirin for a headache that is caused by caffeine withdrawal, taking mood medications do nothing for the underlying cause.

Third, physical things do affect the mental. Things like poor diet or lack of exercise, a lack of sunlight or a lack of time in God's word can all affect our moods. Too much potassium can make us feel irritable. A deficiency of B vitamins can cause a lack of energy and depression. Certain medications can affect certain people badly, such as the panic attack reactions I've had to the epinephrine in the numbing shot at the dentist's. And then, there are hormones - hormones that are affected by diet, pregnancy, nursing, puberty, pre-menopause, menopause, physical illness, abuse, and grief. When depression, fear, or anger come crashing down upon us out of the blue, seemingly swallowing us up before we even have a thought to try to take captive, I think probably 99% of those cases are hormonal in nature. In those times, I've found what works best for me is either to choose to wait and rest in God, clinging to the knowledge that what I am feeling isn't real and it will pass eventually, and/or I can prayerfully study out what might be causing my hormonal imbalances and choose supportive foods and herbs that may work with my body to help even out the hormones that are out of whack.

I do have one caveat. A person may live a lifetime eating poorly and find out that he has diabetes. That person may well be in such trouble physically that he has no choice but to take insulin to treat his diabetes. Simply working to fix his problem nutritionally takes longer and he may die before it works. He then must prayerfully make his choice to either go on living his life however he wants to - letting the medication "take care of it", or to change his lifestyle with the goal of eventually healing his body and being able to live without the insulin shots. The question is, do you see it as a magic cure or as a cast holding a broken bone in place until it can heal? I can see the possibility of coming to the same point with a mental illness. It would take an awful lot to get to that point for myself as too many of the cases I've seen and those I've heard about have had serious personality changes, a dulling of both the emotions and seemingly of the soul itself, addiction, and / or what I've heard described as the brain turning to mush. Personally, I find the cure more scary than the disease. :)

Slaying the Dragons - The Blue Dragon

2009-07-05T18:58:00.003-05:00

Next in line is the blue dragon - Depression. It is amazing just how many many people struggle with depression these days. It seems the harder we as human beings try to be happy, the worse off we end up. I just recently read an article that stated that the women's movement has been largely successful in giving women the choices and freedoms that they wanted, but that *more* women are unhappy now.

Like the other dragons, Depression usually starts out as a little egg in selfish poor-me thinking. I remember even as a child, turning everything around to being my fault in my head and spending a great deal of time feeling sorry for myself. I grew up with a mom who spoke negatively about herself much of the time too so in some ways I suppose I came by it naturally, but that doesn't make it alright. I remember reading in the Bible that we should "love our neighbor as ourself" and wondering how that could be a good thing when I hated myself. Every thought I spoke toward myself was critical. Considering this pattern started by the time I was 6 or 7 years old, it's no wonder that it had grown to be in control of me by the time I hit puberty. And then the hormones came in and compounded everything. Life became nothing but darkness and pain. I'd lay on my bed, listening to the radio and just thinking - seldom good thoughts. I prayed over and over for God to take me Home to Heaven. I thought about how much better off everyone would be without me around. And eventually, after listening to those lies long enough, my thinking became so deluded that I actually believed it was God's will for me to kill myself. Looking back, I'm amazed that my logic could be so completely messed up, but there, in my 18 year old brain that I'd filled for years with lies and darkness - yes, *I* did it to myself - it made pefect sense. I am so ashamed at what I put the people who loved me through - at how truly selfish I was.

As I lay in a hospital bed wondering why God had not let me die, I came to see that He had a purpose for my life. It didn't get all better right away. There were years of fighting that dragon still to come, but the journey was begun and I am so thankful for it!

As with the other dragons, thanking and praising God, letting Him live through us, and taking thoughts captive is key. No matter what dragon you face in your life, those things will be crucial to be able to slay it, but there are times when it seems impossible to even do those things. Sometimes the canyon of wrong thinking has grown so deep that from the bottom, there seems to be no way up. It seems useless to even try. Here are some things that have helped me start climbing - simply putting one foot in front of the other in spite of the seeming futility of it all - until one day, I could look back and see progress!

First - get busy! I've often wondered why it is that more people suffer from depression now than say 100 years ago. I've come to believe that a lot of it may be simply more time to think. When great grandmother spent her days from before sun-up to after sun-down chasing toddlers, cleaning so much more and better than I do today, scrubbing the laundry by hand and hanging it to dry, taking care of animals and gardens, canning, making the soap and the candles, cooking everything from scratch, sewing all of their clothes, she went to bed tired but satisfied with all she had accomplished and content to have a life filled with purpose. Everything she did contributed to her family's survival. Today, we may rush around more, keeping ourselves busy with activity after activity, but at the end of the day, the brain is still way too active, leaving ourselves time to think upon our *selves*. Too much introspection is not a good thing. There may be times when we don't *feel* like doing anything and we have to force ourselves to just try. Sometimes simply going for a walk in the sunshine (or just the fresh air on days when the sun isn't shining) can be enough to get us started. Sometimes depression can be worsened by a lack of sunlight and a lack of exercise, so a walk can help both of those things. Even if it's just a little bit, it is a start, and it gives your brain something to think about besides your feelings.

Second, stop believing lies. When you tell yourself, "I'm an idiot" or "I never do anything right", you are telling yourself a lie. And we all know who the father of lies is. The truth is that you are special, dear, precious, loved, a wonderful child of God. When you tell yourself those negative things, what you are really saying is, "God made me garbage." "He doesn't really care about me." We are lying not just about ourselves, but about God too! We have spent so many days of our lives telling ourselves these wrong things. We need to acknowledge them as wrong and start laying down the paths that are right. It will take many days, months, even years of right thinking to dig out of those canyons, but it is not hopeless. We need to immerse ourselves in the truth. Turning on Christian music, spending time in Bible reading, reading other Christian books are all ways of doing this. One of the books that I found helpful was called Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts. Adding one section of that book a day to my time of Bible reading helped bring God's words to a personal level. I started to understand and truly believe that God loves ME! What an incredible revelation this is! And when I realized how much He loves me and is personally involved in my life, I began to literally fall in love with Him. This falling in love, brings thoughts of Him rather than thoughts of *self* to the forefront of our minds.

Which brings us to the third action - take JOY! I'm sure you've heard the acronym before - Jesus, Others, Yourself. Often we limit this to meaning what's most important in our lives, and this is true. But it's easy to say, Jesus is more important to me than myself, while still acting like I am more important. It was a huge leap in understanding for me to see that all those critical thoughts toward myself were just as selfish and wrong as too many self-loving and arrogant thoughts. In truth, self hating, poor-me, sorry for myself thoughts are just another form of self love. Because, what we love most is what we think about most. The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." What is more true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy than a dear, wonderful, almighty yet personable God? Proverbs 23:7 says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." The things we think about most are the kind of person we become! So our thoughts need to be so much more on God first, others second, and ourselves least.

This simply thinking of others is another great way to combat our dragons and make it easier to take our thoughts captive. There are so many needs around us that we can pray about and give and do where and what we can. Getting outside ourselves is a huge help in this battle of the mind. In the turning channels to take our thoughts captive, the channel of petition for others is another one of the more powerful channels to turn to.

All these things are not the answer in themselves, they are merely tools. There was apparently a study recently that said that "positive thinking" doesn't help depression. If our "positive" thoughts are not based in the Biblically true, right, and good things and in our personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, they are not going to be much help. And as we said with the yellow dragon, if our positive thoughts are trying to take those negative thoughts and switch them, while still really holding onto the negatives, they can't do much good then either. But as these tools bring us into a closer relationship with our wonderful Heavenly Father, He works in our hearts and changes us from the inside out. Over the years of fellowshipping with my Lord, my heart has literally been changed from a heart of darkness and stone, to one that is soft and open to the joy and peace God wants me to have. I did not do this. My right thinking did not do this. My thinking of others did not do this. God did. Just being in His presence changes us slowly but surely. In the same way that in spending lots of time with another person, we pick up their mannerisms and figures of speech. As God fills our hearts with Himself, He helps to fill in the canyons of Depression and lay down the pathways of Joy.

Slaying the Dragons - The Yellow Dragon

2009-06-29T13:48:00.004-05:00

Fear is one of the strongest emotions we experience as human beings. It brings a clear and obvious hormonal/chemical reaction in the brain - a release of adrenaline and what is called a fight or flight response. As moms, we have many things to be fearful about. finances, swimming pools, fire, tornadoes, high ledges, balloons, hot coffee, pedophiles, the direction our country is headed, and on and on and on. It is easy to become afraid. But God says over and over in the Bible to "fear not". One of my favorite passages is Phillipians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "

Like the red dragon of anger, the yellow dragon of fear can have quiet beginnings. It's just a little egg. It's just the normal thoughts and feelings that anybody has. But, it can easily grow out of control - and into control of our lives. I was speaking with a friend today who struggles with fear and we talked about the roots - begun way back in childhood. In one case, an encounter with a big dog was dwelt upon and thought about, the emotions allowed to fester. Each trigger along the way - the sound of a chain moving in the wind, the glimpse of a big dog - brought back all that original fear and cemented it in her brain. Other episodes with different fears were "handled" in the same way, until the fear became an integral part of who she was, growing bigger and bigger with each reinforcement. When a huge trial came into her life, it's no wonder that the predominant emotion (although many would have fit) was fear. That trial grew the fear into debilitating panic that lasted a long time. She is still dealing with the fallout.

It would be easy to look at the debilitating fear as something sudden, from outside of herself, over which she had no control. But looking back, the eggs were laid and incubated from early childhood. There are many who cry foul at this. How dare we say that our mental illnesses are rooted in our own wrong thinking? How can we blame a child who doesn't know any better? Are we saying that if our faith was just stronger, if we just read the Bible and prayed more, we wouldn't be sad/scared/angry/bitter/etc.?

The point is that it is not about blame, but simply about consequences. God says that the wages of sin is death. He says that we are born with a sinful human nature. Each child is born with the consequences of sin already at work in his life. We may cry, "unfair!" but that doesn't change the facts. In the same sense, our thoughts and especially our dwelling on certain thoughts, has consequences, both emotional and physical, even as little children. As we think and learn, pathways are literally created in our brain, chemicals are brought into play, and memory files are created. Each time those pathways are repeated, they are strengthened until paths become ruts and sometimes ruts even become canyons.

So, how do we break free? How do we slay the dragon of fear? I believe there are three main weapons here again.
First, we need to say, "Lord, I can't, but You can!" When Fear is overwhelming you and the dragon is sitting on your chest and you feel like you can't even breathe, like it has become a tangible heaviness, like you don't even know if you *want* to fight it anymore - that's when God has to take control and do the fighting. And He will! It may not be the immediate relief that we may want. My friend told me of many times that she cried out to God in her fear and He graciously gave her an overwhelming feeling of His presence. The fear did not go away, but God was clearly there with her in the midst of it. It reminds me of the song by Scott Kripayne, "Sometimes He calms the storm, but other times He calms His child".

Second, we need to learn to take our thoughts captive as the Bible says. This is something few of us are taught to do, especially as children, when it would have been quite handy to never have allowed these dragons into our lives in the first place. We have been told *to* do it, but not really *how* to do it. Often we have a thought, like fearing that our child will inhale a piece of a popped balloon. We have heard stories of children dying in this way. We hear the story and it makes an impression. As we think about it, it produces a chemical response in the brain, which produces a fear emotion and cements the image in our minds. Now, we see our child with a balloon in his mouth and our brain calls up that image. If we allow ourselves to entertain the thought for more than a minute our two, the adrenaline starts to flow and the fear becomes stronger. Do that often enough with enough different scenarios, and eventually the fear becomes a defining factor of who we are. Taking a thought captive works best if we can capture it within that first 1-2 minute window - before the brain's chemicals become involved. This does not mean for instance that we see something that triggers a memory of something fearful, the image comes to mind, and we tell ourselves, "I won't think about that. I won't think about that. I won't think about that." Trust me, it doesn't work. We're still thinking about that! It also does not work if we are telling ourselves, "I don't have to fear. God can use this for good in this way or that way and maybe He's doing this or that in my life through it." We're still thinking about that! What we need to do is get it gone entirely.

I liken this to changing the channel in our brains. From what I've been reading lately and what I've experienced, our brain can only *really* concentrate on one thing - one strong thought or emotion - at a time. So we need to change the channel. We don't have to go directly from the channel of fear to the channel of perfect peace. (or the channel of anger to the channel of true love, or the channel of despair to the channel of high flying joy) Often it works better to switch to the cooking channel, the home decorating channel, the what do I need to get done today channel. Any channel that does not have any connection to the thought that you are taking captive. Put your mind on something - anything - entirely different. It may niggle at the back of your brain, but it can't control you unless you turn back to that channel. And if you do - change it again. Each of us have certain thoughts, certain areas of life that are dangerous for us to think on. For me, it may be thoughts that lead to depression, for my friend, it may be thoughts that lead to fear. Psalm 131: 1b-2 says, "I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." Those thoughts that are too great, too hard for us are matters that must be trusted to God's care. Once we have put reasonable precautions for our children's safety into place, and we know that God is in control and will not allow anything into our lives that He has not ordained, we can not dwell, fixate, or mull over those thoughts any more. We have to simply turn the channel.

Which leads us to the third weapon - praise! The Bible says in Romans 8:15, "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. " and in Isaiah 49:15-16, "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

I LOVE that image! We are graven upon the palms of His hands - quite literally by the nails on the cross! We are His dear and precious children and He loves us so very very much. We have so much to praise Him for. Even those emotions that threaten to overtake us, we can thank and Praise Him for allowing them into our lives, drawing us closer to Him. When we change the channel, the Praise channel is a very powerful channel to switch to. Satan may fight us for a little while, but eventually he must flee, holding his fingers in his ears! That Phillipians passage says to use prayer and petitions WITH thanksgiving! For me, I've found that in the moment of channel switching, a brief "Thankyou, Lord" prayer helps immensely. By that I mean, "Thankyou, Lord that You are in control no matter what, even if I don't feel like it right now." Keep it short, then, SWITCH! Praise Him, not in relation to the negative thought, but just for who He is.

There is a place to consider the effects of female hormones and health issues on one's emotions. I am not discounting that at all, though I will wait to discuss it more in length in another post. I will say though that I don't believe throwing drugs that cause more calming chemicals to be present in the brain at the problem is the answer. They do nothing to change or help the underlying causes, and for many people do more harm than good.

So until next time, God bless you as you fight the yellow dragons in your life.

Slaying the Dragons - the Red Dragon

2009-06-25T10:53:00.003-05:00

God created us to be emotional people. We feel love, hate, joy, despair, happiness, sadness, anger, fear, frustration, peacefulness. All are a part of being human. But God tells us to live by faith, not by feelings. We are to be the master, not the slave when it comes to our emotions. I remember hearing a sermon back when I was in the depths of depression, saying that depression was a sin. I was furious. How on earth could I change how I *felt*? But God's truth tells us the opposite. We Can change our feelings and should. We Can take those thoughts captive and must! If we do not, they grow and we truly become the slave, and it becomes harder and harder to ever get free. In my life Disappointment became Self Pity, which in turn became Despair, and eventually became Depression. I was *little* when it started. One could say I didn't know any better - and perhaps I didn't. It would be easy to look at those thoughts and feelings along the way as completely normal, and the Depression as something sudden that overtook me from outside myself. But the seeds were planted long before and allowed to grow - and even watered along the way. Like a dragon, the little egg becomes a little lizard wrapping its tail more and more tightly around your neck, and eventually it grows until it is a huge fire breathing dragon ready to consume you! Any emotion can gain control if allowed to fester and grow. Disappointment becomes Depression. Concern becomes Fear and Anxiety. Nervousness becomes Paranoia. Hurt becomes Bitterness. Self thought becomes Self consumption. Irritation becomes Anger and Rage. Our world is filled more and more and more with people under the control of their emotions. We call it mental illness and claim victim status, forgetting that we picked up the egg and kept it warm and fed the little dragon hatchling all along the way.

It is of course easiest to slay the dragon while it is small, even in it's shell yet. But often, we don't recognize it in time. We live in a world that sees these things as so normal that we don't notice what is going on. So what happens when the dragon is full grown and seemingly in control? Is it too late? Are we doomed to a life of slavery and medications? I don't believe so. It may take more time and will certainly be more difficult, but God is still able! He sent David out against Goliath with a sling and a stone and a strong faith. These are the same tools that will slay dragons even today - the sling and stone of prayer and praise - and faith in a God who loves us and is in control of our lives.

So, the first dragon that we find is the red dragon - the dragon of anger and rage. As Moms we may find this dragon to be suddenly more present in our lives than ever before. So very often we want desperately to not have our children remember us as angry moms - yet we feel powerless to change. We find ourselves in that "definition of insanity" - continuing to do the same things over and over, thinking we'll get different results. For me, this really did seem like one of those things that suddenly took me over from somewhere outside myself. But I had to admit the egg was laid long ago in selfish thoughts and expectations that grew into idols in my life.

I grew up in a home where anger was not the norm. Mom would become irritated on occassion but it took a lot to get her angry enough to yell. I don't think I ever saw my dad angry, although sometimes the set of his jaw as he chewed on his pipe was a clue to his inner struggle with his anger (which I've found out recently was more than I ever knew). Anger between us kids was quickly nipped in the bud whenever it occurred - not in a bad way - it was just something that wasn't acceptable and I came to see it as not normal. I remember staying over at a friend's house when I was in the eighth grade. Her brother started arguing with his mother at the supper table and sounded quite angry to my ears. It disturbed me so much that I started to cry. They quickly assured me that they were not at all angry with eachother, but rather playing, teasing. How bizarre it was to me! :)

Then I had children, and experienced anger LOL. Their fighting, bickering, misbehaving, having to be told again and again and *again* to do something - pushed me over the edge in a way I'd never felt before. It scared me. I found myself swearing in my head - and I am*not* a swearing person - but all those words from the Stephen King novels I'd stupidly read in my teen years came flooding into my brain in my anger. It was awful! I remember one morning, coming to the end of my rope and *begging* God to help me, show me what to do with that anger. Immediately, the phone rang, and it was my dearest friend and mentor. :) Isn't God amazing? During that phone call, and over the years to follow, God taught me three things that have made such a difference. Trust me, I still blow up at times, but I don't get to the swearing in my head point, praise the Lord!

First, my friend prayed for me and then she got me a set of tapes from Charity Ministries called The Godly Home. http://www.charityministries.org/tape-index.a5w?A5W_Sess_ID=a9c6600ec2e64dad960e25bd776a968d Those tapes, as well as some other great books, most recently one called Raising Godly Tomatoes http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ , helped me to learn to be more consistent in my parenting. I'd gotten into the habit of trying to ignore bad behavior until the irritation built up and up and up and I finally exploded. To say something once and matter-of-fact-ly administer discipline for disobedience, helped immensely. Even after learning this lesson, I've found it's easy to backslide into laziness and complacency again. It's so worth the effort to keep on top of things.

Second, God taught me more about loving others with His love rather than my own. He had taught me some of this in my marriage a few years before that point, but for me, the children - whom I felt I *should* have some measure of control over - were much harder than my husband -as another adult. As mothers, we have a lot of natural love for our children, which is a good thing, but there are times when we can find our children quite unlikeable - terrible as that sounds - and *is*.

God taught me that there IS no true love in me for my children. That natural love is so filled with selfish thoughts and motivations that it's no wonder we seem to lose that love when things get tough. It's no wonder we can look at our children's behavior and think they're just doing it to spite me or to make me look bad! So much of my selfworth was bound up in the behavior of my children! When they misbehaved that voice in my head told me again how worthless, useless, stupid, and incapable I was. It was all bound up in the depression and self-loathing I had struggled with most of my life.

But God was at the same time teaching me how *much* He loves ME - Yes, even me! When I truly experienced His incredible love for me - just as I was -I was finally able to put off little by little that self hatred that had consumed me. I finally was able to see myself through His eyes -dear and precious and beautiful. Then I could learn to say, "Lord, I*can't* love this person. It is impossible. But YOU can love them through me."

There were times I'd pray that prayer and take a deep breath and almost step outside myself watching myself going on to do the right thing - a bizarre feeling, really, but so incredibly powerful.

Because God had taught me how *MUCH* He loved me, showed me His delight in me personally -
Because He had drawn my heart to fall head over heels in *LOVE* with Him -
Because He had filled my heart so full to overflowing with that love relationship with Him -

When I admitted my complete inability to love my children the way I should and got my "self" out of the way - His love overflowed through me into the lives of my children around me. Again, this was not a one time thing. Oh no! Moment by moment, I had (and often still have) to make that choice. But when I do, all anger melts away and it's a beautiful thing to watch God work.

Third, He taught me that He is the true bringer of all things in my life, good, bad, irritating, whatever. If I look at my child's disobedience and get angry at my child for what my child did, I am looking at the "secondary causes" whereas the "primary cause" is God Himself. (The book, The Christian's Secret to a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith http://www.ccel.org/s/smith_hw/secret/secret_c.htm explains this concept more.) He has allowed this situation in my life for *good* to grow me, change me, draw me closer and closer to Him.

I've learned that I need to praise Him, not just *in* the hard times, but *for* them. This is always easier when the hard times are things that happen rather than what people do - especially little people that I am supposed to be teaching and training - but it is no less God's hand in my life. And I need to simply say,"Thankyou, Lord!" and give that little dragon egg of hurt that would turn into anger up as an offering to Him. This then, frees me to deal with my child's sin firmly yet calmly and lovingly.

The bigger the dragon has grown, the more times we will need to go through the above steps before it is slain. The prayer of a life that says, I can't Lord, but You can! The praise of a life that says, Thankyou Lord, for allowing this frustration in my life to draw me and my child closer to You. And the faith to believe that God can and is changing us from the inside out as we immerse ourselves in Him more and more. It is a fight that must never be given up. As Matt Kaufmann writes in his article "When Anger Rules" in Focus on the Family's webzine Boundless,
"Anger has to be experienced briefly, then dispelled or channeled into positive directions. Those who let it take up long-term residence in their souls are liable to find themselves under the devil's mastery. And if that happens, then the original cause won't even matter any more."

Stepping Back in Time

2009-06-16T18:35:00.004-05:00

We found out that there were free Mondays in June at Old World Wisconsin - a living history museum about 2 1/2 hours away from us. http://oldworldwisconsin.wisconsinhistory.org/
So we decided to meet some friends there for the day and piled into the van about 8am. After two potty breaks and accidently turning the wrong way once, we got there just in time to eat our picnic lunch.

The girls had so much fun and Terran was such a great helper. They got to experience a taste of some of the things people did back in the early days of our state of Wisconsin. One of the first areas we stopped in had children's games for them to try. Here they are trying stilts, which are apparently not as easy as they look.

Amanda trying the hoop rolling. The girls enjoyed the hoops so much that I bought two of them for them to have races here at home.

Elisabeth and her friend, Adrienne played Graces - a game where you hold two sticks through the little hoop. As you gracefully open your arms, the sticks send the hoop flying - and the other person is supposed to catch the hoop on her sticks.

There was a little school in the Norwegian area, where the girls got to sit at the desks which were actually original to the building. The interpreter told us about schools a hundred fifty years ago. He asked the children, "Who here has the same teacher for music AND art AND math AND reading." He was surprised to see most of the classroom raise their hands! We weren't the only homeschoolers there. :)

The blacksmith shop was Terran's favorite place. He has been interested for a long time in learning blacksmithing and building his own forge.

I'm sure this would have been my favorite place 150 years ago! The shelves and shelves of fabric in the general store.

There was a place in the town where the girls got to wash clothes the old fashioned way. A scrub board and a bar of soap in the first tub - a metal plunger type thing in the second - then squeeze them out and hang them on the line.

Lissa's favorite part of Old World Wisconsin - seeing and petting the horses. We saw maybe a quarter of all there was to see, there was just so much!

Tired after a long but wonderful day, Amanda and Emilie sit on the porch step.

It was beautiful - a taste of a simpler life in a simpler time. You would not believe the number of times we were asked if we were volunteers there. I guess we looked like we fit right in. I know I felt like we could fit right in too. How I'd love to cultivate that simple life here and now - in more than just the little bits here and there that we already do.

And the Winner Is...

2009-06-13T07:44:00.003-05:00

16 names all in a bowl. Hmm, which one should I pick?

This one looks good. What does it say?

It says that the winner is Challice!

Hooray!

Thankyou to everyone for playing. We had a lot of fun. Challice, please send me your address and the size that you need for Euphemia and whether you want the bloomers set or the petal dress. Who hoo!

A Neat Opportunity and a Contest for You

2009-06-05T13:16:00.004-05:00

Back in February, a new law was passed pertaining to children's items. It was written in response to the toys that were imported from China and found to have dangerous levels of lead in them. But it was written so broadly that anyone making anything for children would be affected. The law said that everything made for children would have to be tested and given a certificate that said it was safe. Each and every batch would have to be tested and it was the responsibility of the one making the item. In other words I would have to test everything I made for Daddy's Little Princess. I would have to test just about each and every dress or pair of bloomers because only those that were made *exactly* the same - pattern, size, fabric, buttons etc could be counted as a batch. And I couldn't just buy materials that had been tested by their manufacturers and rely on their certificates. I'd have to do my own testing. This would of course add up considerably.

As more and more small businesses let their voices be heard, the cpsa decided to forgo the testing requirements for one year. Business owners should be careful to make and sell only safe items, but they were allowed to use their own common sense rather than deal with the testing. Unfortunately the ability to use common sense may go away in February of next year, depending on what they do about it - but at least for now Daddy's Little Princess can continue pretty much as before.

One positive thing came out of this. As I read through the law and realized that there were exemptions for completely natural materials - cotton, wool, wood - without any dyes, bleaches, etc - I started searching for sources of organic cotton fabrics. I found something wonderful - organic *color-grown* cotton! Did you know that cotton naturally grows in all kinds of shades of green, brown, and cream? I had no idea! And they can actually weave the different colors into lovely patterns, so I can get ginghams and stripes and all kinds of things. I ordered some and fell in love with the look and feel. I actually made our Easter dresses from the colorgrown cotton this year. :) It's more expensive than my usual fabrics, but not as expensive as testing everything. :)

Then, last weekend, Mike and I went to a new store called The Green Plan-It. It was a fascinating place with everything you could imagine organic/natural/or recycled. The man we spoke to told us that they had someone working with them on providing cloth diapers and they were hoping to carry a line of infants and toddlers clothing. I talked to him about the organic colorgrown cotton and he was very interested in seeing and possibly carrying some things from Daddy's Little Princess made from those fabrics!

So I've been working on some new designs. So far I have a little blouse and bloomers set. I made it of the natural muslin. It is *so* soft! And I used drawstrings rather than elastic because I can get them made of organic cotton. They are sewn in for safety of course. I'm thinking of adding just a little lace to the set too, but I have to get some more.

To go with it, I'm planning to do one of these sets:

in the green/cream gingham and another cream that has a diagonal texture woven into it. I got buttons made of wood and some of tagua nut so that even they will be completely natural materials.

So, I thought it would be fun to have a contest here in honor of the new line for the Green Plan-It. I will make either a blouse and bloomers set or a little petal dress (the dress only) in your choice of size up to 3T. You just have to be willing to send me your address. Just leave a comment here and I'll enter your name in the drawing. At the end of the week, (on Friday the 12th) I'll put all the names in a hat and let Emilie (my 2 year old) pick one out. If you don't have a little one, you probably know someone who does, to whom you could give these as a gift. Please pass on the link to my blog too!

Just Because - Explanation

2009-06-01T15:57:00.003-05:00

This is what was going on in the "Just Because" picture below. :)
The guys were in the process of building the new swingset and the tube had been assembled but not yet added to the swingset structure. Lissa and Abi climbed inside and Micha started rubbing the outside of the tube to generate static electricity. It made for some pretty interesting pictures. :)

Quick Update of Praise

2009-05-29T07:18:00.002-05:00

I finally got a call back yesterday afternoon from the billing supervisor at the Dr.'s office. She told me that she'd looked into it and they were going to void the bill and resubmit with the correct delivery code and a letter of explanation.

Hooray! God is so good!
Thankyou so much to all of you who were praying!

Some Things You Just Have to Stand Up For

2009-05-28T11:08:00.001-05:00

This is a BABY!

And the induction of labor for a baby is called a delivery - not an abortion!

Last Friday, we received the statement from our insurance about the bill from the Dr. for Savannah's birth. Under "description of service" it said: Abortion. Talk about a kick in the gut!

So I called the Dr's office and asked why. They tried to explain that it was just the "medical term" and I shouldn't be offended. They said that they had no choice but to use the procedure code that they did. It was determined by the American Medical Association, not by them. And that there were additional diagnosis codes that were not shown on that statement that made it clear that it was a stillbirth.

So, I did some research. (Sorry, I'm not a good patient and I don't take everything medical personel say as gospel truth.) We had been looking into switching our health insurance a few months ago. We were going to go with Dean care because they are affiliated with St. Marys - a Catholic pro-life hospital. Mike even called them at the time and verified that they do not do any abortions, have no clinics that provide them, and do not cover them with their insurance. So, I wanted to know if I'd done something wrong to want to hold and see my baby right away. Was that induction truly an abortion?

The Dean people said that there were other codes that a Dr. could choose from. I then looked up Dean OB providers and called up one at random. I asked hypothetically if a woman were in the same position I had been, would that Dr. have done an induction, and if so, how would she have billed it. They assured me that she would have done the same thing, but would have billed it as a "fetal demise" not an "abortion".

So, I did more research, looking up procedure codes and fetal demise. I found out that according to the guidelines written by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, an induction of labor for a fetal demise after 20.0 weeks, is supposed to be billed using delivery codes.

I kept looking for good solid information - from the acog, from the American Academy of Professional Coders, from the Wisconsin Medical Association. I found out the specific code that should have been used and the diagnosis codes to go with it. Then I called the Dr's office back.

They tried again to tell me they had no choice, it was just the way it was. I explained the guidelines. They asked me how far along I was when Savannah died. (Don't they know?! from the records?) I told them she was born at 39.6 weeks and the Dr. estimated she had died 2 -3 days before that.

See, I understand that the medical term for the loss of a pregnancy regardless of whether it's intentional or by natural causes is an abortion. I get that! I may not like it, but I understand it. So if you want to call the death of my daughter within my womb a "spontaneous abortion" - fine. I can handle that.

If you want to call the induction of labor a "treatment for a missed abortion" - even though it doesn't *quite* fit the definition because of the trimester - I can handle that too.

But the PROCEDURE that was performed by that Dr. WAS NOT an Abortion!! Not even in the sense of "terminating the pregnancy". If it was, then inducing labor for a living child should also be termed an abortion, and it's not!

So - the people at the Dr's office said they'd look into it and call me back today. She said she hoped she'd be able to "explain it to me better" then.

Praying I don't lose it with them. I am so tired of dealing with a system that is foundationally anti-life and anti-God.

A Beautiful Memorial Day Weekend Concert

2009-05-28T09:23:00.003-05:00

I got to go to an incredible orchestra concert on Sunday. My friend's daughter plays the cello in the group. :) This orchestra is like nothing you've ever seen before. Most of the time with an orchestra, you have everyone sitting in their chairs with their music stands in front of them - all facing toward the front and center where the conductor stands. Everyone's attention is on the music in front of them and the conductor. There is little movement from the musicians except the bows all in perfect synchonization.

Now imagine you take away the chairs (except for the cellists).
You take away the conductor.
You take away most of the music stands.

You wonder how in the world this is going to work.

Then you see the musicians looking at each other, communicating with their eyes, their bodies, their instruments. You see them breathe together, move expressively together. You see them making eye contact with the people in front of them, around them, even turning around to those behind them sometimes!

It is no longer a group of people playing the music. It is a living, breathing, dancing organism that has *become* the music! Incredible!

How I would love to play in a group like that! I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to see it. :)

Just Because

2009-05-22T12:08:00.001-05:00

Some Enchanted Evening

2009-05-20T10:12:00.003-05:00

Friday was a date night for me and my love. It turned out beautifully and so much fun. The boys helped immensely in getting everything pulled together on short notice - having only come up with the idea that afternoon. I guess I like being spontaneous. ;)
Terran and Jeremi set up the screen tent in the Secret Garden for me and set up the little solar lamps by the entrance - and Terran hung up the moroccan candle lantern for me. It's nice to have tall guys now! :) And we set up a table for two with a vase of lilacs. Mmmm!
I made croissants with garlic butter, picked lettuce from the garden for a tossed salad, made huge calzones and fresh picked asparagus for our meal. Terran made a rhubarb crisp for dessert. Yum!
I made macaroni and cheese for the younger ones' supper and Micha and Jeremi took charge of getting them fed and settled in front of The Princess Bride. When Mike got home, Terran, Jeremi, and I met him at the car. Jeremi grabbed Mike's things to bring into the house for him. Terran was all dressed up and played the part of the waiter. (Terran says, "The things I do for my mother!")
Terran led us to our table in the Secret Garden and brought out the croissants and some sparkling grape juice for our first course. Mike was wonderfully surprised. The weather was perfect. Cool enough to have few bugs, but not too cool. The food was delicious. It was neat to have the lettuce, violets for garnish on the salad, basil in the calzones, asparagus, rhubarb, and spearmint leaves as garnish on the crisp and ice cream - all be from our very own garden. :)
We sat out there for a long time, lingering over each course, and still after the meal, talking about dreams and hopes and plans, looking forward to what God might have planned for us.
So thankful for such beautiful times. God is good!

Hoping to Reap What I Sow

2009-05-15T08:14:00.003-05:00

(credit goes to my husband, Mike for coming up with the title of today's post ;) )

Oh, how I love spring! Everything is turning such an incredible shade of green, the flowers are beginning to bloom, and there is so much work to be done outdoors in the wonderful fresh air! Every year, I've tried planting a garden and some have gone better than others. In general, I seem to learn a little more and do a little better each year. This year, I'm trying a few new things, and have received some huge blessings, and at least so far, I've never seen such beautiful gardens in my yard, ever! God is so good!

First, a friend told me recently about "lasagna gardening". She said she did it last year and was so pleased at what a lovely garden she got out of it. You start by putting down a thick layer of newspaper or cardboard on the ground. (We had plenty of cardboard so that's what I used.) You soak it really really well. Then layer your dirt, manure, compost over the top in raised beds. The cardboard decomposes, letting the roots of the plants through, but not before it's killed off all the weeds and grass that were underneath! Pretty cool! The boys helped me make three beds for vegetables. Tomatoes and sweet peppers are in the first, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, hot peppers, and zucchini are in the second, and the third has pumpkins and beans and peas (by the stick teepees). The tomato cages are here and there to give a place to clothespin a tarp to when needed for occassional cold nights here in Wisconsin. All those beautiful plants were my mother's day presents!!

Then, Mike bought a rototiller for me a few weekends ago. He taught me how to use it and let me do most of it myself! (yes, in a dress! LOL) The boys helped me stake the lines and rake it into furrows. The girls and I planted onions, potatoes, two kinds of sweet corn, and wheat. (The wheat is mostly an experiment. I want to try going through the whole process of growing, harvesting, threshing, grinding, all the way to bread.)

We have many areas on our little farm that we've named. This area, (basically a circle made by four large trees bordered by the woods at the back) we call "the secret garden". ;) As the trees fill out, it'll be more and more enclosed.

Inside the secret garden, is a hook with a HUGE fuschia plant - also a mother's day present! I have neve seen such fascinatingly beautiful flowers! They look like the little fairies in the movie "The Spiderwick Chronicles". On the lower hook (it's very hard to see in the picture) is one of my son Micha's beautiful beaded hummingbirds.

Also in the secret garden, is the little shade flower garden around Savannah's grave. Bleeding hearts and lily of the valley - my absolute favorites. And a new favorite, called a Jack Frost with tiny light blue flowers. The stepping stone was a birthday present from my dear friend, Penny. It says, "Be still and know that I am God". I added some violas and alyssum for now, hoping that the bleeding hearts and lily of the valley will fill it in more and more over the years.

And then, finally, there's the flower garden. :) It was left by the former owners, waist high dried weeds from last year, huge and unruly. A friend suggested I start by breaking it up into smaller sections with paths. We got a huge load of sawdust from the Amish sawmill up the road to use for garden paths (both here and between the raised vegetable beds). Then the kids and I took a section at the time and pulled out everything that looked like just plain grass and quack grass. My friend walked around the garden and identified many of the perennials for me that were starting to come up. Chives and tulips, day lilies and asiatic lilies, sedum and a rose bush, and lots of peonies and columbine! What a wonderful blessing perennials are! I filled it in with some liatris bulbs - then more mother's day presents: spearmint, peppermint, chocolate mint, lavender, celosia, basil, rhubarb - and another friend gave me daffodil bulbs and irises. I went back to our old house and dug up the rhubarb and strawberries I'd left there - and a rose bush that our old neighbor had given me after my third miscarriage (Stephen). Yes, we have more weeding to do ;) but I am so pleased with how it's come together!

When Mike took me to the greenhouse on mother's day, I was fascinated by the miniature gardens they had for sale there. I've collected dollhouse miniatures since I was a little girl so I guess it was natural that I'd love these too. They planted small things like alyssum and little hens and chicks, etc - made paths with tiny rocks like the gravel you can get for fish tanks and added miniature gazebos or arches. So cute! So I decided to use one section of my flower garden for a miniature garden of my own. The little toad house that looks like a stump with a face and the solar light that looks like a rock with snails on top were presents from Mike (the same day he bought the rototiller). There are also two little pretty ceramic mushrooms that poke into the ground. I planted the peppermint and chocolate mint in this area along with a tiny variegated sedum and some hens and chicks - and then surrounded the area with a little "hedge" of alyssum. I'm hoping to get some fish tank gravel and have Terran help me make a little fairy house. (don't mind the rhubarb that was pushed down a bit by the heavy rain we got the night before I took these pictures. ;) They are perking back up now.

That reminds me of my oldest son's comment the other day. :) Just an example of his quirky intelligent sense of humor.

We were standing outside in the garden. One of my new little alyssum plants was a bit squashed. We'd had a big thunderstorm with lots of rain the night before.

Micha asked, "What happened to that one?"

I said, "I think it was just all the heavy waters we got last night."

Micha nods sagely, "Yes, that makes sense. It's probably the deuterium that is so detrimental." I said, "Ok, refresh my memory. What's deuterium?!"

Micha says, "The second isotope of hydrogen."

I said, "And what does the second isotope of hydrogen have to do with the rain we got last night?"

Micha says, "If you make water with the second isotope of hydrogen, you get what's called heavy water." AHHHHHGH!! Gotta love it!

Hope you have a wonderful, super-blessed-by-God day!!!

Contest - not mine :)

2009-05-14T09:33:00.002-05:00

I'm hoping to get a regular blog post up soon with pictures of my gardens. We've been working hard and they are beautiful. :) But in the meantime, I learned of this opportunity this morning and wanted to pass it on. We have the Spanish Rosetta Stone and it is awesome! Here's a chance to win a free copy of the Latin program!!

Rosetta Stone is the fastest way to learn a language and has been the #1 foreign language curriculum among homeschoolers for a while — and you can WIN the *all new* version 3 Rosetta Stone Homeschool LATIN program… FOR FREE! This is the first year you can get Latin in the brand new Version III update.
This is a $259 program (and believe me it’s worth every penny!)This is a computer based curriculum and Rosetta Stone will also include a headset with microphone, and a supplementary “Audio Companion” CD so you can practice lessons in the car, on the go, or where-ever! Students participate in life-like conversations and actually produce language to advance through the program. Rosetta Stone incorporates listening, reading, grammar, vocabulary and writing along with speaking and pronunciation lessons. For parents, the new Parent Administrative Tools are integrated into the program to allow parents to easily enroll up to ten students in any of 12 predetermined lesson plans, monitor student progress, grade completed work (the program grades the work automatically as the students progress- I love that!), and you can view and print reports for transcripts. Homeschooling a lot of kids at your house? This program is designed to enroll and track up to ten students (five users on two computers) and will work for nearly all ages — from beginning readers up to college students.
To win this most excellent Latin program copy these paragraphs and post them in (or as) your next blog post, and/OR link to the contest from your facebook page and/OR email the information to your homeschool support group – Then go to the original page http://Jeneralities.com and leave a comment saying that you’ve posted about, or have linked to, the contest. Please make sure the link works to get back to the original contest page when you post. And good luck!

God's Loving Discipline - And Do or Allow :)

2009-04-29T08:31:00.005-05:00

Someone asked anonymously after a recent post whether God punishes us.
I think she was prompted to ask because I said about my selfish thoughts,
"But does that mean God rejects me and punishes me for it? Absolutely not!"
My anonymous friend asked, "I do have a question: I have felt like I was being punished by God and I have been believing it was from God? If it wasn't God punishing me then what was I feeling? "

My answer would have to be, it's possible that it was God's punishment, but it would depend on the situation. It probably *is* His discipline. There's a difference, though we often don't see it that way.

The Bible tells us that God disciplines His dear children. Hebrews 12 says:

5And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.[a] 7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

In the King James version, the word translated discipline is translated as chastening. We often think of discipline as a parent punishing a child in anger but what does discipline or chastening actually mean?

The greek word in this passage is paideia, from which we get our word pedagogy - teaching - training. We can think of discipline as the making of a disciple. We can think of chastening as making one chaste or holy. Sometimes this teaching or training may take the form of punishment, but that is only one type of discipline and only needed in certain cases. Discipline or chastening are much broader terms. Much more often it is in the form of instruction, encouragement, and direction.

Even in the correction category, there can be a variety of ways this can be shown. As you probably know from your own parenting, different situations and different relationships with our children call for different types of correction. A child who is sitting in your lap and in close relationship with you will likely only need a look or a touch of loving encouragement. He can be disciplined into doing the right thing *before* he actually gets to the point of sinning. (This is the kind of correction I was talking about when I said God held me close while I struggled with my desire to have my own way and why I said He was not punishing or rejecting me.)

A child who is far away from you in heart may need much firmer discipline. A child who is away from you physically has the opportunity to get himself deeper into sin and then the discipline process is more likely to need things like groundings or other forms of punishment. I think it's the same with our relationship with God. The farther one draws away from God, the more likely He may have to give His child a "bop on the head" to get through to them.

Discipline in our language is from the greek word discipulus meaning pupil or disciple. This can be separated from the greek kólasis meaning penal infliction, punishment, and retribution. Paideía and discipulus show more correction, educative discipline.

So then we think of the educative discipline that is teaching a lesson rather than addressing a wrong. For instance, I am disciplined in the art of violin playing, or one can talk about disciplines of science or philosophy. One can be disciplined to run a marathon. Sometimes even these disciplines *hurt*. I think of the sore muscles as one trains to run a marathon or the sore neck and fingers as one practices the violin. I have seen violin players who are actually bleeding from the discipline of playing a lot. These are the chastening processes in which God makes us chaste, holy, purified. When one considers that the purification process for gold or silver includes being put into fire, it's not surprising that pain is involved even though I don't think this kind of purification is done as punishment for specific sin. It does not mean we are out of fellowship with Him. Most of the time it's those who are in deepest fellowship with Him that we see going through those firey times, because God is purifying them and making them more and more like Him.

So if you are His dear child and you are going through difficult times, I would say look around you at your relationship with Him to be able to see whether He is giving you a good bop or if He is purifying you in the fire. And know that either way, He is showing His incredibly wonderful love for you in and through it all!

Which brings us to the question of "do or allow?" When we go through terrible things does that mean God *causes* them in our life or does He *allow* them to happen and it's actually satan, sin, or other people who do them to us? If we lose our home in a fire, did God cause the fire or did He allow a fire that someone else started to burn our home? It is sometimes difficult to think that a truly loving God would cause us pain, and I have found that using the words "do", "cause", or "bring" can make it seem to others that I think God is a judging, punitive God who would destroy a home or kill a child to teach us a lesson. And of course, of course, He is NOT like that.

A few weeks ago my four year old disobeyed and went into the lower level of the barn. While she was there she fell down and cut her finger on who knows what. The cut was not deep and it was washed well, but considering there was the distinct possibility it might have been something rusty, and considering the surety that it was in an area contaminated by animal manure, I felt it would be a good idea to get her into the doctor for a tetanus shot. It was a reminder to me also that I'd been planning to get all the children caught up on their tetanus shots and hadn't done so yet. So I took Amanda over to the clinic and the doctor gave her a shot in the leg.

Now Amanda could look at this situation and say, "I disobeyed and this was my punishment." but that wouldn't be exactly true.

She could say, "That mean old doctor lady hurt me." wouldn't be exactly right either and could lead her heart in the direction of feeling anger and bitterness toward the doctor.

Or she could say, "Mommy took me to the doctor and caused the doctor to give me a shot. Mommy brought this pain to me, but I know without a doubt that Mommy loves me, so this pain must be good somehow."

She doesn't understand what tetanus is. She doesn't understand how a shot that hurts so much can be helpful to her, but she does understand that Mommy loves her very very much, and Mommy would never "cause" or "allow" (however you want to put it) this pain in her life unless it was for a *good* reason.

I find that for me, even if God uses the actions of satan or other people to bring painful times into my life, it helps me to see it as *God's* doing. Then I can direct my heart to God's loving purpose in it rather than getting hung up on what *that person did to me*. This leaves me able to forgive completely and love that person with God's love through me. And this doesn't mean that I am then angry with God. How could I ever be angry with One who loves me SO MUCH!

Even though Job was tempted by satan, he saw God's hand in it all. "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." And I think it was also Job who said, "Though You slay me, yet will I hope in Thee." Even Job's wife saw it as God's doing, though she didn't see it through the eyes of a *loving* God when she told Job to "curse God and die." So I think there is Biblical precedence for seeing our difficult times as coming from God, at least in a sense. But whether you use the words do or allow, the point is that God loves you very very very much and He uses the situations in our lives to teach, to discipline, and to chasten us as His dear children.

Making Chocolate Chip Cookies wth Emilie

2009-04-27T08:35:00.005-05:00

Set the oven to 350 degrees.

Open up a stick of butter and put it in the bowl.

An egg comes next... Wow! You're going to let *me* do it?

Break it into a small bowl so we can fish out any shells and then pour it into the big one.

Next comes brown sugar. If we use a quarter cup, we can count - 1, 2, 3!

Turn on the mixer and mix it all up good.

Add a teaspoon of vanilla, a teaspoon of baking soda and a pinch of salt.

Flour's next - count the quarter cups, 1,2,3,4,5! Then turn on the mixer and mix it up again.

Scrape down the sides of the bowl and stir in half a bag of chocolate chips.

Use the scoop to put the cookies on the pan. 4 rows of 3 cookies equals 12 yummy cookies!

And the baker gets to lick the spoon!
Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown and not too gooey in the middle.

Repeat with whatever dough is left in the bowl.

Enjoy!!

A Beautiful Birthday

2009-04-26T09:25:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday. :) The girls started a few weeks ago asking several times a day, "Mom, what do you want for your birthday?" Finally I got fed up and made a list of things I might enjoy receiving for my birthday - anything and everything from the impossible (a plane ticket and car rental to visit my dear friend) to the simple (hugs and kisses from sweet little girls). One of the things I put on the list and had thought to be in the impossible category, was a lesson in music mixing from a producer. Mike found out that the son of one of his co-workers had a degree in music production and he arranged for him to come over for a lesson on Monday night! It was wonderful and I learned so much. He also played a mini-concert on his guitar for our family. We're talking about lessons for one of our sons. (I'm hoping he will learn enough to teach me a bit too.) ;)

Yesterday morning, I asked Mike to let me come along with him when he went into town. There had been a rummage sale in the paper that had looked interesting and I figured we could kill two birds with one stone. It was pouring rain, so I figured if it was cancelled, we wouldn't have wasted a second trip, and if it wasn't cancelled, I just might have the pick of the crop with fewer sale-ers braving the rain. :) As we drove past, we saw a woman carrying some things back out of the driveway into the house, so we almost didn't stop, thinking they were closing up shop. After some discussion, we decided to go back and check it out anyway. Mike was going to wait in the van. He was the sane one, not wanting to go out in the pouring rain for nothing. LOL

I wound my way up the driveway and onto the porch where they had set some things out of the rain. There I found a sweet older lady who started chatting. I asked her about the fabric that I'd seen specifically mentioned in the paper. She said that her friend who was bringing the fabric was running late. She took down my name and number to call me when she got there and asked if I lived very far away. I said no, just outside of town, and I told her the street corner we lived on. Her eyes lit up. "You're the ones who bought our old house!" she exclaimed. She called her husband and introduced him and as we talked and talked, Mike realized it would be a long wait in the car and came up to join us. :) They invited us in and we had an incredibly lovely visit. Her husband told Mike many stories about our house's history. J and I talked about gardening and children and sewing. The fabric lady arrived and turned out to be another lovely new friend, who apparently lives just up the road from us. I bought tons of her fabric including some green velvet and a gorgeous pendleton wool that she'd picked up when they were in Scotland! All for $1 a yard! Plus she promised me her leftovers after the rummage sale was over. :) They were all believers and it was wonderful to hear their speech peppered with "Lord willing" - "He said he was praying about it" - "God did this in our lives" etc. What a wonderful time of fellowship! We were so glad we'd stopped!

Then we went out for lunch at a neat little diner nearby called Maggie Mae's Cafe. http://www.maggiemaecountry.com/bio.html

I had their spaghetti special which came with a piece of pie for dessert. I chose apple with a scoop of butter pecan icecream on top. :) Mike had a patty melt. Maggie was there but she wasn't singing. I finally asked our waitress as she brought my dessert if Maggie might be persuaded to sing. Mike piped up and told her it was my birthday. :) So Maggie and the whole diner sang happy birthday to me. LOL Another lady admitted it was her birthday too so we sang to her as well. And then Maggie gave a little concert of country songs which was really neat. :)

The first song was Louisiana Saturday Night and I had to laugh at some of the lyrics I'd never heard clearly before. :)

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow,

Kick off your shoes and you throw ‘em on the floor.

Dance in the kitchen 'til the morning light:

Louisiana Saturday night.

Waiting in the front yard, sitting on a log;

Single shot rifle and a one-eyed dog.

Yonder come my kin folk in the moonlight:

Louisiana Saturday night.

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow

Kick off your shoes and you throw ‘em on the floor

Dance in the kitchen 'til the morning light

Louisiana Saturday night

My brother Bill an' my other brother Jack,

Belly full o'beer and a possum in a sack.

Fifteen kids in the front porch light

Louisiana Saturday night!

When the kinfolk leave an' the kids get fed,

Me an' my woman gonna slip off to bed.

Have a little fun when we turn out the lights!

Louisiana Saturday night!

Well, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow,

Kick off your shoes and you throw ‘em on the floor.

Dance in the kitchen 'til the morning light:

Louisiana Saturday night.

Yeah, you get down the fiddle and you get down the bow,

Kick off your shoes and you throw ‘em on the floor.

Dance in the kitchen 'til the morning light:

Louisiana Saturday night.

Yup. Most of that sounds like a really good day to me too. :)

We stopped on the way home at a couple of stores and we bought a new bird house. I love bird houses, and we've found that as long as we keep the feeder filled, we have TONS of birds here who are bold enough to come very close to the house. The new birdhouse looks like a huge pinecone with a pretty red cardinal sitting on top. So pretty!

So we came home and Terran made a pair of delicious carrot cakes. He even tried the candied carrot roses Jewels mentioned on her blog a long time ago. Unfortunately it wasn't the season for mint leaves, but it was wonderful even with just the roses. He was so funny. He said that one of the cakes had a corner that broke when he tipped it out of the pan - but you can cover a lot with frosting. Of course it can look like a perfect cake on the outside, but when you cut into it you find out the truth! LOL (Not that some of the kids minded!)

The girls made presents for me and I opened them after cake too. Manda created a beautiful painted paper birthday cake on a paper plate.

Abigail drew a BIG picture of a beautiful girl she said was named "Julia" and made me a purple

finger knitted necklace and bracelet.

And Lissa and Juli embroidered a pretty fabric square to say "World's Best Mom".

I am so very blessed.

Then, on top of everything else, I found out last night that my name request at "To Write Their Names In the Sand" had been finished and posted.

http://namesinthesand.blogspot.com/2009/04/savannah-rose-kaether.html

What a beautiful gift from God!

Where Have You Been?

2009-04-22T08:28:00.005-05:00

I'm as amazed as anyone that two weeks have gone by since I last posted. How in the world did that happen? Thankyou so much to those of you who wrote and asked how I was doing. God has been so good to me and to my family. There are of course easier days and harder days, but the harder days are less often and they're becoming more moments than days.
We've been so very busy here in the last few weeks.

What have we been doing?

... sewing lots of Easter dresses

...cleaning up the yard and preparing the earth for planting the seedlings we started indoors

... building the coolest swingset ever!

...the boys were such a huge help to their Dad in getting it put together

... getting Savannah's stone set by her grave. Mr. Bookmeier did such a beautiful job on it!

and recording songs...

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/ThroughGodsEyes.mp3

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/GiveMeAGlimpse.mp3

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/IAmHere.mp3

(I can't promise any of them are the final final version, but they're getting closer.)

Jesus Wept

2009-04-06T16:06:00.003-05:00

John 11:35 - the shortest verse in the Bible - Jesus wept.

Friday I cried. It was a pretty rough day, emotionally. I felt like I couldn't stop crying. Yet, when it came down to it, it wasn't grieving for Savannah that caused the pain. It was an all out, little whiny baby fit, and I knew it. I wanted what I wanted so bad, and I knew the answer was no or not right now, but I didn't want to accept it. I knew that the only way to have peace was to get back into that place of trust, to accept God's will for my life, and I kept telling God that I wanted to but I just couldn't. Yet I knew that the truth was more that I wouldn't. Yes, it was so incredibly hard - yes all my wants were natural, normal, legitimate in the world's eyes things, but that didn't make them any less full of self. So I cried. And Jesus held me, even as I continued to try to push Him away. As if I could actually go off on my own, get control over my emotions, and then come back to His presence. Ha! Eventually the tears stopped and I was ready to get back up and walk along His path, however long it might be til His not now became a now. (I was still struggling with giving over enough to accept an all out no. LOL)

At one point during that night, I looked in the mirror and what I saw scared me. I saw eyes that were dull and dead. I saw where holding onto my wants would lead - a place of bitterness and pain. I looked into the abyss and I didn't like what I saw. I worried that I was a total hypocrite writing the things I've written here about God's grace and peace, His love and sovereignty while allowing myself to give into the doubt and selfishness all that day. And I cried out for God to help me to trust Him and to give me His joy. I had some wonderful prayer warrior friends praying for me too. And peace came. God is so good!

I had a wonderful talk with a friend of mine today. We were discussing whether thoughts and emotions like fear and sadness were wrong. She was concerned that if God considered my emotions on Friday to be *sin* that that would mean He was not a loving, compassionate, understanding God. I think that the problem is that we don't like the word sin. It's an uncomfortable word, for sure. We tend to think that when we sin, God will (and should) punish us. But if the definition of sin is anything that is not born of faith, then, yes, those thoughts of mine were sin. And even if one is of the opinion that the thought itself is not sin, but hanging onto it is - I stand guilty as charged. But does that mean God rejects me and punishes me for it? Absolutely not!

I have often said that we don't need to *do* all the "right" things, act the right way etc. in our own strength. It will never work. All God wants from us is to *love Him* with all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength. Just love Him, be with Him, stay in Him, and He will work all those things out within us and grow us to be more like Him - all Him living through us.

What I wasn't taking into account, and where my friend was so incredibly right to point out to me today, was that it is the same with our thoughts and emotions, not just our actions. Instead of crying out, "Lord, I believe! Help, thou my unbelief!" I was trying to put on the mind of Christ in my own strength. Perhaps God allowed the down time, even knowing that I would fall, to teach me that even taking my thoughts captive is not something that I can ever do - but something that Jesus must do through me as I just tuck into Him under His wings
- and sometimes
let the tears flow
while never letting go
of Him.

Story for a Song - Brook of Kidron

2009-04-02T08:56:00.003-05:00

I thought I'd post another song story today.

This song was written while we were stationed in Connecticut. The church we went to while we were there asked me to do "special music" for an upcoming service. The sermon was to be based on 2 Chron. 29, where King Hezekiah takes the throne and cleanses the temple. As I read through the passage, I was struck by the verse that said they took all the abominations - everything unclean - and threw them into the brook of Kidron.

16And the priests went into the inner part of the house of the LORD, to cleanse it, and brought out all the uncleanness that they found in the temple of the LORD into the court of the house of the LORD. And the Levites took it, to carry it out abroad into the brook Kidron.

I started looking for whatever information I could find on the Brook of Kidron, and found this:

It is described by Smith this way (Hist. Geog., p. 511): "To the north of Jerusalem begins the torrent-bed of the Kidron. It sweeps past the Temple Mount, past what were afterward Calvary and Gethsemane. It leaves the Mount of Olives and Bethany to the left, Bethlehem far to the right. It plunges down among the bare terraces, precipices, and crags of the wilderness of Judea-- the wilderness of the scapegoat. So barren and blistered, so furnace-like does it [the valley] become as it drops below the level of the sea, that it takes the name of Wady-en-Nar or the Fire Wady. At last its dreary course brings it to the precipices above the Dead Sea, into which it shoots its scanty winter waters; but all summer it is dry."

What a neat word picture! I imagined the Israelites taking all their unclean things and hurling them into this (perhaps at that moment) dry valley, knowing that in the winter, the rushing waters would shoot through and wash them all away into the Dead Sea. (What a fitting place!)
I imagined myself, standing in that brook, scary as it might seem, but knowing that God was using it as a place of cleansing - and that His waters would wash away all the unclean self-filled things in me.

Here is the link to the song: (remember to stop the blog music before listening if you bring it up in a new window) http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/brookofkidron.mp3

and here are the words:

Brook of Kidron

chorus: I stand in the Brook of Kidron
Where You purify me, Lord.
The boiling, churning waters 'round me teem.
Raindrops falling all around me
As Your cleansing on me pours.

vs. 1 Your Word says, "Be, thou holy, as I am"
And so I try to be good, but no one can.
Then I hear Your voice so still,
Saying, "Trust Me and I will...
I will bring about in you, My perfect plan."

repeat chorus:

vs.2 This valley seems to be filled so full of sin.
A place of filth, where the dryness is sure to win.
Lord, I long to see Your face!
Send Your tidal waves of grace
So my filth is swept away and I'm cleansed again!

repeat chorus:

bridge: My hands are clean and I hold them high!
My heart is pure and my spirit cries...

repeat chorus:

vs 3: Man whitewashes, but Your blood washes white.
And though Your storm can be an overwhelming sight,
Won't You wash away my sin,
Make this temple pure within.
A place where You can dwell both day and night.

repeat chorus...

Let Me Do It Myself

2009-03-31T07:32:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago I started to realize just how much I'd slipped. :)
When the big boys were little, they were in the kitchen with me from the time they were born practically. I have pictures of Micha in the front pack at a few months old while I was baking. Terran, at the age of two was taking the measuring cup with me to dump into the bowl and counting with me, one, two, three...
At the age of four, he was baking cookies, brownies, etc with me just telling him step by step what to do.
By six, he was reading the recipes on his own and making those things.
And by 8 or so, he was making anything he wanted.
And he was so good in the kitchen, that somehow I failed to train any of his siblings to come after him! How did that happen?

So, I pulled Terran aside one day and asked for his help to start training. I was so blessed to have him bring me these pictures later in the day. He'd taken 4 year old Amanda under his wing, read the directions on a brownie mix box to her and let her do almost *everything* by herself. (I think he might have helped a little with the eggs, but I'm not sure.)

Amanda stirring up the brownies -

Spreading it into the pan that she'd greased - (we didn't have a square pan the right size.) Obviously she'd been licking the bowl already. :)

Ready to go into the oven -

Terran helps Amanda put the brownies into the oven -

The timer is set and the brownies baking. (This was when our oven was out of commission for a while, hence the toaster oven.) The house smells divinely of chocolate!

Amanda is so proud of herself! The brownies look wonderful!

Squeezing out the packet of frosting -

Spreading out the frosting -

So yummy! And she did it (almost) all by herself!

Spring Came to Play

2009-03-27T10:17:00.003-05:00

They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Here in Wisconsin it's more like March comes in like a lion and then it has multiple personality disorder, switching constantly back and forth from lion to lamb to lion... and it's anyone's guess as to which one it will go out like. LOL

Yesterday afternoon was gorgeous, sunny and 50 degree weather. The children so enjoyed getting outside and enjoying the day!

One of my friends recently made the comment that spring looks like a slightly paler version of fall at this point in the year.

It certainly looked like fall, with the boys raking leaves yesterday. :)

Micha, Terran, and Jeremi all actually let me take their pictures!!

Their raking uncovered beautiful signs of spring!!! I love seeing the green things starting to come up!

The girls enjoyed getting to go out and play too.

Lissa, giving her doll, Rosemary a ride in the swing. :)

Juli and Emi talking on the front porch step. (Emilie's photogrey glasses get SO dark in the sunlight!)

Abigail in a tree. Hmm, seems similar to another picture I have posted of her recently, now that I think about it. :)

Amanda blowing bubbles...

... and Julihannah catching them!

We're supposed to get another 5 inches of snow this weekend but I've been hearing a pretty little cardinal singing it's gorgeous little song right outside my window most every morning for the last couple of weeks. So real spring is coming soon!

Thank God for glimpses of what's to come!

Recorded Savannah's Song - updated

2009-03-24T19:43:00.002-05:00

Draft number 2 is done with much improvement. :)
(make sure you pause the music on the blog at the right before opening the link. They don't go well together LOL)
http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/throughgodseyes2.mp3

At least a decent first draft. :)
click here to listen, if you like:
http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/throughgodseyes.mp3

Watching for the Morning

2009-03-19T08:17:00.002-05:00

I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.
My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Ps. 130:5-6

While I was in labor with Savannah, I shared with my friend, Jewels that I was remembering another labor.

When I had my Emilie, I labored all night long. She was not in a good position for birth so I had problems with uneven dilation and double and triple peak contractions. And it just kept on going. and going. Until the early hours of the morning, when suddenly she was here!

As I lay in the bed with her after she'd taken her first breath and snuggled in to nurse like a champion, the verse came to mind,

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning"! (Ps. 30:5)

I told Jewels that I knew the morning *would* come this time too, but that I thought it would take a lot longer.

Am I still waiting for the morning? Yes, and no.

I've seen so many glimpses of God's sunlight, felt so much joy in my heart, I can't really say that I haven't seen the morning.

Yet at the same time, I've felt such deep sorrow, cried out in such pain, how could this not still be the night?

Are the glimpses of the sun mere mirages?

No, I think that in this life, it is as it is in this natural world. Day follows night follows day. There will be times of joy and times of sorrow times of smiles and times of tears. I guess it's no different than what Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes - there is a time for everything.

I live my life trusting that the day will come again - both the day here in this life and the DAY of eternity.

Yet, it's not just the hope of a better tomorrow that keeps me going, it is knowing that even in the darkness, God is here - loving me - holding me - letting me cry - and then exchanging my thoughts for His. I suppose I could hang onto the pain and let it turn into bitterness, and for a moment - less than a moment - I think about living in a place that cries "Why me?" "Where is God?" And the darkness is more than I can bear. I *must* take those thoughts captive. I *must* say thankyou to my dear Heavenly Daddy for allowing even this. And then He once again takes my hand, leads me a little further down the path, and points me to the dawn.

One of the passages that God has made so dear to me recently is Psalm 42:7-8

Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me. The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.

I love that! All YOUR breakers and YOUR waves - none of this is a surprise to God. They are His breakers and waves, allowed in my life for His wonderful purpose!

The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime - His mercies truly are new every morning!

And His song will be with me in the night - But even in the night, when the sorrow rolls over me - once again, He is here - singing His lullabye of love - over His dear child!

God gave me a new song yesterday that fits this so well:

I Am Here

When my heart is overwhelmed, and I've never felt such fear,

Never seen such darkness, never cried so many tears -

When I cannot feel Your hand and my heart cries, "Where is God?"

Then I hear Your still, small voice say,

"I am here."

And in the night, Your song sings over me -

Quietly - Gently -

Your love surrounding me,

And peace, like gentle rain, soaks into my soul.

My soul waits for the morning.

I trust there will be a morning,

But even in the night, Your song sings,
"I am here."

When the path on which You've led me is anything but clear -

So infused with danger, so devoid of cheer -

When I look at what's around me, and my heart cries, "Lord, why me?"

Then I hear your still, small voice say,

"I am here."

And in the night, Your song sings over me -
Quietly - Gently -
Your love surrounding me,
And peace, like gentle rain, soaks into my soul.
My soul waits for the morning.
I trust there will be a morning,
But even in the night, Your song sings, "I am here."

For now I see dimly, as in a poor mirror

But one day, Your truth I will view.

In faith, I will listen to Your voice, so dear

And trust You whatever You do.

For even in the night, Your song sings over me -
Quietly - Gently -
Your love surrounding me,
And peace, like gentle rain, soaks into my soul.
My soul waits for the morning.
I trust there will be a morning,
But even in the night, Your song sings, "I am here."

When God Closes a Door...

2009-03-16T16:55:00.003-05:00

When God closes a door, He opens a window. Or so goes the saying.

I'd say rather, when He says "no", it's because He has something even better in mind!

When my milk came in a few days after Savannah's birth, I thought I'd like to donate milk to the local milk bank, if there was one.

I checked the internet, and made some phone calls, and waited for someone to call me back. It turned out there was a milk "depot" in Madison, about an hour away. ( A drop off point for the actual milk "bank" which was in Ohio.)

So, the lady from Ohio eventually called me back and seemed very interested - until she started asking the screening questions. Everything went well until, "Have you ever lived outside the United States?"

Um, yes. My husband was in the Navy and we spent four years stationed in Sicily. Unfortunately it was during a certain period of time that made my milk unacceptable.

Apparently it's because of mad cow disease.

I researched it, and it turns out that although there is NO evidence that CJD (the human version of mad cow disease) is transmissable from mother to child through her milk - or any other way, there is a *theoretical* risk.

So because we lived in Europe during a time when I *might* have been exposed to mad cow disease,

even though I certainly don't have the disease

and even though I've had SIX babies since then who have thrived on my milk,

they couldn't accept it.

I cried. I'll admit it. :)

But then, my midwife "happened" to call

and she just "happened" to mention

that she just "happened" to be leaving the house of a dear lady

who just "happened" to have a 6 week old baby

and just "happened" to have recently found out that she (the mother) has breast cancer.

God said no to the milk bank, but said yes to something far better.

An opportunity to not only share my milk with someone in need but to get to know a dear, sweet lady -

shared faith -

mutual encouragement -

I've been praying for lots of milk for baby Gretta and God is providing.

This is my second week pumping. The first week, I got four little jars - two of them half full.

This week, it's 11 jars - one of them double size!!

God is so good!

I'll See a Wonderland of White

2009-03-15T16:30:00.004-05:00

Last Sunday afternoon - into night we had a big snow storm.

As I watched the snow come down, once again, that song God gave me a few weeks ago sang over and over in my head.

Let the storm rage all around, I'll see the snow fall gently down,

I'll see a wonderland of white

A place of beauty, shining bright

and I'll trust - and I'll praise -

and I'll choose to see my life, through God's eyes...

This incredibly beautiful picture is what I awoke to find the next morning - truly a wonderland of white and a place of beauty, shining bright!

What an awesome thing to be able to see what God is making through the storm both around me and within me ...

Enchanted Tea Party

2009-03-12T17:21:00.002-05:00

There is an enchanted garden in our house. It isn't usually there.
But once in a great while, when you least expect it,
the "fairies" magically make the garden appear
just for a little while
and then just as magically, it's gone. :)

It is only there when the "fairy heart" is on the door
and even then, you dare not go in without an invitation,
or they will make it disappear again and maybe not come back for a long time. :)

going up the magical mountain where the roses grow upside-down ;)

the fairy heart is on the door! and we have our invitations!

surprise!

flowers all around and a tea party laid out for us!

The girls are so excited!

biscuits and jam for lunch - yum!

(ok, so it's not that healthy, but after all, it's not every day you're invited to a fairy tea party!)

prettiest dresses and best behaviour. :) And peanut butter cookies for dessert.

It was a lovely party. Thankyou, fairies, for inviting us.

Then, time for nap.

And the enchanted garden has disappeared again.

Until next time...

Savannah's Story - part 4 (the end for now)

2009-03-11T09:07:00.007-05:00

To start with part one of Savannah's Story, go here: http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/savannahs-story-part-1.html

page 23
Certificate from the hospital:
In Memory of Savannah Rose Kaether
the 28th day of February, 2009
at 12:40 o'clock pm.
Our wonderful nurse, Mary signed it - and Mike signed as the "attending physician"
(after all, he did "catch" LOL)

My favorite picture of Savannah :) She was so beautiful!

page 24
In faith that she did hear and believe God's Word, we baptized Savannah and committed her spirit to God's loving care.

Savannah Rose Kaether - I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

The hospital gave us a certificate of blessing. It says: Almighty and eternal God, we commend this child to Your loving care. Bless the parents and comfort them now and always. Amen

page 25
God kept showing us His hand and His love in all the little details along the way...

~ Mike had to work and stay overnight in Oshkosh Thursday night the 26th. So when we had the choice as to whether to go to a hospital 30 minutes south or to one 40 minutes north-east, the one 40 minutes north-east was closer in Mike's direction. That turned out to be the hospital where Chris (my midwife) knew the nursing staff and knew it would be a good place, a safe place.

~ We had just decided to cancel our health insurance because of UW Health's plans to start a new clinic offering late term abortions. (Our Unity health insurance is owned by UW Health.) Because of the timing of when we put in our request, we still had health insurance through the end of February. Savannah Rose was born February 28th.

~ Over and over in the last weeks of my pregnancy, the date February 25th kept coming up. My best friend mentioned that her birthday was February 25th. I had thought at that point how neat it would be if my baby was born on her birthday, especially if it turned out to be a girl because her oldest daughter was named Anna Rose and I had thought I would call Savannah 'AnnaRose for short. Soon after that, Mike mentioned that his brother, Bob's birthday was February 25th. A few days later I was talking to my sister-in-law, Rachael, and she suggested that her birthday would be a good day to have our baby. Her birthday was February 25th. When talking to one of my Hearthkeeper friends, she suggested that I might not have that long to wait. Her mother's due date had been March 1st, just like mine, but she had been born February 25th.

February 25th was the last day I know I felt my baby move.

~ Savannah Rose kept turning breech and sideways during the last weeks. When we went into the hospital, we were pretty sure she was still breech (we were thankfully wrong) and so I expected I'd need a c-section. I "just happened" to not eat breakfast that day. I simply hadn't been hungry. So there was no concern about the possibility of surgery.

~ God led us in miraculous ways to buy this house and land this year. I have never seen Him move and open doors so quickly and so wide. Because He did, we have a place that is our own, where we can bury Savannah on our own land.

~ In one of the dreams I had while I was pregnant, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My mom was there. In the dream, there was a chart with all of the children's names, birth dates, weights, etc. Down the lefthand side, they were labled with letters rather than numbers, A,B,C, etc. I noticed when we wrote down Savannah Rose's name that the letter in front of her name was an S. I was confused as half-awake, I told Mike my dream and said, it must not be *this* baby. It must be in the future. But S was quite a ways off! Could I really even have that many children? It wasn't until the next day, when I thought back on the dream and counted out what number corresponded with the letter S, that I realized why my mom was in the dream. It was *her* chart. S is the 19th letter of the alphabet. And Savannah would have been my mom's 19th grandchild. We were so sure that the baby was going to be Sean Wilmer. Even the ultrasound tech thought she saw a boy! But God knew and showed me ahead of time that our baby was a girl - our Savannah Rose!

page 26
MORE of God's hand!

~ Saturday, a week before Savannah was born, I sat down at the piano and God gave me a song. I called Cheri and she helped me work out the first verse to go with the chorus I’d already written. It was so much fun collaborating. When I wrote about God’s comfort, I thought it was for things like plumbing problems, the washing machine dying, the oven dying, financial worries, etc. I had no idea that God had a much deeper meaning in mind and that that song would sustain me through labor and birth and in the days to come.

~ The hospital experience was so much better than any hospital experience in my lifetime. During my other hospital births, I found myself surrounded by people who had no place for God. *They* had to be in control, to be able to cover themselves in this day of litigation. Labor had to follow a normal timeline or there would be extreme pressure to augment my labor with medications to hurry things up. This time was incredibly different. Every single one of the nursing staff shared our faith and talked openly about God. It really was a safe place.

~ The only exception to the good hospital experience was the doctor himself. He was very annoying, making comments about how we had good “coping mechanisms”, suggesting that if we were to ever get pregnant again that we could have testing done early enough to have “options”. And that we knew what “he would do” but he felt that we were “mature enough to make our own decisions about that.” He just didn’t get it. But God was kind and kept him *out* almost completely. We saw him at the very beginning for a bit, he stopped in for just a moment in the middle, and then he came back for just a short time after everything was all over. He was not there when Savannah was born, praise the Lord. It was just Mike and me and the nurse, Pam. And *Mike* was the one who delivered Savannah Rose!

~ On Sunday morning, the day after Savannah’s birth, our home church service was absolutely incredible. Every single verse was perfectly suited and full of comfort and the reminder that God was in control and loved us so much!

~ My friend Tamara suggested that I should go back and read my One Year Bible for the day that Savannah was born. God knows that the most important comfort I need in this time is the absolute knowledge that my little one is in heaven. The New Testament reading included one of the verses that was so dear to me, proving that little ones *can* have saving faith. Mark 9:42 “And if anyone causes one of these little one who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” These Little Ones Who BELIEVE In Me.. And since babies in utero can hear, and the Bible says that “Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God”, and I know that Savannah heard God’s Word - I have faith that Savannah did have saving faith in her Lord, Jesus Christ and I WILL see her in heaven again one day.

page 27
One of my favorite pictures - Savannah's tiny little hand. So incredibly precious!

I printed out the lyrics of Mercy Me's song, Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

page 28
I used a piece of black construction paper for the background and included a photo that the nurse took of Mike, me, and Savannah. Mike put a charcoal drawing effect on it, which I love.
I also took a picture of candles lit in a dark room.

You know, this road is one that I had thought about and never thought I'd be able to walk. Yet, God has me here and by His grace I'm walking. And it's not the place of utter darkness that I'd imagined. It's more like the darkness of a deep forest where the light comes filtering in every once in a while, illuminating one little patch of incredible beauty.

I’ve always believed that the best way to evangelize is to simply live our faith out loud in front of the people around us, until one day, they come to a point where they say, “I want what you have” and then we are ready with an answer for the hope that we have. I think maybe that’s why God brings times of deepest darkness into our lives - so that the light that is in us will shine all the more brightly. No one is quick to notice when a candle is lit in the daytime, but when it shines out in the night, they can’t help but notice.

page 29
Another beautiful picture of the three of us together.
Savannah's obituary which was in the paper.

Savannah Rose Kaether
Savannah Rose Kaether, beloved daughter of Mike and Heidi Kaether, was born still at 12:40 pm on Saturday, February 28, 2009 at Berlin Memorial Hospital in Berlin, Wisconsin.
Memorial services will be held on (Saturday, March 7, 2009) at the Kaether’s home in Westfield, Wisconsin. A visitation / open house will be held from (1-3 p.m.) with a private graveside service for the immediate family to follow at (4 p.m.) with Rev. Christopher Cook officiating. The Steinhaus-Holly Funeral Home in Westfield is assisting the family.
Savannah is loved and missed by her parents; Mike and Heidi, her brothers and sisters; Michael, Terran, Jeremiah, Elisabeth, Julihannah, Abigail, Amanda, and Emilie, Grandparents; Lynn and Becky Gartman, Tacoma, WA and Karen and Kasey Fiske, Sauk City, WI, Great Grandparents; Bob Johnson, (?), and Ruth Rosenow, Puyallup, WA, as well as many aunts, uncles, great aunts, great uncles, cousins, and many many friends.
We are blessed to know that Savannah’s life and death have touched hundreds and thousands of people all over the world and drawn precious hearts to the Lord. We live in the hope that we will meet again one day at Jesus feet. Psalm 22:10 “From my mother’s womb, You have been my God.”

page 30 (last page - although I may add more later)

picture of Savannah's empty bed with the gorgeous Project Linus quilt we were given at the hospital.

And although we miss Savannah ...

We know that she is in heaven

Standing in the light of God's glory

Waiting for us to come home...

(The picture is yet another story. Mike and I found it at the furniture store where we went to buy a cedar chest to keep baby things in. I had imagined Savannah Rose with light brown hair, even before she was born, and the picture just seemed so exactly *her*, that we bought it. It's hanging in our upstairs hallway. Then, talk about neat! - Mike and his brother, Bob re-created the heart shaped wreath that is hanging on the door in that picture for us to hang on our door!)

So - that's Savannah's story - although there will surely be more to write along the way as God continues to lead us along the path that He has laid out for us...

Savannah's Story - Part 3

2009-03-10T12:19:00.004-05:00

To start with part one of Savannah's Story, go here:
http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/savannahs-story-part-1.html

page 15
Hundreds and thousands of people all around the world were lifting us before the throne.

I printed out some of the messages of love and prayers and pasted them into the book

page 16
Yet another page of messages from loving wonderful people. It would take the whole book to include all the notes I received. So caring. So kind.

Hundreds of messages of love and prayer at my Habakkuk 3 blog, Jewels' Eyes of Wonder blog, on Hearthkeepers, on Facebook, through MOMYS, and by email were such a blessing - assuring me that we were not alone...

page 17
After laboring through the night and four doses of cytotec, baby seemed to really be taking his time still.

I decided to move on to pitocin.

I printed out the update that Jewels posted on her Eyes of Wonder blog.

page 18
Two of my favorite hymns, both of which I've taught my children to sing in three or four part harmony over the years.

Abide with me, fast falls the eventide.
The darkness deepens, Lord, with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day.
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away.
Change and decay in all around I see.
Oh, Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who but Thyself my guide and stay can be?
In cloud and sunshine, oh, abide with me?

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes.
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven's morning breaks and earth's vain shadows flee.
In life, in death, oh Lord, abide with me!

I am Jesus' little lamb.
Ever glad at heart I am.
For my Shepherd gently guides me,
Knows my needs and well provides me,
Loves me every day the same.
Even calls me by my name.

Day by day at home, away
Jesus is my staff and stay.
When I hunger, Jesus feeds me,
Into pleasant pastures leads me.
When I thirst, He bids me go
Where the quiet waters flow.

Who so happy as I am,
Even now the Shepherd's lamb.
And when my short life is ended,
By His angel hosts attended,
He shall fold me to His breast
Safely in His arms to rest.

God's peace has been with us so much in this time. Often it's a peace that can be felt, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes it is a peace that is only known. I KNOW God is in control, I KNOW that He loves me and has a beautiful purpose and plan that He is working out in all this. I KNOW that He is here holding us in the palm of His hand. And sometimes when I don't FEEL it, the just knowing has to be enough.

page 19
A beautiful Anne Geddes picture I found on the internet. I've always loved her photography of babies. :)

Over and over as I labored, God reminded me that we were in His hands. And because of His sovereignty and His love, we were right where we belonged...

He has bound his own hands in order that He might be glorified through His people

God gave me a song a week before Savannah was born.

It was so much fun collaborating with Cheri (my sister) over the phone to write the verse to go with the chorus that I had.

I had no idea, when I wrote that song, just how fitting it would be - how the words would echo again and again through my brain sustaining and comforting...

Page 20
The words of that song. (someday soon, I'll record it so that I can share the music too.)

Through God's Eyes (Savannah's Song)

Lord, I'm here. Right where I belong.
Where my Daddy holds me tight
And He wipes away my tears
And tells me that I'm precious in His sight.
Let the storm rage all around,
I'll see the snow fall gently down.
I'll see a wonderland of white,
A place of beauty shining bright.
And I'll trust -
And I'll praise -
And I'll choose to see my life through God's eyes.

Looking around, I could say nothing's going my way.
But I can't let my heart go to those dark places.
I will direct my eyes to the beauty that You're making.
So much higher are Your ways!
I will lift my hands and praise!

That's when I know I'm here - right where I belong.
Where my Daddy holds me tight
And He wipes away my tears
And tells me that I'm precious in His sight.
Let the storm rage all around.
I'll see the snow fall gently down.
I'll see a wonderland of white,
A place of beauty shining bright.
And I'll trust -
And I'll praise -
And I'll choose to see my life through God's eyes.

Every moment of every day, You're teaching me Your ways.
And You work all things for my good in every situation.
Give my doubting heart the faith
To see the picture that You're painting.
Give me eyes to truly see.
Put Your song of praise in me!

For that's when I know I'm here - right where I belong.
Where my Daddy holds me tight.
And He wipes away my tears
And tells me that I'm precious in His sight.
Let the storm rage all around,
I'll see the snow fall gently down.
I'll see a wonderland of white,
A place of beauty shining bright.

And I'll trust -
And I'll praise -
For I love watching You work out Your ways.
I know that You love me.

And I'll choose to see my life
Through God's eyes!

page 21
Finally - finally -
The contractions became stronger.

I began to be fearful how much longer I could bear it.

When the nurse checked and said I was 6 cm, I was sure we had a LONG way to go.

I usually stay at 6 for a long, long time.

So when she suggested calling the doctor, I said no.

God was SO good to me!

In the next contraction my water broke,

And in the next contraction, I birthed into Mike's own hands

not the Sean Wilmer we'd expected

but our sweet

Savannah Rose

One of the pictures Mike took of Savannah Rose in the Christening gown that each of our children has worn. She was so very tiny - just 4 lbs 15 oz. There was no obvious reason except perhaps the fact that her placenta, too was very small. Perhaps it just wasn't able to sustain her. Only God knows.

The quote at the top is part of a song that Mike mentioned whenever we talked about what we'd name this baby if it were a girl. It's from that old movie, Savannah Smiles

"When Savannah smiles, I hear someone saying, 'hey, loser, you just won.' When Savannah smiles those grey clouds start to prayin', 'bring on the sun'. Music, sweet music, lifts my soul, sets it free. Everything is fine every single time Savannah smiles at me. Oh smile, Savannah, just one more time for me."

Oh, how I look forward to the day when I will see Savannah's sweet smile. I know she is smiling now. :)

Tiny footprints and a lock of hair - light brown, like my Julihannah's.

Go on to part four of Savannah's Story: http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/page-23-certificate-from-hospital-in.html

Savannah's Story - Part 2

2009-03-10T08:40:00.004-05:00

If you'd like to start with part one of Savannah's story, go here:

http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/savannahs-story-part-1.html

page 7

Over the years, the two attributes of God that have given me the most comfort, peace, and joy - that have knit together my heart with my Lord's

Are that of His Sovereignty

God is in control of every detail of our lives, and nothing comes to us except that which He has allowed.

Mixed with His Incredible Love

He loves us so very much! And He promises that All things will be worked out for our good, coming together, woven into the wonderful, beautiful tapestry of His plan for our lives...

page 8
And then six years later,
after God gave us Amanda Grace and Emilie Lynnette to hold in our arms and raise in our home -

after I thought I had learned the lesson of "whatever" and I thought the time of losing babies was over ~

God gave us Savannah Rose.

page 9
My pregnancy was uneventful. I've never had much trouble with morning sickness. The Lord has blessed me in that way.

The hard part for me is the last few weeks, sore hips, contractions that feel like real labor but then say "Psych", knowing that I may well go past my due date even a week or two.

It's easy to fall into whiny, poor-me thinking. It is a time of learning to trust God for His timing and His plan.

Then I printed out and pasted in my blog post from here:
http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/02/waiting-waiting-waiting-on-lord.html

page 10
The blog post continues onto the next page full of thankyou's.

I added by hand:
Thankyou for the valley, for the journey, for Your hand holding us -

Thankyou for Savannah Rose

page 11
It was Thursday night, the 26th when I really began to be concerned. My babies often have a really busy day followed by a quiet day, and then, just when I'm starting to say, "ok, Lord, let this baby move," he will get busy again.

Thursday night I kept praying, but he didn't get busy.

I made a pitcher of kool-aid and drank three glasses, but he didn't get busy.

I played music through the headphones for him, but he didn't get busy.

I got out my baby heartbeat listener and found only silence -

I was afraid.

My worst nightmare.

Mike was overnight in Oshkosh, so it was just me and God -
I didn't want to live this.

But God reminded me again that there was no point to worry or fear. God's plan is what it is. And He is enough...

I printed out the lyrics to Ginny Owens' song, "If You Want Me To"

The pathway is broken And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley If You want me to

Chorus: Cause I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone
ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I go through the valley If You want me to

page 12

My midwife, Chris had been planning to come that week to check baby's position. He'd been breech, sideways, pretty much everything but head down. So I called Chris and asked her to make sure she brought her doppler.

She came as soon as she could. An ice storm the day before had made scraping the car and getting out of the driveway a long task.

Chris looked and looked for a long time,
but once again
all we heard
was Silence ~

Mike met us at the hospital, where an ultrasound confirmed that our baby was already with Jesus.

page 13

Dear friends and family held us up in prayer as I began a labor different than any I'd been through before.

I included the first part of my friend, Jewels' post, asking for prayer on her Eyes of Wonder blog. http://www.eyesofwonder.typepad.com/my_weblog/

page 14

Labor was slow -
like all my labors.

It gave us time to talk,
to pray
to process -

It gave me time to stay in the moment
with God.

Going on is a moment by moment thing. If I think ahead to what is to come, I fall apart. If I think back to what has happened, I'm assaulted by regrets. But right now in this moment, God is here and He is all and He is enough.

It is hard to feel so much like any other labor, but to know it's not. To feel the end of a contraction and think just for a split secon that I felt the baby move. It's when I think ahead to going home without a baby , trying to get back to normal life, that I think I can't handle it. But in this moment, God is here. Mike and I were able to come to agreements on plans as far as we can make them right now. We will be having the baby cremated so we can bury him on our own land and dear pastor friend of our family has agreed to do a memorial service at our house. It's mainly the when that is the question, I guess, and that's in God's hands. We'll see if this labor is as slow as most of mine.

I wrote in part of my song "Just For This Moment"

Just for this moment, I abide in Thee.
My roots grow deep within the Vine
and let Your life flow through me.

Just for this moment,
And when this moment's through,
May Your grace stretch this moment
within Your embrace
Into a lifetime of moments in You...

Go on to part three of Savannah's Story:
http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/savannahs-story-part-3.html

Savannah's Story part 1

2009-03-09T11:55:00.010-05:00

I've been wanting to tell Savannah's story here on the blog.

There have been so many wonderful people praying for us through this time and I appreciate it so very very much!

I put together a scrapbook which was available for people to look at during Savannah's "visitation / open house" thing on Saturday.

I thought I'd try to "show" you it here. It will be a long post with lots of pictures, even splitting it over several days, so please bear with me. :)

Love and thanks to all of you!!!!!

My son, Terran created the tooled leather cover for Savannah's book.

My son, Jeremi marbled the paper that I used for the end papers.

My son, Micha spent hours watching his sister, Emilie so that I could finish the book.

Without them, this would not have been possible. :)

page 1

page 2:

I can't really tell Savannah's story without first telling Tori's and Sarah's and Stephen's.

For the journey really begins there - a journey of pain, yes, but much more of learning and growing in the Lord, of seeing His hand and loving His ways...

page 3

page 4

I printed out and pasted in my blog post which you can read here:

http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/02/one-of-my-favorite-things.html

page 5:

I printed out pictures I found on the internet of babies at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, and 11 weeks gestation - the ages at which I miscarried each of my three little ones.

No Life Too Small

Victoria Ruthanne

July 2000

named after my Gramma Rosenow

Sarah Morganne Laine

March 2001

named after a lovely woman who taught me about loving God's Word

(if you've never read Laine's Letters - http://www.lainesletters.com/ - I'm sure you would be blessed to do so.)

Stephen Matthias

May 2003

His name was given to me by God in a dream

As a Lutheran who believes in the efficacy of infant baptism, my biggest concern was the salvation of a baby who died before having the opportunity to be baptized.

Pastor Sturm was not very helpful, but I prayed to God to show me in His Word what was true. I couldn't just believe it because I wanted it to be true, I had to know God said so.

That day in my Bible reading, was when God first gave me Psalm 22:10 - "From my mother's womb, You have been my God."

We know that babies can hear while still in the womb. How many times have I felt a little one within me react to a noise or to music. God's Word says that faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Knowing that our babies heard God's Word while still inside me, I felt God's comforting confirmation that even an unborn child could be gifted with God's saving grace...

page 6

I printed out the words to my song, Little One

As I grieved for those little ones - barely there and then taken away -

I was learning that just because I'd always wanted a big family, that didn't mean I was relying on the Lord to open and close the womb.

He had to teach me to say

WHATEVER, LORD!

I will trust You

I will love You

I will serve You

whatever Your plans for me might be...

"For I know the plans I have towards you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future."

go on to part two of Savannah's story:
http://habakkuk3.blogspot.com/2009/03/savannahs-story-part-2.html

In His Hands

2009-03-04T08:49:00.005-06:00

In His Hands

I love this picture even though it's blurry.

It's blurry because Amanda just would not stand still.

She was singing and dancing, smiling and praising...

"He's got the itty bitty baby in His hands. He's got the itty bitty baby in His hands. He's got the itty bitty baby in His hands. He's got the whole world in His hands.."

This is the same little girl who was crying uncontrollably the other day, wondering if she could go to the store and buy a baby doll and name it Savannah Rose and give it to me. In fact, I had just posted on my board asking for prayer for her, when I heard her singing in the kitchen and just had to grab my camera. God is so good!

Psalm 42:11

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.

Just a Quick Thankyou For Now

2009-03-01T14:59:00.003-06:00

I'm hoping to get some pictures uploaded here and do a real blog post soon. But for now, I just wanted to say the most incredible, heartfelt thanks. What an overwhelming (in a good way) thing to see hundreds of people all over the world, praying for us, loving us, and being touched by my daughter's life and death. We are so looking forward to seeing her in heaven someday.

Savannah Rose was born still on February 28, 2009 (just 2 days before her due date)
She was 4 lb 15 oz and 17" long.

God is ever present and so wonderfully loving to us. We are in His hand, right where we belong.

Thanks again,
- Heidi

Story for a Song - 3

2009-02-24T09:02:00.003-06:00

Just For This Moment

A few years ago I read a book by Andrew Murray entitled "Abide in Christ". It really touched my heart because it fit in with what God was teaching me and then went a step beyond.

God had been teaching me about sanctification and what it really means. We tend to look at our lives in Christ and see His justification as something He does in and through us. We recognize that we have no ability in ourselves to come to Him or believe in Him. But when it comes to sanctification - the growing up in the Lord - we tend to see it as something *we* have to do.

We strive and try to be better people, berate ourselves for our failings, and beg God to lift us up again, only to run off and try to try harder in our own strength! Crazy, isn't it?

When we come to realize that sanctification is just like justification - it is something that *God* does, not that *we* do - there is a peace that comes and a freedom that abounds. It is not a do nothing kind of faith. It does not mean that we live just as we want and think God will change us into something better, although it can sound almost that way. His yoke is easy and His burden light! What it is, is a faith that finds it's focus in knowing and loving God. That's all. That's it. Not trying to be perfect parents/siblings/spouses/church members/people. Not *having* to wear dresses only or cover our heads or avoid television and rock music. Not finding a formula to live by.

Just loving God

Just delighting in Him

Just enjoying Him

Just abiding in Him

And when we do those things, *HE* works in us, changes us, makes us more and more like Him. We may wear dresses only because we *want* to. We might feel it's the best way to fulfil His command to be modest and feminine. We do it because He causes our heart to *want* to do it. And the same with any other kind of lifestyle change that can *look* like some kind of requirement to be godly. But it's NOT because it's some rule we have to follow. Not any of those things - just something that flows out of our relationship with Him.

But then comes the question of how do we stay there in that place? How do we keep our eyes on Him? How do we grow beyond the inconsistencies of a fledgling faith that keeps picking up the pieces of our lives and trying to fix them ourselves?

That's where the book helped me so much. Mr. Murry wrote about living in the *moment*. Just for THIS moment. Right now. I put my eyes on Christ. I trust in Him. I love Him. I abide in Him. I am not worried about how many moments are left in my life and how many times I'll fall. All that matters is the now. And right now He is here, within me, changing me and loving me, and growing me into all that He wants me to be. And I can trust that He will stretch those moments, from one into another, into another, until I am living my whole life IN HIM!

Here's the link for the song:

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/JustForThisMoment.mp3

and here are the words:

Just for this moment, I abide in Thee.
My roots grow deep within the Vine and let Your life flow through me.
Just for this moment, I will cease to strive
To live my life in my own strength,
Oh, let all that is of me die!

Lord, I praise You that You're able
To work even in me!
Your strength is made perfect in my weakness
And Your grace is sufficient for me!
There is freedom in admitting
That there's nothing good in me.
For when I rest and let You do Your work,
You will change my heart indeed!

Just for this moment, I abide in Thee
My roots grow deep within the Vine
And let Your life flow through me.
Just for this moment - and when this moment's through,
May Your grace stretch this moment within Your embrace
Into a lifetime of moments in You!!

Sunshine

2009-02-23T12:50:00.010-06:00

Recently I found myself very dis-satisfied with every picture I took. I've actually gotten some wonderful (at least in my opinion LOL) pictures in the past and considered myself a fairly good photographer. But I just couldn't get the look that I wanted and I couldn't figure out why. My pictures were either washed out

or dark and grainy

or super blurry

It was awful. I knew it wasn't the camera's fault. Then I remembered I'd had this problem before. It was wintertime that was the problem. So I started doing some research online on how to get good pictures indoors during winter.

It turned out my problem was light. There just wasn't enough of it. The shutter was moving slower (because of lack of light) letting my small movements show up in a blurry or grainy picture.

So I asked Mike, who is a much better photographer, for help and he showed me where to change some of the settings on my camera.

We tried changing the color settings, but I felt it was still kind of washed out.

A higher ISO made for a *decent* picture, although still just a little grainy in my opinion - and just not a *great* picture. I wanted pictures that popped! Pictures that looked *alive*!

Finally, one of my online friends suggested turning off the flash, waiting for a sunny morning, and using natural light coming in the windows.

Wow! What a difference! I finally had pictures that had life in them! Pictures that I wanted to keep and share with others.

What a difference light makes! And not just any light. I turned on my flash in several of those earlier pictures, but they still fell flat. It was natural sunlight - God's light that breathed life into those photographs. It was the play of light and shadow more than just having enough light that made the difference.

And then I realized it was another metaphor from God. :) Isn't He cool?! In my life, there are times of darkness - wintery times. Often, I've tried to force my own ideas of light into the situation, but although they may seem to help a little, they lack the power to tranform my life into something truly beautiful. It's just a flat copy of what could be.

But when God's light shines into my life, it makes even the shadows part of the beauty. A beauty that glows with true life!

p.s. For anyone who missed out on the free cd, it is available for purchase at http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/music.html

Story of a Song - 2

2009-02-20T07:55:00.003-06:00

You Are My Everything

This was one of the first songs I wrote. We were stationed in Sicily and Mike had just extended for another year there. I knew it was the right decision to stay, but still I was lonely - missing family - missing friends.

God was just beginning to teach me in those days to really truly rely on Him, not on others, or wallowing in my feelings. He reminded me that He alone is there always with me. He truly is my all in all. This simple song of praise came out of that.

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/YouAreMyEverything.mp3

chorus: You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.

Oh, Lord, You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.

vs. 1: Oh Lord, I've come from the depths, not on my own part,

but only by Thy grace.

You've lifted me up and that's why I can say,

"I want You in my life. I want You as my Lord."

chorus: You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.
Oh, Lord, You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.

vs. 2: Oh Lord, may my life be always set before You

as a living sacrifice.

May the words of my mouth and thoughts within my heart

be pleasing in Your sight. I love You, Lord, my life!

chorus: You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.
Oh, Lord, You are my God. You are my King. You are my Everything.

Free Give-Away

2009-02-19T12:18:00.002-06:00

Two of my recent posts have highlighted songs from my cd - "Little One" and "Shall We Dance". If you enjoyed those songs, you might enjoy my cd entitled "Make My Life a Symphony".

I will send this cd free to the first 3 people who put my blog into their bloglines feed, or post about it on their own blog and leave me a comment here with a link to your blog.

I pray it will be a blessing to you. :)

- Heidi

Story of a Song - 1

2009-02-18T09:05:00.006-06:00

Shall We Dance?

About 5 years ago, my friend went through yet another miscarriage. It was the 5th one in a row and more difficult than any before - both physically as she was farther along this time - and emotionally as she had felt sure God had promised her that she'd hold another child in her arms. It was a crisis of faith for her.

Praise the Lord, He brought her through it with her faith stronger than ever. (And the next year she became pregnant again and carried a precious daughter to term.) This is her story and her song.

My friend told me about a vision she'd had many times. In this vision, Jesus came to her and asked, "Shall we dance?" All through her life, in times of worship, in times of sadness, in times of joy, this vision would repeat itself - Jesus drawing her heart to His in the dance - letting Him be her ALL - letting the world and its problems fade into the background while her mind and heart were bound up in His.

After this fifth miscarriage she said the vision had come again. Jesus called to her and said, "Shall we dance?" When she refused, Jesus just waited and asked again, "Shall we dance?" I don't remember how many times this continued, but it was quite a while. Finally, finally, Jesus got through to her heart, reminding her that He was enough for her no matter what, that His promises were true even when it may seem to our human eyes that He is taking away a promise. (Very much like what "Much Afraid" had to learn in the book Hinds Feet on High Places.)

When I wrote the song, I was thinking of my own life when I wrote the first verse. Our church did confirmation in eighth grade, for which we wore white robes and walked up the aisle to the front of the church and said our vows to remain true to God and His Word for the rest of our lives. Even if your church doesn't do confirmation, you could see it also as a young person going up for the "altar call" and receiving Jesus into their heart at that time. The second verse was for every mom who's feeling worn out by everyday life. The third verse is specifically my friend's story - but it's true for all of us who have had to accept the apparent taking away of a dream or promise. Jesus Christ *is* All in All and He loves us so very much, how can it really be anything but a wonderful day?!

http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/ShallWeDance.mp3

vs.1 - Excited and scared, I walk down the aisle.
13 years old, barely more than a child.
Don't know what's in store, but I mean what I say
As I promise in true faith to stay...

chorus - And Jesus says, "Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
For you are my bride and I am your one, true romance.
Oh, shall we dance?"
And the music sweeps in and the world fades away
'Til all I can see is my sweet Saviour's face.
He loves me so much, how can I not say
It's a wonderful, beautiful day?! It's a beautiful day!

vs.2 - I wake up tired. The rain's pouring down.
The baby's screaming. My head starts to pound.
The house is a mess and the children all fight
And I wish I could call it a night!

vs.3 - An empty womb - an aching heart -
Broken dreams - my world falls apart -
I thought I heard Jesus promise to me,
So how in the world can this be?

bridge - When nothing makes sense and life is too rough,
Just trust Him and know that His love is enough!
He calls you by name and asks you to join in the dance!

Improvise, Overcome,and Adapt

2009-02-17T11:42:00.003-06:00

Always an adventure! The week before last our wonderful (free) washing machine decided to get sick. The fill valve was mechanically stuck open and we ended up with a great deal of water on the floor! Praise the Lord there was someone in the room when it happened and we were able to deal with the problem before it damaged anything!

We found out that it would be almost $100 to fix and that hardly seemed worth it for a free washing machine that was held together with duct tape. LOL So we waited and and prayed - and God provided! We were only without a washer for about a week. During that time Terran and I took one trip to a laundromat where we did 4 loads and brought them home to dry. Then one day, Juli and I decided to step back in time and do at least the dish towels and cloths and napkins - which were desperately needed. We washed them in the tub. Juli had gotten a little washboard for Christmas and she graciously allowed me to borrow it. Then we turned each piece through the old fashioned wringer I'd picked up at a garage sale. No longer just a bit of decoration, it actually had a purpose again! A pop back into the tub for rinsing and then once again through the wringer, we were done. Definitely a longer process than putting everything into the washing machine - but it was fun! Maybe this summer we'll do it on a regular basis and hang things out on the line to really live back in time. :) In the meantime, I am certainly grateful for the new to us washing machine that God gave us!

Decluttering

2009-02-13T07:52:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, I joined a decluttering challenge with a group of online friends. We've been encouraging eachother along the way as we work on making our homes a little more organized. So far I've worked mainly in two areas - a room we call the summer kitchen and the master bedroom. Here are some rather embarassing befores and some very enjoyable afters:

Summer kitchen:

this room is large but it has to wear a lot of hats. It is the laundry room, mudroom, sewing room, and computer room

Before:

You'll need to tilt your head sideways :) This is the corner behind the summer kitchen door. Kids' coats and snowpants in a messy pile.

After: hooks moved and added at two levels (lower ones for the little girls) make a place for coats and snowpants. Cubbies for boots. Two grocery style baskets hold all the gloves, hats, scarves etc. I suppose it's kind of still messy - hard to have that many and not be :) but much better!

Before: Laundry area - hooks for girls' coats originally too high - they couldn't hang up their own stuff - messy shelf, corner, etc.

After: organized shelf and top of dryer - straightened up corners and found homes for everything.

Before: sewing desk a total mess - no room to sew! (sorry it's another sideways one)

.

After: switched desks with girls' computer. It made more sense to consolidate areas of the room, so this is now the sewing area - sewing machine and serger on the desk along with my ott lite and organized bins, Lissa's sewing machine and the embroidery machine on the tv trays in the corner.

Before: computer desks - main computer, boys' computer, second picture: girls' computer

.

After: reorganized to put girls' computer in same area as other computers. Got stools to sit on which took much less space than all those chairs, plus saved bringing them back and forth from the dining room multiple times a day. Cleared off lots of extra junk ;)

All of which equals a room that we can actually use and enjoy! :)

Master Bedroom:

Area under shelf in corner of bedroom - so many boxes that just never got unpacked - girls' winter dress coats, etc.

.

After: no more boxes! Room to put beanbag chairs when not in use - big basket holds all the extra blankets that everyone likes to cuddle up in while watching tv. Eventually we'll have a woodstove so there will be a stove pipe instead of a towel stuffed hole in the wall. :)

Entertainment center before

.

Entertainment center after - Mike's chess set collection gets to show off on top - beautiful carved ship was made by my great uncle Mike as a wedding present for us. I got another dvd zippered case, so finally everything has a place - no more dvd cases all over the place.

Dressers before, also filled with boxes on top and around

.

Dressers after - cleared off and usable

Mike's comfy chair corner before

.

Mike's comfy chair corner after - - hmm, funny how you notice stuff in pictures that you didn't see in real life. A few things left to get out of there I think. :)

Bed before - windows were covered with blankets to keep off drafts

.

Bed after - I made a window quilt with Mike's old Navy uniforms. :)

Other nice changes that came with decluttering:

I added a border in the little girls' room - painted the vines free hand and added leaves in a couple shades of green with a leaf shaped stamp that I cut out of a sponge. Then I put up some Cicely Mary Barker fairy wallies here and there :)

.

The company Mike works for bought out another company. They acquired a conference table they didn't need and gave the table top to us. We took off our old table top and put on the new one - and voila! A beautiful table that easily fits ALL of us now!

Terran took a section of the old table top and made a wonderful counter for the kitchen! We had very little counter space before, so that was a real blessing!

We had no curtain for the bathroom window - just an old towel hung up to afford a bit of privacy. Mike picked up a bolt of some beautiful lace for $1 a yard when our Walmart decided to close it's fabric section. The bathroom window looks much better with it's new dress. :)

So, that's about it for the present. A few more things to do - of course there always are! And maintaining it is always the real challenge! But what a blessing it is to look around and see the little touches and usable spaces!

God does much the same thing in our lives too, doesn't He? I love how He works through our hearts, throwing out the junk that we've accumulated - adding touches of Himself here and there - letting His beauty shine through! And, just like I sometimes feel discouraged after I declutter and the kids mess it up again and don't care - how similar it must be for Him when I go back again and again to my selfish sinful ways! I have been learning through my decluttering that we are a busy, creative family, which lends itself to clutter. That's not going to change, so the goal is to create areas and organizing solutions that make it easier to put things where they belong. In the same way, God is knows I'm a sinner but He is changing the underlying person within me - drawing me closer to Him, making me more like Him, so there is less and less desire to fill my heart with that selfish clutter in the first place. Isn't He wonderful!?

One Of My Favorite Things

2009-02-12T16:43:00.000-06:00

In addition to our 8 special blessings here in our home on earth, we have three special blessings waiting for us in our mansion in heaven.
Victoria Ruthanne (Tori) born into heaven July '00
Sarah Morganne Laine born into heaven Mar '01
Stephen Matthias born into heaven May '03
One night in 2001, after I'd lost the first two children, the Lord gave me a dream in which I was able to go for a visit to that mansion the Lord is preparing for me in heaven. I don't know how biblically accurate it was, but I believe it was given for my comfort.
It was a beautiful house. :) I love to plan out dream houses, plotting floorplans on graph paper. This house was all of those dream houses and then some.
My Gramma was there. She went to be with the Lord in 97, the same year my Lissa was born, the day after her 80th birthday. She was a mentor to me especially in sewing and I've often wished she'd lived to see where the Lord has taken my sewing through Daddy's Little Princess. I think she'd be thrilled. :) In my dream she helped me sew for DLP. Wouldn't that be awesome to really be able to do that in heaven someday?
Best of all, all my children were there. I got to hold and nurse baby Sarah and snuggle up with her in a comfy chair. I got to listen to little Tori reading to me out of the Dick and Jane reader. One scene that stayed especially clear to me was in the kitchen. Gramma was sitting in my antique rocking chair, the light spilling in the french doors to the garden behind her. In her lap was a bowl of apples she was peeling as she planned to bake an apple pie with Tori - the same way she'd baked with me so often when I was little. Gramma looked just like she had when I was little - dark hair, pretty face, always wearing her apron. In my dream, little Tori leaned up against Gramma eating one of the apples, asking if she could help. It brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful.
I don't think I told anyone about the dream then - not even my husband, so it was with wonderfully surprised and happy tears that my dear husband confirmed God's comfort to me not long after on our anniversary, when he brought in a beautiful art print to hang on the wall.
The print is by Loren Entz and it's called Apple of Her Eye.

Isn't God Amazing!
It now hangs in a very special place in our livingroom. To me, it will always be a picture of Gramma and Tori making an apple pie in our mansion in heaven!

Here is a song I wrote a few years back, thinking of the babies we'd lost through miscarriage.
http://www.daddys-little-princess.com/LittleOne.mp3 I pray it might be a blessing to you or someone you know.

Unschooling Opportunity of a Lifetime

2009-02-12T16:32:00.000-06:00

Guess what?!
I decided to do something crazy! About a month ago I heard a news story on the radio about something called, "The Best Job In The World". Maybe you heard about it too. It's a job called "Island Caretaker" - which in my opinion is really a terrible misnomer (sorry, Tourism Queensland ;) ) - but put simply, the Tourism department of Queensland Australia wants someone to come stay on Hamilton Island in a 3 bdrm vacation home for six months, do all the touristy things around the islands of the great barrier reef and keep a blog for the world to see - hopefully drawing all kinds of tourists to their area. For this, the chosen person gets paid about 100K - about enough to pay for all the touristy things you have to do and hopefully bring a little money home. Talk about an unschooler's dream!!!!!!! :) Of course the crazy part would be someone like me managing six months mostly without dh and with 9 children including a 4 month old. But then, I've always loved an adventure. (and I'd get to meet Linda from Hearthkeepers!!!) :) :) :) So, I decided to apply. You have to record a one minute video telling them why you think you're the best person for the job and a little bit about what you know about the islands of the Great Barrier Reef - and do it in an "entertaining" way. (Then I had to re-do my video when it was rejected because it was a fraction of a second too long. :) but it was really a blessing as I got to make a few slight changes I'd been wishing I'd done the first time.)
In any case, it's done and it's been accepted and it's up on their website now! You can see (and rate) it at http://www.islandreefjob.com/applicants/watch/PP0eT-O03Gk Granted, right now the ratings aren't really that important. Later this month, they'll drop it down to 50 people, and if I'm in that group, perhaps you all might be willing to go and vote for me. Anyway - I'd love it if you checked it out - and if I get into the top 50, please help me go visit my friend, Linda. :)

No, it's not real of course LOL. It's an image I created to use as part of my application.
They close applications Feb 22 (unless they get 30,000 before then and move up the date)They narrow it down to 50 by Mar 2 after which they have voting until the 24thThey'll pick 10 candidates and let the general public pick one wild card candidateBy Apr. 2, we'll know who those 11 people areMay 3, the 11 candidates travel to Queensland for interviewsMay 6 they announce the winnerWork starts July 1 and goes to Jan 1
The children and I would go. Terran would actually stay here with Mike for the first couple of months because he has an obligation for the summer, but then he'd be with us for the rest of the time (which is good since he's probably my most adventurous). Mike would plan to visit three times throughout the stay - the first at the end of Aug/beginning of Sep at which time Terran would come and stay with us. Then again around the end of Oct/ beginning of Nov, and third for Christmas/our anniversary. Then we'd go home in January. All the applications are on video, but there is a wide variety of video styles - from people just sitting in front of a webcam talking, to ones more like mine, to some that are a mixture of both. It's been interesting watching some of the videos as they go up on the islandreefjob website. There are a lot of people more qualified in the sense that they already have scuba diving and boating certifications and are very well traveled. My qualifications are more on the writing and photography and website side of things.
I am torn between getting my hopes up and knowing it's probably unlikely. I mean what are the chances they'll want a 38 year old mother of 9 who does NOT look good in a bikini? Still, it's in God's hands - and I pray that if it would be as good an experience as I think, that He will bring it to pass. :)

Waiting... waiting... waiting on the Lord

2009-02-12T16:11:00.000-06:00

It's that time again. 3 weeks to my due date - maybe 4 given my history of late babies - maybe 2 if dreams have anything to do with it . You'd think by number nine I'd be used to the constant contractions that don't actually seem to do anything, the intense pressure on already sore hips, the lack of sleep (between the hips, the contractions, and the 2yr old who still wakes sometimes at night - though not as often anymore), the hormonal oversensitivity and overwhelmed-ness. I KNOW that God is in control and has a wonderful plan for us. His timing is perfect and the pain along the way is worth it. I want to trust Him more this time than in past pregnancies. I guess I am learning, but I get so disgusted with my tendency to pick the burden back up again instead of leaving it in His hands. This past weekend, after a great pregnancy up to this point, I very suddenly hit that wall. That familiar feeling of I can't DO this anymore!
When I was at this point with Manda, I wrote a note to myself that I wish I still had. I thought I'd try to re-create it today.
No more please, only thankyou - - Please prayers tend to turn into whine prayers, which only make things harder. So today, I'm choosing to say "thankyou"
- Thankyou, Lord for painful kicks in the ribs. At least for that moment I can be pretty sure baby is head down!
- Thankyou, Lord for contractions. Even when I don't see any signs that things are progressing, I know that you are using them to get my body ready for this birth a little bit at a time!
- Thankyou, Lord for 2yr olds who wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. I get the chance to snuggle with her and rock her, which will be a lot harder to do after the new one comes!
- Thankyou, Lord for allowing me to feel overwhelmed and weepy. In those times, You are the only one I can lean on, and You promise that You are always there, drawing me ever closer to You!
- Thankyou, Lord for sore hips. It means that we're going to be having a new member of our family!
- Thankyou, Lord for a super busy baby who turns cartwheels all day and night. He's letting me know he's healthy and happy!
- Thankyou, Lord for Your perfect timing for this baby to be born. You know what else will be going on in our lives at the time, Mike's work schedule, the midwife's schedule, the things that we still need to get ready, the best time for baby and for milk supply. You love us so much and You have all those things worked out already for our Good!
-Thankyou, Lord! Thankyou, Lord! Thankyou, Lord!

Oil and Flour - Chapter 2

2009-02-12T15:57:00.000-06:00

So, we moved into our beautiful old farmhouse in October of this year. God started providing by sending many friends to help us in the moving process. My friends Emma and Shirley came over for a day of packing and brought along lunch and didn't even blink an eye at our very embarassing basement. Our dear friends, the Wormans joined us for a few days of carting things over to the new house and beginning the unpacking. The best part was just getting to fellowship for a few days!
God fulfilled our needs in so many miraculous ways. We needed a washer and dryer. We found a dryer on Craig's List for $25 and a friend of my brother in law gave us a washing machine free!
We had a set of triple bunks which had been the boys' and planned on using them in the downstairs bedroom for the older 3 girls, we had a set of regular bunks which we thought maybe the two younger boys could use if we got some plywood to make "bunky boards" so that their regular mattresses would work, but we'd need a bed for our oldest son. God led Mike to a rummage sale where he found a wonderful metal bunk bed with the double lower bunk and the single upper plus a double mattress and two ready made bunky boards all for $10!!!! Isn't God amazing?
Last of all, we needed a stove for the kitchen, preferably gas. We kept looking and looking and nothing was turning up. There was a possibility of one for about $350 which wasn't too bad and we were thinking that's probably what we'd end up doing.
The morning we were moving, our landlord and friend came over to talk to Mike. He happened to ask if we wanted to get rid of our couch. Mike laughed, no way. :) We bought that super comfortable leather couch 2 years ago and loved it. But when Mike and the boys got the couch over to the new house, God turned the laugh on them. :) There was just no way, no possible way that couch was going to go in any of the doors! Mike brought it back and asked our friend if he was still interested LOL and they worked out a deal to trade the couch for a wonderful gas stove! Too funny, how God works sometimes!
So, we were moved in, getting settled - we are still praying for a wood stove but God hasn't opened that door yet.. (at least not completely) I never thought we'd manage financially without one. Propane is so expensive and it just wasn't in the budget. But somehow, one moment at a time, God provided. We get a minimum delivery of 200 gallons and it lasts about 3 weeks, but somehow every time we need more, the money is there - nothing extra - just enough - but it's THERE! (about the "not completely" part ... We have been offered a little wood cook stove recently which Mike will go to look at and hopefully bring home this weekend. It's not enough to heat the whole house, but even if we can just stretch the propane to 4 weeks, that would help.)
We've had times when after all bills were paid, there was nothing left for groceries, yet somehow the pantry is always full and there's plenty to eat. We've even had a neighbor show up at our door with *gallons* of milk!
Someone commented on my blog post yesterday that living in an old farm house is an adventure. LOL Don't I know it! The list of opportunities to watch God's providing hand just keeps going!
So, before we moved in all the inside water supply pipes had to be replaced. That being done, we figured we were set for a while. LOL About a month after we moved in, we noticed that our water pressure was not what it should be. Mike kept watching it on the dial at the pressure tank and it spent most of it's time right around 10 psi. Not so good. Since the pressure tank had been replaced along with the pipes, we figured it probably wasn't that, but weren't sure of course. Finally, Mike decided to ask a plumber to look at it. Mr. Lewko checked it out and confirmed that the problem was not in the house itself but had to be either in the well itself or between the well and the house. I was surprised to find out that plumbers are so specialized with certifications for each different thing, and an indoor plumbing guy wasn't necessarily able to also be an outdoor plumbing or well guy. (With the cost of all the certifications etc etc, no wonder they have trouble finding people who want to go into plumbing!) So, we called the well guy - and the adventure began. The well guy told us they would need to pull the pump up out of the well (the likely problem) and see where the problem was. It would cost $500 to go just that far, and then we'd see. If the pump fell apart in the process we could be looking at digging a whole new well! Yikes!!!
God timed everything just right, both with weather and with finances. Mike's brother slipped some money into his pocket one day. After Mike got home and looked at it, it turned out to be exactly $500! So we scheduled the appointment to check it out. It needed to wait until the next week when we were expecting slightly warmer temperatures. During the wait, God provided another $2500! So we could pretty much just do what needed doing. God is so good!
Day one, they came and pulled up the pump. It was dying badly so they replaced that right away. Went and checked the water pressure and it was still around 10psi. Ugh! $1500 down and still not all better, there had to be a break somewhere between the well and the house.
Day two, they came back with a backhoe. The new pump helped diagnose the issue by having the strength to bring the water to the surface of the ground. A puddle right by the well told the tale. :) So they dug down right there, found a broken coupling, replaced it, pronounced the rest of the pipe to the house in great shape, checked the water pressure and - hooray!!! 45 psi! What a difference!! With the final cost coming in around $2500, that left just a little bit for Mike to get some desperately needed work clothes that we'd also been praying for.
There are more adventures just around the corner of course. Some we have a glimpse of and can expect, others, who knows? And right now there is NOTHING extra to be able to handle them financially. But we know without a shadow of a doubt that God will continue to provide - usually just the right amount at just the right time with nothing extra.
In the Bible, the widow in the story was asked by God's prophet to make him a little bread to eat. She told him there was just enough oil and flour to make enough for her and her son to have one last meal. Elijah said, "make some for me first, and the oil and flour will not run dry ." In faith, she did as Elijah asked, and God worked a miracle! Her tiny bit of oil and flour made bread for many many days until God sent rain again! And that is EXACTLY how He works in our lives so often. He asks us to step out in faith, to bring the tithe into the storehouse, even when we look at the checkbook and think there's no way we'll be able to pay our bills, have food in the pantry, have something to pay the doctor if someone needs to go or a mechanic if the car breaks down. It doesn't make sense. It shouldn't work. And yet, somehow, miraculously, God keeps our checkbook going like oil and flour. There's seldom any extra. I'm sure the widow at Zeraphath had those times too, when she looked into the flour barrel or the oil jug and thought, there's just no way. We won't make it. I'm sure there were times she had to remind herself that God had already done so many oil and flour miracles, surely He would continue to provide as He promised. If we look at the "what if's", it's easy to get worried. But when we keep our eyes on the Lord, we can see that there's no better place to be than right in the middle of His incredible providing hand, constantly leaning on Him and Him alone. Isn't God amazing?!?!

Oil and Flour - or the Adventures of Living in a 100yr old Farmhouse

2009-02-12T15:54:00.000-06:00

God is so incredibly good to us. I'm not sure if I mentioned on the blog here (or if it was during my sabatical LOL) - First of all, the long story of how God brought us here and provided miraculously all along the way:
Back up to 2006 - May - we found out about an opportunity to rent a house in the country. We'd been thinking about getting out of town for a while and the rent was actually less than our mortgage payment. We believed it was God's direction and decided to move to the rented house and put our house in town on the market. We had most of our tax return from that year still in the bank so thought we had a couple of months cushion and could surely sell our house by then. God did use that house for His glory and He provided, often in miraculous ways, but it took a lot longer to sell it than we were expecting.July 11th 2008, we FINALLY sold the house we owned in town. We'd been trying for two years. Finally a couple came along that we felt God was saying were the ones to buy the house. It took 4 months and 4 failed closing dates, but it finally happened. Signed the papers and were so so glad to be done with that portion of our lives. We thought maybe we'd stay here in our rented house for a few years, try to get out of debt, and then look for a country house of our own.However, a few days before that closing date, our landlord's son started asking dh questions about our long term plans. We knew he was in the process of buying this house from his parents, but figured it would be a while before he wanted it. It turned out he was planning to court a certain special young lady. So, suddenly we had a different mindset. Maybe we wouldn't be staying here a few more years. At least we were open to the possibility. As we sat in the realtor's office, waiting for the buyers to sign their 200 some pages we looked through the big book of properties sitting there. We were surprised to find 5 or 6 properties with land in a reasonable price range. We almost passed this one by. The description said "as is" and I figured dh wouldn't be interested. Then the realtor came in and said, "did you see this one?". She started telling us about this house and we were intrigued. 5 bedrooms, 1 bath, almost 13 acres, bank owned, needing some work - especially plumbing, but only 111K. Dh and I decided to drive by it that weekend. We found it unlocked and decided to check it out. (we did tell our realtor about it after the weekend and she was ok with it and glad that we were the ones that found it and locked up for them) We fell in love. It was an old farmhouse. You walk in and it feels like you're stepping 100 years back in time. We could totally see our family living there. In the week or so following, dh drove by each of the other properties we'd noticed in the book, and each was rejected for one reason or another.Still, we were not at all sure it was the right thing to do. We weren't sure if there were many hidden things that needed more work than we could afford, we weren't sure if there was any chance of getting a mortgage with our current debts, and the landlord's son was turned down by his lady friend (poor guy). So we were holding it very very loosely and praying for God's clear direction. My uncle is a carpenter and general contractor and does house inspections. We contacted him and he agreed to come for a visit and look at the house with us. We specifically prayed that if it was God's will, that we would get a good report both from my uncle and from the man at the bank.Uncle Pete came and we had a wonderful visit. He walked through the house with us and pointed out the things that needed to be done. We were pleased to find no big surprises. As we walked around the property before leaving he said, "This is the perfect house for your family." Then even better, on the way home he offered to barter his help on the house in exchange for our boys' help with some of his projects. (talk about getting the best of both ends of that deal!!). Monday, dh talked to the guy at the bank and got a clear go ahead from him too! Not only that, but the realtor let us know that they'd dropped the price to 102K.We decided to put in an offer on the house. :) We talked with our realtor and decided to offer them 96K and ask them to fix the plumbing and test the well and septic. We didn't expect them to accept it, but figured it was worth a try. Dh said if they accepted it, it would certainly be God. They accepted with a minor difference - they would credit the cost of the plumbing repairs and tests rather than actually doing them. Yup, it was God. LOL So we had to go and sign their counter offer. It was a busy week for dh and we couldn't get in til Friday. The realtor called to let us know we needed to be sure we did it Friday as there was another couple scheduled to look at the house over the weekend. They were preapproved and something told her they would be making an offer. So we managed to get there Friday afternoon and sign the counter offer. Even then we knew it could fall through as that counter offer had to be signed by the sellers before it was binding. It could take up to 3 days for them to sign according to the paperwork, and if something better showed up before then, they could take it. We left it in God's hands. Monday came and no signature yet. The other couple hadn't placed an offer but were planning on it. Tuesday the other couple decided against putting in an offer. Wednesday the signed counter offer came back from the seller. The plumbing got fixed. The well and septic tested good. The seller asked to move the closing date up a week and we accepted. And here we are! Every door, God opened wide. Every step of the way, He was behind us saying "this is the way, walk ye in it." Over the next few weeks we would be sweeping, scrubbing, painting, and then MOVING!!

Depression and the Christian

2009-02-12T15:52:00.002-06:00

One of the difficulties that seems to afflict us as women fairly often is depression. As we head into the darkest and coldest season of the year, it can be especially difficult to keep a cheery disposition. Yet God calls us to rejoice in all things!
It has been on my heart for many years to write a book on escaping from depression. As a teenager and young adult I went through some very dark times. I won't go into every detail right now, but I will tell you I went as far as attempting suicide more than once. When it got to be at its worst and God still did not allow me to die, I begged Him to heal me and allow me to help others who were in the same situation.
It was a long road, but one so worthwhile. Praise God, He has given me the victory today and I want so to let others who are still in the darkness of depression to know that He CAN heal you too!
"Every experience that comes to us in life, be it joyous or painful, comes sifted through the hand of God." Whoever said that was incredibly wise.
There will be times when God lets us experience pain. That's a given. It's hard to see the good that will come out of it when you're in the midst of it, but when we *wait quietly* for the salvation of the *Lord*, the good *will* come.
There are pains in life that we bring on ourselves - consequences of sin. But even then, God does not thrust us from his presence forever. Even the Babylonian captivity was limited, though the Israelite's sin of idolatry seemed boundless.
So, to us also, God promises He will not cast us from his fellowship and blessings forever. He is with us all through it! When life gets tough, we are tempted to despair, but despair and depression only keep us in bondage. Depression is a rock that closes up the pit that we have fallen into, closing off all hope of escape. But here is the key:
God may well have allowed the pit, but the rock is of *our own* making!
This doesn't mesh well with our generation's concept of mental illness being the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. I believe that chemical imbalance may well exist, but I believe it is a *result* rather than a *cause* of our thought processes.
According to the research I have done, when a child begins to learn how to walk or how to read, the brain does not at first know how to send the messages and utilize the proper brain chemicals to make the body or the mind do what it should, but as the child is shown and helped to do the right thing over and over again, the chemical pathways are laid down in the brain until the act of walking when he sees a toy across the room, or reading anytime the printed word is seen, becomes nearly automatic.
Human beings are creatures of habit. If we drive to work the same way every day or always have cream with our coffee, chances are we will again tomorrow. If we exercise our muscles in one way only, day in and day out, our bodies will show that imbalance in strength in one set of muscles but not another. And if we exercise our minds and thought processes in a specific direction, our minds will be built up in that area for good or for ill, until that direction of thought becomes so automatic, it is almost inexorable
Chemical balances in the brain CAN be restored, just as a balance in muscle strength can be achieved - through proper exercise (prayer) and determination.
The rock on top of your pit may be particularly heavy. You may have been building it up for many years, and your first attempts to move it may give you only a tiny glimpse of the hope God has for you. But God is able and willing to give you the strength to keep on "working out" until the bright star of His hope can be seen shining through a widening crack in your self-made prison. Then, one day you will push that rock completely off the top of your pit and be able to see the rope of God's escape plan hanging there where it was waiting for you all along!
I pray that you will see what I write as my heart for you who are suffering - not as a judgement. Remember that I HAVE been there. I had to come to see these things within me before I was able to break free. I know it is not easy, but God is able to work the changes needed within you.

Just Do It

2009-02-12T15:52:00.001-06:00

This is the time of year for looking back over the decisions that we've made and planning ahead for the year to come. One of the things that I've been doing the last few years, as you know, is Daddy's Little Princess.
For the most part, I wouldn't change it if I had it to do over again. There aren't a whole lot of people in this world who get to do what they are passionate about and get paid for it!
If there's one thing, one message I could shout out to the world on this New Year's eve, it would be that you CAN do it! Whatever God has put into your heart to do, you can do it through Him! So many times I hear people say, "oh, I could never do that!" be it in regards to homeschooling, or a home business, or whatever. And that just breaks my heart! You are a daughter of the King! And like most Daddys, He wants you to succeed in all areas of your life. In everything that He calls you to do.
So, if you're a mom who is struggling financially and debating going out to get a part time job, or if you're feeling useless at home - desperately needing to get outside of yourself and give to others, consider starting a home business/ministry this year. It may be something that's been niggling at the back of your brain for a while and you think, oh, I could never do that - or I don't have any skills that anyone would pay for. Trust me, I used to think the same thing!
So first of all, tell the voice inside your head that says, "I can't" to take a hike! Then pray. First, ask the Lord to guide you as to His will for your life. First of all for His timing. If you are struggling financially, He may be calling you to start a home business or He may be wanting you to learn to rely on Him alone. If you are feeling useless at home, He may be calling you to start a home business/ministry or He may be calling you to accept your role and give of yourself to your children and husband. His guidance will be for you alone and for you specific situation.
Second, ask for His direction. Take an inventory of your gifts, talents, and passions. No fair saying, "I don't have any." That's a lie from the Enemy himself! Even if your greatest passion is something "unproductive" like watching old movies, you could write reviews and send them out in an e-newsletter, set yourself up as an affiliate with Amazon.com or a similar company that sells those old movies and build a website with links helping people to find a place to purchase those difficult to find, but family friendly black and white and colorized films. Perhaps you could even go so far as to provide a rental service through the mail as some have done, but just for old movies. Hard as it may be to believe, people will listen to YOU and to your opinions in the area of your passion. Sure, not everyone will agree with you. This world would be a pretty boring place if we all agreed with eachother, wouldn't it? But, in any case, whatever your passion, there is something that you can do with it. Don't believe me? I challenge you to stump me - write to me at hmschlrof6@yahoo.com. :)
Third, continue to ask for His guidance as you do some research. Check out the laws in your state. Do you need a business license? Here in Wisconsin, only certain businesses need a license. You will probably want a checking account in your business name. Your bank can help you with that. The easiest way to get started in a business is over the internet. "Rent" consists of registering a domain name and having your website hosted somewhere - much less expensive than a store front downtown! Also check into tax ramifications. It's not as complex as you might think, though. It may be in your best interest to set up your company as an incorporation or an LLC. I am pretty sure that is where Daddy's Little Princess is headed this year, but if I'd worried about that the first year I got started, it's a pretty good bet that Daddy's Little Princess would not be in existence today. I would have gotten scared and run far far away! :) But, it isn't very hard to call your business a sole proprietorship. Tax time consists of filling out a form called a schedule C which basically boils down to your total earnings minus your total expenses - which you file along with your 1040. Not too difficult!
Finally, network with other Christian families to get the word out about your business. Write to me and I will put an ad in this newsletter about your family friendly business. Put your web page address in the sig line of all your emails. Frequent bulletin boards and e-mail discussion groups. Usually you can mention your business briefly in those places or others can mention it for you. One great place to get to know others who are "crazy" entrepreneurs is on a site like that of my friend, Rhea Perry! Entrepreneurs at Home Most of all, dare to dream! You can do ALL things, through Christ, who strengthens you!

Take The Next Step

2009-02-12T15:51:00.001-06:00

Many parents have asked me over the years about teaching their child to read. There are huge amounts of curriculum out there - fancy schmancy phonics programs with flash cards and progress charts or scripted - say this now - kind of formats. How much should we expect to spend on teaching a child to read? How much time and tears should be invested? Is this kind of a formal setting even the best way to teach your child to read?
I'll admit, I looked at my share of phonics curriculums, and even liked parts of each one, but in the end I had to ask myself, "why should I pay a lot of money for something I can do myself?" Does teaching a child to read even have to be a formal process, or can it fit into my overall homeschooling philosophy based on Dt. 6:7?
In the end, my first son pretty much learned to read on his own while I tried to figure out how to teach him! Well, somewhat on his own.
Just as we took the next step when he was learning his first words and his colors and shapes, so we took the next step in learning to read. The first step was simply to read to him - as much as he would let me. We made it a habit to read before bedtime from the time he was born, so that at least was one time each day when I knew I could get my active toddler to sit down next to me and listen to a story. As we read, I might point out a letter here and there. "Do you see this, Micha? This is an A. We made our own alphabet books with pictures of things he was very familiar with for each letter and used these as our bedtime story occassionally.
Maria Montessori explains the didactic steps very well in her writings... 1. "This is". Show the child the letter or object and say, "This is a..." and tell him what it is. Do this naturally as God gives you the opportunity in your reading together and in your life. There are letters all around us. Use them!
2. "Which is?" Show the child two or three letters and ask "which one is the letter A?" Sometimes a child may know the answer but still find it hard to articulate. This approach gives him the opportunity to see the answer in front of him and even answer without speaking. This makes teaching a toddler to read possible even if he doesn't speak yet! Sound surprising? I've actually seen it done. One of my younger sisters was taught to read by my mom before she was two. If you showed her two or three phrases and asked her "which one says..." she could point to the right one every time. You could even write a phrase such as, "Where are my glasses?" and she would go find them. So it is perfectly possible. But I digress...
3. "what is?" Finally, you can ask them, "what is this letter?" and the child can tell you the answer. The important points in all this are to keep the learning sessions as natural and as short as possible and to have fun! If the child does not remember that this letter is called A, tell him - not in a condescending - of course you wouldn't remember - tone, but as if you just remembered it yourself. You can point out some of the clues like the pointy top of the letter and the bar across the middle that looks like the end of the swingset in the backyard, but in the end, if he doesn't remember, that's ok. He'll probably get it next time. After all, he is still pretty little.
When my oldest son was 18 or 20 months old, we started pointing out the letters all around him. When I made up some homemade flashcards to teach him his letters, I was amazed to find that he already knew most of them. We did find a use for those flashcards, playing matching games. Index cards are wonderful things! We found pictures in magazines that went with each letter, some letters we had many pictures for, some only one, and we glued one picture onto each card. Now we could play "concentration" - turning the cards all upside down in a grid format on the floor, turning up two at a time and checking to see if they were a match. If the two cards were a letter B and a picture of a bicycle, (or a bicycle and a banana) it was a match and could be kept. We could also just lay the cards out on the floor and match them up without any specific game format. I still remember the cards my mom made like this when I was little and stretching them across the livingroom floor from A to Z with all the pictures that started with that letter next to the letter cards.
My son wasn't even two years old, and didn't know his alphabet song, but he knew the name of every letter like they were old friends. No curriculum did that - and no genius intellect in my son - although I consider him to be pretty smart - just a natural learning environment. One of my favorite homeschooling authors, Marilyn Howshall, says that if you want to teach your child anything - no matter what the topic - you should simply fill yourself up with it, become passionate about it, and it will naturally flow out into the lives of those around you. If you fill yourself up with good books, if you are excited about reading, if you have fun reading with your child, you will hardly be able to keep him from learning to read.
So, my son knew his letter names. Now it was time to take the next step - learning the letter sounds. In Seigfried Englemann's book, "Give Your Child a Superior Mind" (I know the title sounds terribly prideful, but the information in this out of print book is wonderful!) he lays out a logical progression for teaching children the letter sounds. First start with f,l,m,n,r,s,and x. All of these letters have their sound at the end of their name. If you say the letter's name and just hang on to the end - like effffffffff - you'll hear the sound quite clearly. Second, go on to the letters b,d,j,k,p,t,v,and z. These have the sound at the beginning of their name. You could make some index cards with pictures of 15 children with these letters on their shirts, read the story of the Sneetches by Dr. Seuss, and then play a game about the end sounding letters who thought they were better than the beginning sounding letters. After my children knew these fifteen letters well, I next went on to the short vowels. With a,e,i,o,and u we could start building and sounding out words. We had a little song that we sang when we were sounding out a new word - c,a,t, say it faster, c,a,t, say it faster, c,at, say it faster, cat! Now he could read the word on the bathroom door that said MEN and he did, every time we were at a place with public restrooms!
Finally, there are the letters that you just have to memorize, c,g,h,q,w,and y. These took longer to learn, but that didn't hold us back from reading lots of books and playing matching games with the upper and lower case letter flashcards. Whenever there was a word I knew my son could manage in the book we were reading, I'd ask him to figure it out. Eventually he realized that he was reading more of the words than I was. What a revelation! He could read! And I found that he knew those difficult letters too, just by seeing them over and over again.
By then I realized that we didn't need a curriculum to tell us what to learn and how to learn it. I got children's books from the library and an old Dick and Jane type reader that had been my husband's, and we simply continued to read together. I never made flashcards for the letter combinations like sh and ch and ing. When we found those blends and diphthongs in the words in our book, I simply pointed them out, just like we had pointed out the green truck when he was tiny. When we saw a word like eat, we talked about the two vowels that stood next to eachother and how the a made the e say his name, but we never filled out a workbook page, circling the diphthongs in all the words on the page! I still remember hating those phonics workbooks and how pointless they seemed to me, even as a first grader, even as a child who already knew how and loved to read. As time went on, my children needed fewer and fewer reminders.
One of the disadvantages I've seen of working with a reading curriculum is getting bogged down on getting a particular phonics rule mastered before allowing your child to go on. I've found in every area of my life that when God wants me to learn something new He will drop the topic in front of me, maybe just in some aside comment made by a friend. I may not understand it right away, but while life goes on, in the midst of everything, God will let that topic come up over and over and over again. I will be reading a book or talking to someone after church and out it will pop. Until eventually I start seeking out more information and reading more and more about it, and it becomes a part of me. Learning to read is just like that. Each new concept is explained, and then the real reading continues. It will surely come up again on its own. There's no need to harp on it. And after a while, that concept will be a part of your child's reading strategy and suddenly one day you will be surprised to realize that he's got it! This drastically reduces the time it takes a child to learn how to read. While one child is spending day three on the br combination, the other is reading real books. And then the parents wonder why my child can learn to read before he's even "school age" and love reading while their son struggles with and hates br?
The sooner we learn that life IS learning and how to ask the Holy Spirit what the next step is, and then simply take it, the better off both we, and our children will be.

Christian Trees

2009-02-12T15:50:00.000-06:00

Have you ever noticed how many times in God's Word, He compares human beings to plants? Psa 128:3 Thy wife [shall be] as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.
Jhn 15:5 I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
Mat 3:10 And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Not to mention passages like "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it." - which I have come to understand recently also has tree/plant connotations - training in the sense of training a young tree and pruning it as needed!
Last weekend, our family devotion centered on the idea of trees, comparing deciduous trees (those that lose their leaves each year) to Christians whose faith seems to wax and wane, and conifers (evergreens) to Christians whose faith is constant. It got me to thinking all over again about the many tree metaphors the Lord has shown me over the years.
The author of the devotion urged the readers to be conifer Christians, always green and growing. But is this a realistic expectation? It seems to me the normal Christian life IS a life of cycles and seasons, more like the deciduous tree.
Like the trees, we are called to go through seasons of emptiness at times. God calls us to let go of certain things, idols or pet sins. He calls us to drop these things, as the trees are called to drop their leaves.
Did you ever notice that there are some trees that seem to drop their leaves quickly and easily? There isn't much color change to these trees. It just starts to be autumn and they know it's time to let go. Other trees hang onto those leaves for dear life. The maples around here are some of the last trees to drop their leaves, and they are also the reddest.
In my morbidly poetic teenage years :) I imagined that red color to be the blood of the trees fighting against the coming winter. But I realize now that winter is not the demonic, terrible thing that I'd imagined. It is a season, created by God, a necessary part of life, through which the only true growth can happen. So we have a choice; we can obey God's calling as He makes it clear to us, and let go of the sins and idols of our lives quietly and quickly, or we can fight against God's plan for our lives, hang on, and suffer the much deeper pain that comes from that choice.
In the stillness of the winter, after the leaves have been dropped, God's moonlit snow and ice transforms the barren trees into creatures of true beauty. Beauty that comes from God, not from ourselves.
The winter is often still a difficult season to be in. Some winters are harder than others, but God is there with us through all of them. Just as when a tree has been cut down, you can see by the size and shape of the rings which years have been colder winters or dry years, so God promises that He sees every tear and has written them all down in His book. The coldness of yet another miscarriage, the dryness of a move to a new home where you don't know anyone yet - God sees them all and allows them, in the hopes that we will snuggle in closer to him and allow His life to begin to flow through us.
As His life flows through our veins like the sap beginning to flow through the trees, our growth will begin to show on the outside and a new greeness will come forth with the excitement of a spring breeze, showing God's handiwork to all around.
The spring is such a beautiful season to be in! Everything sings with a joy that can hardly be surpassed! The love of God for us and our love for Him can be almost tangible. God's lessons of the winter have begun to show in our growth.
As spring moves into summer, it is easy to feel this green fullness will last forever. The warm rains and sunshiny days of God's Word and fellowship with other believers begin to fill out the fruit that has begun to grow.
And then, the autumn comes again. First the fruit ripens, which can be small and sickly or large and juicy sweet, depending on how much good or bad has gone into the tree/Christian throughout the summer. It's probably no coincidence that it is in the same season that the fruit comes to ripeness and then the leaves fall again. Just as in the parable of the wheat and the tares, there have been sins and wrong thinking mixed in with truth and faith. After all, we're human. So after the fruit has ripened and been harvested, the wrong that must be weeded out is pointed out by the Lord yet again and the leaves of sin must fall. Most plants are pruned in the fall too. And God will prune away all of the dead wood and selfishness, to help us grow so as to produce the best possible fruit for our type of tree.
That's one of the other neat things about trees. Just as there are many different types of fruits, but none better than the others, so God has made us all to bear different types of fruit. I may bring forth apples while another brings forth pears and another olives. The fruit we bring forth is determined by God to compliment the variety within the body of Christ. I can't wish to be an olive tree if He made me to be an apple tree, but through His pruning and watering through all the seasons of my life, I can be the very best apple tree I can be.
So, can Christians be conifers? I don't think so. I think that the evergreen is the perfect symbol for God, the never changing, always loving, always just, eternal Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But at least on this earth, I think Christians have to be content to be deciduous trees. The letting go of autumn and the starkness of winter may be difficult to bear at times, but as deciduous trees we can bring forth the most wonderful fruit!

Spiritual Band-aids

2009-02-12T15:49:00.000-06:00

Yesterday morning, my five year old came up to me and asked for another band-aid. You know how band-aids just seem to be the cure- all for kids? Often it's for the tiniest little scrape. So I looked, and she had a fairly large scab on her ankle. It's actually been there a few days, but I noticed it was bleeding a bit again. She'd been picking at it.
I asked her, "honey, why are you picking at your scab?" She said, "I wanted to see if it was done yet. But God hasn't healed me yet."
Isn't that just like me! How many times God has promised me something, and I keep checking, "is it done yet?" - poking at it, "can I hurry things along?" Only making things worse in reality!
And maybe the band-aid isn't such a bad idea. No matter how small or large the promise that we're waiting for, perhaps putting it under a spiritual band-aid of sorts would help with the waiting process. It would be a reminder that, yes, God has promised this to me, and yes He is working on it. And it would keep my fingers out of the works, wanting to make God's promise happen in my own strength. Thank God for band-aids! :)

He Is Risen Indeed

2009-02-12T09:31:00.001-06:00

Monday this week, I asked the children what this Sunday was about. I was dismayed to find that my 5yo couldn't answer that question. It wasn't like we'd never read the story, talked about it often, watched "The Miracle Maker", etc. Her idea of Easter was going to Gramma's house, getting presents and candy from Great Gramma, playing with her cousin, and eating lots of yummy food. So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
Tuesday this week, I asked my 5yo what Sunday was all about. I was met with silence. I think she remembered that the answer she'd given the day before was not the one I'd been looking for, but not what the right answer was. So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
Wednesday this week, I asked Abi again what Sunday was all about. "God?" was all the answer I could get out of her. So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
Thursday this week, I asked Abigail what Sunday was all about. "God dying on the cross." "Good, and then what happened?" Silence... So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
Friday this week, I asked my daughter what Sunday was all about. "Jesus dying on the cross." "Then what happened?" "They put him in the grave." "And then what?" Silence... So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
Saturday this week, I asked my little girl what Sunday was all about. She told me that Jesus died on the cross, went in the grave, and then came back alive. I was glad to hear she knew the answer, but there was no emotion or excitement in it. I asked what that meant for her? Silence again... So I told again the wonderful story of God's great love for HER, how He sent His son to die on the cross in HER place and how through faith, SHE was saved.
That evening we made resurrection cookies. She joined her brothers and sisters in beating the nuts just as Jesus was beaten by the soldiers, tasting the vinegar just as Jesus was given vinegar to drink while on the cross, tasting the salt of the tears shed by Jesus' followers, putting in the sugar to remind them of God's sweet love toward us, adding the egg whites as a symbol of new life, then beating the whole thing into bright white stiff peaks reminding us that our sins were made white as snow, stirring in the nuts and heaping the little mounds onto the cookie sheet, putting them in the oven and sealing the door with tape just as Jesus' tomb was sealed. (Well, technically they never did quite get to the stiff peak stage and they were more like rounds than mounds on the cookie sheet LOL but I hoped they'd work well enough to get the story across at least.)
Sunday dawned bright and early. Mike made a special breakfast and afterward we checked on the cookies, now hollow and empty just like Jesus' tomb. We had a special time of worship and Mike used the Resurrection Eggs to once again tell the wonderful story of God's great love for us, how He sent His son to die on the cross in our place and how through faith, we are saved.
We had a beautiful quiet day at home with yummy things to eat and pictures taken of lovely children in Easter outfits, talking often of Christ's work on the cross for us. Mike and I had some great conversations about what a celebration of Easter should be (and Christmas too). - having realized recently that the roots of some of our holiday traditions were a stumbling block to dear ones that we've been praying salvation for.
In the evening, it was bedtime for the girls and Abi's turn to pray aloud. A smile filled my heart to hear her pray, "Dear God, thankyou that you died on the cross for me and everyone and that you came back to life again and that you love us so much! I love you, Jesus! In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."
He is Risen!
He is Risen Indeed!

Working Out a Metaphor

2009-02-12T09:29:00.000-06:00

In her wonderful writings, Marilyn Howshall suggests that God speaks to us most often in metaphors. I too have found that occassionally something will suddenly come to mind - a little seed of an idea - a spark of understanding - a bit of a metaphor - and I have to work it all out, find the ends of the idea, pull it out until it breaks down. So forgive me while I think (type) outloud, for while writing to a friend in a dark spot today, God gave me a metaphor seed.

Looking down at the mire and focusing on the sin done to us, God's flashes of brightness and hope are only flickerings on the edge of consciousness, hardly noticeable - but looking up and focusing on God's love, those flashes are so bright and beautiful - like looking up at the sky knowing that the next firework is coming momentarily and expecting its beauty.

The idea of watching the fireworks has continued to pull at the edges of my mind. It's kind of neat really. We don't go to see the fireworks only to keep our heads down and stubbornly gaze at the earth. Can you imagine, someone walking along looking at the ground and the sky lights up with golden sparkles above his head, and instead of saying, "ooh, fireworks!" and turning to look up and wait for the next one, he only complains that the ground is so muddy and there are so many rocks. The flash of light was too short to do him any good, he thinks. He's still in this horrible muddy place.

Oh, does that sound familiar! Crazy as it sounds, I have a natural inclination to do that very thing. It's easy to see life in terms of the negative. Negative self-talk, negative experiences - the whole cup half empty and then some. The children may be arguing and fighting, full of selfishness and spite. Then one of them comes up to me with a kiss or does something helpful, and I hardly notice. I still see them as selfish, naughty kids. Lord, forgive me!

But, if I go to see the fireworks, EXPECT to see beautiful fireworks, and keep looking up, God does not disappoint! Each little spark is so exciting! The colors, the sounds, the lights - such lights!

And then, what's really neat - is after gazing up into the heavens watching the grand finale - all the wonderful things God is doing in our lives, then we look back at the earth, and there are echos of the fireworks on our eyes. Blinding us to the negative. Keeping before us the thought of God's goodness and love.

I love fireworks, don't you? :)

Wisdom From Heidi

2009-02-12T09:27:00.000-06:00

no, not from me :) From the book by Johanna Spyri. I am reading this wonderful book aloud to my girls right now and am finding myself so inspired all over again. I'd like to share this excerpt that had me weeping tears of joy today. It's a little long - but so worth it!

Heidi looked about her first at one thing and then at another. The waving flowers, the blue sky, the bright sunshine, the happy bird - everything was so beautiful! so beautiful! Her eyes were alight with joy. And now she turned to her friend to see if he too were enjoying the beauty. The doctor had been sitting thoughtfully gazing around him. As he met her glad bright eyes, "Yes, Heidi," he responded, "I see how lovely it all is, but tell me - if one brings a sad heart up here, how may it be healed so that it can rejoice in all this beauty?"
"Oh, but," exclaimed Heidi, "no one is sad up here, only in Frankfurt."
The doctor smiled and then growing serious again he continued, "But supposing one is not able to leave all the sadness behind at Frankfurt; can you tell me anything that will help then?"
"When you do not know what more to do you must go and tell everything to God," answered Heidi with decision.
"Ah, that is a good thought of yours, Heidi," said the doctor. "But if it is God Himself who has sent the trouble, what can we say to Him then?"
Heidi sat pondering for a while; she was sure in her heart that God could help out of every trouble. She thought over her own experiences and then found her answer.
"Then you must wait," she said, "and keep on saying to yourself: God certainly knows of some happiness for us which He is going to bring out of the trouble, only we must have patience and not run away. And then all at once something happens and we see clearly ouselves that God has had some good thought in His mind all along; but because we cannot see things beforehand, and only know how dreadfully miserable we are, we think it is always going to be so."
"That is a beautiful faith, child, and be sure you hold it fast," replied the doctor. Then he sat on a while in silence, looking at the great overshadowing mountains and green sunlit valley below before he spoke again -
"Can you understand, Heidi, that a man may sit here with such a shadow over his eyes that he cannot feel and enjoy the beauty around him, while the heart grows doubly sad knowing how beautiful it could be? Can you understand that?"
A pain shot through the child's young happy heart. The shadow over the eyes brought to her remembrance the grandmother, who would never again be able to see the sunlight and the beauty up here. This was Heidi's great sorrow, which reawoke ech time she tought about the darkness. She did not speak for a few minutes, for her happiness was interrupted by this sudden pang. Then in a grave voice she said, -
"Yes, I can understand it. And I know this, that then one must say one of grandmother's hymns, which bring the light back a little, and often make it so bright for her that she is quite happy again. Grandmother herself told me this."
...
Let not your heart be troubled
Nor fear your soul dismay,
There is a wise Defender
And He will be your stay.
Where you have failed, He conquers,
See, how the foeman flies!
And all your tribulation
Is turned to glad surprise.

If for a while it seemeth
His mercy is withdrawn,
That He no longer careth
For His wandering child forlorn,
Doubt not His great compassion,
His love can never tire,
To those who wait in patience
He gives their heart's desire.

Through The Time Machine

2009-02-12T09:24:00.001-06:00

Good Morn to ye! So were my daughters greeted this morning by a woman calling herself Goodwife Smith. ;) (aka Mom) They were then led upon a journey through a time machine to the time of the pilgrims A closet filled with belongings and quite a few people gave a bit of understanding to the experience upon the Mayflower. We talked of the darkness below decks, the seasickness, the lack of showers, oh my!, the time when the great beam cracked and God provided a way to keep the ship in one piece through a great printing press screw brought by one of the men.

Next we made our way through the time machine to just a few years into the future. Enough so that we were past the difficult times of starving and sickness, though we talked about how God had taken care of us even in those times. Now we had good safe homes and the children were invited to join us in breaking fast. The manservants, Terran, Micha, and Jeremiah had put together a lovely repast. We had johnny cakes and dressed eggs. While the children ate, Goodwife Smith read to them from a book that had come through the time machine with them - a "Landmark" book about the pilgrims at Plymoth.

As the day continued, we entered a sort of twilight zone of living half in the 1600's and half in 2007. :) I had a violin lesson to teach, then fed the baby and then we decided to learn how to knit. Since the girls had never knit before and the boys had not tried in years, we started with finger knitting. They had so much fun and were so proud of their accomplishments.

A lesson from a hornbook and reading from the Good Book (King James version of course) brought us up to lunch time which was a simple meal of bread and cheese. We had learned that the real pilgrims would probably have had their big meal then, but we wanted to save the big meal for when Daddy would be home.

Naptime is over and the girls are jumping into some more finger knitting and hand sewing. I hope to pick the book back up and finish it before we have to get super busy with supper preparations. We have beefsteak pie, sweetpotatoes and apples, sally lunn bread, and almond tarts planned for our menu.

What Would Ma Ingalls Do?

2009-02-12T09:22:00.000-06:00

Are you one of those people who looks around and wonders how in the world you can ever get "it all" done? I sure am! Every day the to do list gets longer. Eight things greet me on the list in the morning. Three or four things get checked off, but everything takes longer than I expect, and then 5 more things are added to the remaining 5 for the day ahead! I've often looked back at the lives of our foremothers and wondered how they managed, especially without all the time and labor saving devices we have. I ask myself over and over, what would Ma Ingalls do?

I have a long long way to go, but here are a few things I'm learning...

1.Early to bed and early to rise...
I thought I was doing this, getting up at 5:30, but I've recently come to learn that some women get up even earlier - much earlier. Right now I get half an hour to myself in the mornings to spend some time with the Lord and get some things accomplished. Just think what could be done with 2 hours!

2. Go to the ant...
No idleness allowed. Always be doing at least one thing, preferably more. I am required to sit down while nursing the baby so that is when I allow myself to get online. I want to spend the evenings with my husband even if that means sitting in front of the tv, so hand sewing or preparing the children's lessons for the next day can get done during that time. Using a crock pot for meals is a great way to do more things at once if I can just get myself to think of it before it's too late in the day. Teaching children to be helpers is another way to get more done at once. My children help a lot, but I still sometimes get into the guilt mode where I feel like I'm asking too much of them. I'm sure Ma Ingalls never thought of that when asking her children to do chores and help out.
No laziness allowed. Yes, there's a difference. Most people would not consider me a lazy person. I keep very busy and do a lot. But laziness is very much in my heart. If I have a choice, I'll choose to do the chore that is more fun rather than the one that needs doing the most. Even if I would never whine out loud, in my heart I'm afraid it's sometimes another matter. Afternoon naps I have to admit are a point where my selfishness and laziness are evident. I've always required an afternoon nap of my children. I've always believed it to be important, and I still do - but it doesn't need to be as long as I've stretched it just to have "sanity" time. There are so many things that I would love to be able to do with my children - crafts, knitting, more time for music, taking walks - things that I've often said I don't have time for. When it's suggested that I shorten naptime - oh no! I need that time. When would I get done the things that I need to do alone? hmm, maybe if I followed number one?

3. The family that stays together...
God recently brought this one back up to me and I need to impliment it for real this time and keep it that way. All too often I've found myself doing some writing or nursing the baby and the next thing I know the boys have disappeared into their bedroom with the door closed, the older girls have done the same in their bedroom, and the younger girls are who knows where wreaking havoc. Just think of the time that could be saved not having to clean up the mess created by an unsupervised curious two year old! Not to mention the closeness of relationships found in a family that stays together and has worked out the kinks together. Mom is right there to notice and nip problem attitudes and button pushers right in the bud. This is hard for me. I'll admit there are times when the youngers are getting too rambunctious, one of the older ones is confused with math, a middle child needs to know how to spell a word, and my head feels like it's about to explode with the chaos. I need to learn to be prepared with quiet activities for the younger ones, and for coping strategies for the school time frenzy. I need to take the time to teach the children to be patient, to wait their turn, and to be understanding of others. God has given me the opportunity to teach them those things right here in the livingroom. I just haven't taken advantage of it.

Tis the gift to be simple...
Simplification is an ongoing process here. Simplification balanced with reality. I have a husband who is into computers and a son who writes computer programs. My own business, Daddy's Little Princess is computer based. We own 6 computers that are used regularly plus at least three more that are under desks and in corners here and there in various stages of completeness. That's not something I can change and probably wouldn't want to. But simplicity is more than paring down possessions to the bare essentials and living without modern gadgets. It's also looking at that to do list, praying over it, and then walking away to do the next thing whatever that is, without getting overly wrapped up in what's left on the list. It's spending time seeing the smiles in the little ones' eyes when the craft supply box is pulled out and not worrying about the mess it will make. It's sharing a cup of tea with a friend with a nursling on each of our laps, talking about the goodness of the Lord and what He's been doing in our lives. It's typing with one hand at a blog while nursing too. LOL And it's a reminder that as I work toward living as Ma Ingalls would, I need to also keep in mind that my to do list may not be God's and just walk in His rhythm for my day.

God is so good!

The Lord Giveth and The Lord Taketh Away

2009-02-12T09:19:00.000-06:00

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

It just never ends, does it? The Lord decided not to sell our house in town, and it turned out that He had plans for it, for us to be able to help out family. Each month has been an adventure in trusting the Lord to pay each bill, but God is good and He always provides.

My husband's car had a small crack in the windshield. Last week the ice expanded the crack and we will have to replace the whole windshield. I don't know when or how.

Monday the dryer died. My friend and I actually took it apart and thought we'd fixed it, but now it looks like the motor itself is kaput. We're hoping to get a repair guy to see if it's worth fixing or if it's time for a new one.

Then yesterday, I drove down to Portage to do a load of laundry at my sister's house and on the way back, the van started making a horrible smell. I have no idea what's going on there yet!

And just when I thought we could go to bed in peace, the boys' computer died a rather dramatic death. All my oldests' game programming work is likely gone.

God is so good, isn't He? Everything gets stripped away until all you can do is throw yourself on His mercies and trust that somehow He'll work it all out for your good. The pantry is full. The clothesline is available. The snow and the woods are so incredibly beautiful and peaceful. The boys have been bringing in firewood each day so that a lovely roaring fire in the woodstove can get out the last of the ice crystals in the clothes. My oldest son praised the Lord when his computer died last night and was able to smile, knowing that God is in control. (Would I have been able to do that as a 15 year old? - not likely!) I am so incredibly blessed!

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

A Real Life Learning Adventure

2009-02-12T09:17:00.000-06:00

My dear friend, Tamara and her family are on a real life learning adventure! A few weeks ago they just decided that they are going to learn to play bluegrass music.

Tamara went on e-bay (a new adventure in itself!) and bought the least expensive instruments they could find for the most part - 2 violins, 3 mandolins, and a banjo! They found books of music and cd's at the music store and they are proceeding to teach themselves to play!
Now, just to put this into perspective, Tamara does not play an instrument, she does not sing, except for the occasional praise song that bubbles forth from her heart, she does not read a note. She has never felt competent in anything to do with music. Her husband plays guitar, but I don't think he reads music either. And yet, her little nine year old daughter played "Bile Them Cabbage Down" beautifully for me the other day! How I wish I could show her off to all my violin students' moms!

When God started leading me to cut back on music teaching, I started telling the parents that I would be available to them if they wanted to teach their own children. I didn't get a single taker. :( Why is that? If there is one thing I want to shout out loud and clear to all the parents of the world, it is that YOU CAN DO WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO!!!!!! He WILL equip you!

I believe so strongly that God calls us to teach our children. He directs us in what they should learn. Not every child will learn music, and that's ok! I believe that God puts a child into the family that He does, because that is the right family for that child. If that family is interested in astronomy and they all learn astronomy together, they are no better or worse than the family that learns music together, or foreign languages together, or horseback riding together.
The philosophy that says every child should learn to play the piano is wrong in my opinion. Yes, playing music is a wonderful thing, and it is an incredible blessing in our family, but - if there is no interest in the parents to learn - if the child is dropped off weekly at a teacher's home or studio and is forced or bribed to practice the rest of the week, I feel he would be much better off to pursuit some other interest at that time, one that the family can all enjoy together. If this is truly a God given interest in this child, the parent needs to make a way for home learning to happen. And that's not as difficult as it sounds.

The biggest problem is that parents in general either don't care enough about their child's interests to make an effort to learn the subject themselves, or they don't feel competent to do so. Most of them, the latter! Our society engrains into us the need for "experts" - implying that we can't possibly learn or do these things ourselves.

Now don't get me wrong. Experts have their place. My friend Tamara didn't just buy the instruments and let the children "have at it". She bought the books and cd's first of all. This is a wonderful wonderful way to learn any subject. We have the experts in books, we can digest them, fit them into our Christian worldview, take them to the Lord in prayer, fill ourselves up with them, and naturally let them flow into the lives of our family.

- And, Tamara and her family have friends who play these instruments. They know someone who plays the banjo, so when her son couldn't figure out how to tune his instrument properly, they asked this friend to help - not to take over and teach him - but to help him tune the banjo. When they had a question about stringing a violin when its E string broke, they came to me. Experts have their place, but they need not usurp the God given role of family.

If you have a child who is interested in learning to play an instrument, do your homework. There are resources available. Personally, I love the "Suzuki" materials because they have the tapes or cd's, they stay away from music's version of "twaddle", and they give students the tools they need to learn. Now if I could just convince my students that they do have those tools!

Watch for God's opportunities in your family's life. If God puts a desire to learn an instrument in your child's heart and you don't know much about it, look for people in your life who do know - people who can mentor you and help you to teach your children. He will provide - maybe not immediately. Sometimes He needs to teach your child patience and determination in their interest to wait for God's provision. But in His time, He will provide. And when He does, you'd better believe that YOU CAN do it!

What God Wants From You

2009-02-12T08:44:00.000-06:00

I have a friend who is constantly reading Bible commentaries, books, and websites, desperately trying to figure out exactly what she should believe about everything and why. Her quest for the perfect doctrine is all consuming and she worries all the time that she might have something wrong that will harm her relationship with the Lord.

Another friend of mine looks at her life and sees nothing to live for. Depression rules her thoughts and actions. She believes she could never be good enough to earn anyone's approval, especially God's. The people she loves would be better off without her around. She feels nothing but loathing for herself, and although she believes the work of Jesus on the cross is enough to get her into heaven, she's certain that her life here on earth will keep her from God's loving arms.

Nearly EVERY woman I know looks into the mirror and thinks, what a fat, ugly lady I am. I need to lose at least 20 pounds. Who could ever love a blob like me? I don't even have the self discipline to stay on a diet or to exercise every day. I enjoy sweets so they must be a form of idolatry to me. How can God ever forgive me when I can't even make myself stop doing this?

What does God want from you? Beyond believing in Jesus and His work of salvation, what does He want? I can tell you what He doesn't want. He doesn't want your super-intelligence that can explain and understand every bit of doctine. He doesn't want your perfection in every area of life. He doesn't want your iron-willed self discipline that can decide to never ever eat anything bad for the rest of your life and actually stick to that decision! What does God want?

He wants your HEART! He wants YOU!

It's not that giving of your heart to Him that you did when you first believed (although it can happen at the same time). It's something deeper. It's utterly falling in LOVE with Him!

Do you remember when you first fell in love with your spouse? Wow! Life was incredible! The whole world seemed brighter, food tasted better, every beautiful flower was noticed and enjoyed, music touched you more deeply, the name of your love was constantly on your lips and in your thoughts, and you couldn't WAIT to see him again. And everyone could see the bloom of Love in you. That's what God wants to be to us. And, get this! That's how He feels about YOU! Isn't that incredible?

Just stop for a minute and let yourself FEEL that amazement. Yes, it's true. He says in Isaiah 49, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
I have engraved you on the palms of my hands"
That's how much He loves you. He literally engraved YOU on the palms of His hands when He was nailed to the cross. He is excited when He hears from you and He looks forward to the opportunity to talk with you through His Word. He sees you as beautiful and precious and HIS. We hear these things often enough to take them for granted, to not really think about what they MEAN. But when we do stop and think about it - really think about it - WOW! What an incredible thing to be loved by God! How can we not love Him with an all-consuming love - the kind of love we had for our spouse when we first fell in love. How can we not see that flower growing by the wayside or hear the words of a song and know without a doubt that it is a special delivery just for us? How can we not find His name on our lips and in our thoughts constantly?

And do you know what happens when we fall utterly in Love with our wonderful God?

We find that we desire so much to be in His presence that we spend more time in His Word and find the wisdom and understanding that He promises there.

We find that new thoughts of praise and joy push out those of hopelessness and self hatred.

We find that people around us think we are "just about the most beautiful person they know".

We don't have to strive for any of those things. They just happen! Isn't that amazing??

I have been each of those women at the beginning of this article and now I am the new person described just above. In my flesh, I still can look at myself as "fat, ugly, stupid, can't do anything right, Heidi" but that only makes it more amazing that God loves even ME! And He tells me to take that thought captive and remind myself that those things are not true, because He has changed me, and in His sight I am beautiful. Beautiful! WOW!

Do you know that? Do you really understand that? Can you feel His love for you?

Jesus loves YOU
This I know
For the Bible tells me so!

Get excited and fall in LOVE and watch your life change utterly!

Taste and See

2009-02-12T08:43:00.000-06:00

I decided to move some of the articles and blog-type writings from my business website over to here. I figured they'd make more sense here - and it would look like I was more active with writing than I actually am. LOL This article has actually been reprinted by a couple of different e-zines over the years. I pray these articles will be a blessing for those who happen to stop by. - Heidi

Taste And See

As you know, this is the time of year for setting goals and making resolutions. Have you made any goals for yourself this year? Five years ago, I resolved in January to read through the Bible in a year for the first time. Oh, how the Lord has blessed that time! I had never gotten very far on reading the Bible before. Although I'd grown up in a Christian home, reading the Bible for myself was never stressed, but only mentioned occassionally as something I really ought to do. So, for the first time, I began to read the Scriptures all on my own. I had a "one year Bible" sitting around that was in the "New Living Translation". I'd been a little leary before about reading it, because I'd been told that it was *not* a true translation of the Bible, but only a paraphrase, and therefore not even really the Word of God! But I was determined to do something, and that is what I had, so I began.
Perhaps one could make the argument that the NLT isn't purely the Word of God, but I can tell you that for myself, it "woke up" my sleeping Spiritual senses, and whatever was God's Word still in it, soaked into the dry ground of my heart. Not far into the year, I found I had a hunger for more and more of God!
Finally, THIS was that "hunger and thirst for righteousness" that I had heard about and prayed for, and wondered why I didn't really have it! I hadn't realized that my appetite needed to be whetted. No wonder the Bible says, "Taste and see that the Lord is good"!
Since then, each year I have used a "one year Bible" and have read several different translations. This year I am reading out of the "Amplified" version. And I have found an incredible blessing! It iswww.oneyearbibleonline.com . There, I can not only read each day online and choose the translation I wish to read from, but I can even open up multiple windows with several translations and compare as I go! God is so good!
If you have yet to make a habit of spending some time each day in God's Word, why don't you check out the site www.oneyearbibleonline.com ? It doesn't have to be a requirement - just one more *should* in your day. Reading God's Word is not something to "check off" your list and "get done". God wants our time with Him to flow naturally out of our relationship with Him. His LOVE compells us to WANT to know more of Him. But at the same time, it is easy to get used to the diet of simply hearing God's Word in teaching from others, and never learning to feed yourself.
When my children were each babies, I used to be able to let them sit on my lap at mealtimes and they sat quietly while I ate. But once they got to be about eight months old, and I began to let them taste grown up foods now and then, look out! They couldn't possibly sit on my lap while I ate without getting their fingers into everything! They wanted to taste everything!
In the same way, we may not have a desire for God's Word or a hunger and thirst for righteousness, because we've never TASTED of it! God's Word is FULL of vitamins that we need for our Spiritual growth. His table is set for you and He's calling you to the feast!
Taste and See!Taste and See!

Stiving For Simplicity

2009-02-12T08:42:00.000-06:00

The road to simplicity is a hard one. We are forever pulled back into our chaotic modern lifestyles - mainly by our own doing. Last spring I convinced my husband to allow me to rent a dumpster for a week. I went through our house top to bottom and got rid of so many, many things. We filled the dumpster once and half filled it again by the time we were through. I am so glad we did it. Yet, if you look around our house now, it still seems so cluttered, so full of STUFF!

Don't get me wrong, a lot of that stuff is good stuff. Our family is interested in so many wonderful things. We love music and have many instruments and tons of sheet music, we love scrapbooking, good books, sewing, teddybear making, photography, knitting, rocketry, model trains, and computers - and there is all the stuff that goes with those wonderful hobbies. The hard part is finding a home for it all - and if the home is in a not-so-accessible place, as some of those homes must be - it makes it that much harder for the stuff to find its home when we're done with it!

So we look around and wonder, where do we find simplicity in a life that is Full and Blessed with so many good things? I've been reading The Plain Reader and Carla Emery's Encyclopedia of Country Living as we look forward to and prepare for our probable move to the country in April - and it is so incredibly inspiring. But I have to take my heart filled desire for that Little House lifestyle and mesh it with the reality of OUR family's life. I don't think my husband would go for life without electricty - and much as I might THINK I want it, it would be rather difficult for me to continue my web-based businesses without electricity and computers!

I look forward to another chance to use that dumpster before we move, that's for SURE! But at the same time I have to remember that my simplicity will not be the simplicity of Little House, or of the Amish, or of any friend or aquaintance I've ever met. In the midst of the struggle - the apparent contradiction between striving and simplicity - there is a place, deep inside, where there is no striving - only perfect simplicity - because I know that right now, we are in the place God has for us - and as we move toward the country life, I know that there also, will be the exact right, God ordained place for us....

Life is Such

2009-02-12T08:39:00.000-06:00

Life is such -
A series of sameness.
Wherever I go, nothing changes.
I am only a drop
In an unfathomable ocean.
I make ripples, but they only go so far.
What can I do to change the world?
I look -
Watch -
Expect to see something.
But time flies ever faster by.
And the sea is still the sea.
And I am still
Only a raindrop...

And maybe that's the point. It's easy to look around on the journey of life and think, "this town looks an awful lot like the last town we went through ... and the one before that. You know, I cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the livingroom and changed a diaper, I hemmed a dress, I wrote a blog entry - and they will all have to be done again - probably sooner than later. Yet it's not for nothing. Only God knows who will be touched by some tiny part of my small life today - - one of my children... a friend... a stranger... Somewhere out there is a tiny seedling whose thirsty roots are stretching out into the soil around them - and exactly what they need is one little raindrop. :)