Thursday, February 12, 2009

Waiting... waiting... waiting on the Lord

It's that time again. 3 weeks to my due date - maybe 4 given my history of late babies - maybe 2 if dreams have anything to do with it . You'd think by number nine I'd be used to the constant contractions that don't actually seem to do anything, the intense pressure on already sore hips, the lack of sleep (between the hips, the contractions, and the 2yr old who still wakes sometimes at night - though not as often anymore), the hormonal oversensitivity and overwhelmed-ness. I KNOW that God is in control and has a wonderful plan for us. His timing is perfect and the pain along the way is worth it. I want to trust Him more this time than in past pregnancies. I guess I am learning, but I get so disgusted with my tendency to pick the burden back up again instead of leaving it in His hands. This past weekend, after a great pregnancy up to this point, I very suddenly hit that wall. That familiar feeling of I can't DO this anymore!
When I was at this point with Manda, I wrote a note to myself that I wish I still had. I thought I'd try to re-create it today.
No more please, only thankyou - - Please prayers tend to turn into whine prayers, which only make things harder. So today, I'm choosing to say "thankyou"
- Thankyou, Lord for painful kicks in the ribs. At least for that moment I can be pretty sure baby is head down!
- Thankyou, Lord for contractions. Even when I don't see any signs that things are progressing, I know that you are using them to get my body ready for this birth a little bit at a time!
- Thankyou, Lord for 2yr olds who wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. I get the chance to snuggle with her and rock her, which will be a lot harder to do after the new one comes!
- Thankyou, Lord for allowing me to feel overwhelmed and weepy. In those times, You are the only one I can lean on, and You promise that You are always there, drawing me ever closer to You!
- Thankyou, Lord for sore hips. It means that we're going to be having a new member of our family!
- Thankyou, Lord for a super busy baby who turns cartwheels all day and night. He's letting me know he's healthy and happy!
- Thankyou, Lord for Your perfect timing for this baby to be born. You know what else will be going on in our lives at the time, Mike's work schedule, the midwife's schedule, the things that we still need to get ready, the best time for baby and for milk supply. You love us so much and You have all those things worked out already for our Good!
-Thankyou, Lord! Thankyou, Lord! Thankyou, Lord!

1 comment:

  1. pretty soon....I can imagine what you are going through-although I didn't do it nine times:-) only 5 ;-)
    I love you so much! Mom